life in the meniscus [surface tension]

[JASON]

There is that zone,that little space
between water and sky
between drowning and flying
a purgatorial seam
a suspended state
a holding cell for the weak...

Where life is not living but surviving
a constant unrelenting struggle.
What good are wings
when they splutter and splash
when they cannot do that
for which they were formed?

I am that struggling mayfly
not able to rise from the gloom
not able to flee and escape
the cyclical nature of doom...

[songofmeadow]

just loved what you did with this, the poem progressed so naturally from the title and first lines I sort of knew where it would go but was still surprised by the last stanza, loved it, meadow

[AliMariesDad]

Great poem! I loved your associations: water=bad; air=good. The imagery of the mayfly struggling to free itself from the water to get to the air is absolutley wonderful. What an imaginative metaphor for life.
AMD

[birchpoet]

A great read - I especially liked the last line and 'a purgatorial seam'... Brilliant. :)
birch

[ladymaybebaby]

loved the line 'what good are wings' it to me really says a lot... I personally found it very pivotal to this piece! Loved this one! Congratulations on the spotlight pick of the week! Much deserved!

-LMB
xoxo

[StreamofAether]

Man, this is a great piece right here. The theme is very relevant and I think it could apply to many people and societies. That last stanza nailed it.

[Josie]

I am glad you did not reveal the magfly until the last stanza. I read it the first time just thinking about mankind. Then I had to read it again to appreciate it from the magfly's point of view. I really enjoyed it.

[tangerinepie]

What I call a totally magnificent write.How absolutely unique and the poem structure just so absorbing.I am delighted to see you in the spotlight.Great work..Tangie..

[dornicks]

I liked the way you approached the theme of your piece and enjoyed the read. Congratulations on the Spotlight.

dornicks

[Paralee]

Good. It read so well....kind of an analogy of life.

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

good metaphor on the human race thru the example of the magfly. very well written thought out poem. you deserve the spotlight so congrats.

victor

[SirFleshwound]

So much to like about this. Love the short three stanza format, subtle and leaving the reader wanting more. And what a terrific theme, trapped in the thin spaces of our elemental boundaries. This can be narrowed or broadened to fit any horizon. Top quality work. Congratulations.

[musie]

Jason....reading this was mesmerizing for me, caught me up from the get go in term's of being able to identify with that struggling "mayfly"...so many are in this conundrum of that which is LIFE and you have written it so FABULOUSLY....it's gripping really...and most definitely worthy of the Spotlight! CONGRATULATION'S! Musie

[AliMariesDad]

Powerful metaphor. The hopeless, and helpless, tone of this poem leaves the reader yearning for freedom. Exceptionally written - well worthy of the spotlight.
AMD

[everhopeful]

Such a dark piece of poetry, I have always been a fan of poets using nature analogies in their work and while I am used to seeing that approach in a more upbeat way, I think this is incredibly effective. The image of wings beating against water really helped to emphasise the tension and feeling of being cursed by a position your attributes are ill-equipped to handle.
Congratulations on the spotlight!

[Robert Haigh]

A highly creative write! The literal and the metaphorical go hand in hand perfectly here!

[Sendarian]

echos of sentiments already expressed and feelings shared.
you write beautifully