Loveskill (word breaks)

[Alan]

Another one of my experimental form poems

NosignifIcantatlastask
Myloveskillperverse

Amiabletowardthesefeelings

Andnowhereisshe
Notabletogether

No significant atlas task
My loves kill, perverse

Am I able to ward these feelings

And nowhere is she
Not able to get her

No sign if I can't at last ask
My love skill per verse

Amiable toward these feelings

And now here is she
Notable together

Hopefully it's not so convoluted that you can see, depending on word breaks, you get two contrasting love poems! One happy/optimistic and one sad/pessimistic.

[Dew]

Freaking brilliant! Absolutely adored the idea. And honestly, before I got to the second and third stanzas...I was already re-breaking the first one and experimenting with meanings. Really, really wonderful work. What astounds is that these words were waiting in some dictionary...laying in plain sight, to be found and washed off and set on display like this. Applause! - dew

[everhopeful]

This is something out of leftfield and I love it! A part of me wonders if there can be any psychological stance on which version the reader 'sees' in the joined up part?
Like Dew there's a part of me which is awestruck about how this poem was always possible, those words were always there to be used like this, yet you are the first person I've seen find the potential for dual meaning within the unique presentation.
Much admiration for your effort here!

[jeremyf]

Your appreciation for language/words and how meaning can be intellectually "fun" shines brightly in yet another one of your thought provoking writes Alan. I had a good time trying to decipher meaning with my first pass at this. Seeing other interpretations only heightened my appreciation for your work here.

[flux]

This is mind bending, I had no idea what was going on till I read the third stanza and then I just thought... I just couldn't do this, I don't think this way. As I said, mind bending.

[dwells]

Always eager to learn something new and this was exceptional: the power of words and their fragmentary nature in context, grammar, and speech - most intriguing! (now you got me thinking...OH oh - cheers!)

[dornicks]

A clever piece of writing ,deserving of the Spotlight Congratulations,

dornicks

[karrie]

Absolutely wonderful! Congratulations on the spotlight!

[JASON]

clever work, you must be one hot scrabble player...
congratulations on the spotlight.

[rupertpupkin]

Hi, lovely job with this. Very cleverly done. Very enjoyable read. Enjoy your week in the well deserved spotlight, cheers, Sean.

[Zojourn]

Not much left to add for this remarkable (w)rite except maybe "beyond compare". Immensely enjoyed!

~Z

[redtoblue]

As deserving of a spotlight as any piece I've come across here. Truly intelligent in both craft and execution. There genuinely are not enough good things I can say. So original, it hurts.

[everhopeful]

In the nicest way possible, this hurts my head to read! It feels like a magic trick with words, as though you've pulled some sleight of hand and fooled the reader, yet the illusion holds out, there are no trap doors, just your immense powers of observation to see the potential to form something like this and the persistence to execute it.
Congratulations on the spotlight!

[Dew]

Still love this idea...bravo and congrats on the spotlight...well, well, WELL deserved!!!!

[inflames]

I definitely read the negative one first. I wonder what that says about me? This is very interesting. Nicely done. It was a pleasure to read this and get the feelings that both poems evoke out of it. Awesome work- and very creative! Congrats on your spotlight! It is well deserved.

[Josie]

This was creative and a lot of fun. Thank you for sharing. Did you get this idea from something you read or did you come up with this idea on your own?

[Alan]

This was creative and a lot of fun. Thank you for sharing. Did you get this idea from something you read or did you come up with this idea on your own?

Always loved wordplay. Always.

For example, when I was a little kid, whenever I saw "together" I've already thought "to-get-her" and so this is just an elaboration of a little kid playing with words.

I've also gotten the idea from visual rhymes. The most common example is laughter and slaughter. For example, slaughter is virtually s+laughter so think of a word that ends with s and you've got a word break right there:

A Manslaughter
A Man's laughter

[starscollide]

Great twist to poetry. nice work:) Very interesting

[jsol]

woah, this is crazy brilliant. totally mind blowing. more please!