The Kiss That Ruins You

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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Egnar T. Seinnhoj
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The Kiss That Ruins You

Post by Egnar T. Seinnhoj » May 8th, 2012, 4:39 pm

You've got to know, that I'll burn you down
After I build you miles above the ground
There ain't a single piece of my heart to save
So baby for your own good just run away

I don't fear the energetic tones, I fear the ones that cry
My tears may not be permanent but my sorrows never die
I learned the way that lovers do, of pleasure and of lies
I know the kiss that ruins you and why
It always coincides

I've got no shame, I like rhymes and rain
I love the way I look when I'm insane
I don't need a thrill, I don't need no drugs
The carcinogens on my tongue are enough

Don't give someone your heart if you can't even take the break
I know you want me, honey, but I'll be your worst mistake
I'll ravage your whole world and watch you stumble out the room
But don't cry and say I didn't tell you the truth,
Tonight will ruin you

You ask why I'm here, if I'm so damn bad
And why I warned you when you never asked
You think it's a plan, but what you know
Ain't even half as bad as what you don't

I'm picky, I'm not cocky, I don't say this s----- to boast
The ones that come back anyway, deserve my hell the most
I scream and write on walls in blood, that's just what I do
And I promise by tomorrow you will too,
My kiss will ruin you


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matches
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Re: The Kiss That Ruins You

Post by matches » May 9th, 2012, 12:18 am

Hey,

I have just read your work.
The "shore of Lake Erie--," eh? I'm on the southeast corner of the fighting glove we call Michigan.
About your work--, i found it moved easily and rolled well off the tongue in singing it, I liked it.
Good work,


until...


"Adversity discourages only an inferior people..."

Benito Juarez

"Conformity is the bane of all writers and poets-,
the deadliest of poisons to the dreamer."

Matches

"-- from my pain, for the pleasure of others."
Matches

Hem
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Re: The Kiss That Ruins You

Post by Hem » May 10th, 2012, 4:46 am

The song works very well and I have to admit that the second and fourth stanzas are my favourite parts.
Good rhythm and a rock vibe from start to finish.


Poetry is the language in which man explores his own amazement. ~ Christopher Fry
Poetry is a deal of joy and pain and wonder, with a dash of the dictionary. ~ Kahlil Gibran

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Jahaliel
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Re: The Kiss That Ruins You

Post by Jahaliel » May 13th, 2012, 8:37 am

I love this, I could hear it in my head. Excellent wording, wonderful feel and great work.


3 replies for every post

I loved you then, I love you still though we are shadows of our former glory
Though they try to kill us off, we are a never-ending story


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Dead Rebel
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Re: The Kiss That Ruins You

Post by Dead Rebel » May 13th, 2012, 11:52 am

I can relate to so much of this piece, pointless for anyone trying to save me. Excellent work from another Canadian!!!


Confidence is a state of mind where one is willing to abandon self-preservation in order to achieve their goals

All poets are megalomaniacs
We're all too obsessed with our own misery and experience that it trumps all others


The Rebel Theory

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VeiledPrincess
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Re: The Kiss That Ruins You

Post by VeiledPrincess » May 24th, 2012, 12:30 am

So much pained heavy metal for this song.
Great job.


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ladymaybebaby
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Re: The Kiss That Ruins You

Post by ladymaybebaby » October 8th, 2012, 5:54 pm

I could hear it more as a strange ballad type as I read it. More Stairway to Heaven or anything with that New Orleans black magic edge. Guess you can tell where I was born and raised. Yep, a haunting ballad, eerie drum solo perhaps and a bit of dark jazz. Wonderful and beautiful dark words! I LOVED it! Congrats on a much
deserved spotlight choice!

-LMB
xoxo


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Dew and I want you in our posse! Just PM us!


My latest poem: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=42651

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SirDaniel
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Re: The Kiss That Ruins You

Post by SirDaniel » October 9th, 2012, 5:55 am

If only people took our advise.. if only love wasn't so complicated.. regardless, this song has lyrics that touch you and make you see the power that words can have. Really enjoyed,

~ Daniel



Lonnie
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Re: The Kiss That Ruins You

Post by Lonnie » October 10th, 2012, 10:07 am

A good, enjoyable read that fills up those little niches in one's psyche!



everhopeful
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Re: The Kiss That Ruins You

Post by everhopeful » October 11th, 2012, 12:58 pm

A very energetic and, at times, menacing piece of songwriting. I'm not sure what genre you had in mind for it, but I could see this potentially fitting with a lot of different styles of music. The arrogance of the lyrics is quite provocative and refreshing, delivered without a shred of pity, and some nice turns of phrase.
Congratulations on the spotlight.



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tangerinepie
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Re: The Kiss That Ruins You

Post by tangerinepie » October 11th, 2012, 4:38 pm

Hi,
Lots Of Canadians floating around [ yup me too].This has all the hallmarks of a seasoned song writer, where it blends seamlessly and tells a great edgy story. All my favorite writers have an incredible ability to write as you do.I wish I had seen this sooner, because I think it is awesome, and congrats to you, well deserved..T..


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Alex Sharpe
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Re: The Kiss That Ruins You

Post by Alex Sharpe » October 12th, 2012, 3:17 pm

Very powerful, very eccentric! I loved this.


Alex Sharpe

Ladywindnz
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Re: The Kiss That Ruins You

Post by Ladywindnz » November 24th, 2012, 4:44 am

Ha! Loved it from beginning to end....


The first study for the poet is knowledge of himself. One must be a seer. The poet becomes a seer through a long, immense & reasoned derangement of all the senses. All shapes of love, suffering, madness. He searches himself, he exhausts all poisons, to keep only the quintessences..Arthur Rimbaud

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