Perpetual Sorrow Follows A Smoldering Iniquity (Mature)

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AoR
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Perpetual Sorrow Follows A Smoldering Iniquity (Mature)

Post by AoR » August 26th, 2014, 3:08 am

Came up with this upon finishing Smoldering Iniquity. Thanks so much for the comments - I had a fun time writing that one. Fantasy is currently my favorite board (so I had to be serious this once things_I_write. :thumb: So I am glad you didn't laugh haha!) I am not sure if it merits a mature tag but played it safe anyways. I was much more lenient with the rhyme on this one, still I hope you guys enjoy. :)

Perpetual Sorrow
Follows A Smoldering iniquity
The Queen's Pet


Your voice whispers to me, on the ever pleasant breeze.
From underneath the great oak, I see you nearing.
Rolling hills, a field decorated with flowers...
A somber regret showcases in the clearing,
Traveling on a fragrant breeze that's grown sour.

You speak words bitter and cold - a repeated conversation.
Pale hands wrap around my throat, your words continue.
A mental scathe, an unseen ache claws within anew.
Gnaws the chest until it bleeds a wicked red,
That seethes and breathes a rapturous despair for you.

A world of shame, this dreaming garden that remains,
Even as its blades of green are stained crimson.
Always vibrant - never sharing its dark secrets,
The howl of a mournful song calls to those who will listen-
Ensnaring those into a waltz of false innocence.

A whisper is costly - it cannot be unheard,
A whisper by you, ended everything I knew.
How far does eternity stretch, I cannot fathom.
Cursed eternal life, a forever with you.
Will I lose what little hope I have in this dark Kingdom?
Forever a 'Pet', a victim of your garden?

Your hands release me, I sputter and choke
On the air that carries your sins and despair.
How far shall this dialogue mar and scar,
Until I lose any thought and respond to your dares?
Will time eventually blacken my heart?

Your lips find my ear, a scathing seduction,
How far do your desires travel this evening?
A waning sun in the painted dusk,
Your hands are gentle, so deceiving.
A full moon rises, no noises - hush.

Unintentionally, a sigh escapes me.
A dagger quip steadies itself as your anger grows,
An action that is chilling and scathes the soul with unease.
Forced to my knees, your words poisoning slow,
The night blankets in a painful tease...

Words carry keen, my punishment known,
Your laughter lulls quietly amongst the chill that grows...
My senses sharpen, your pleasures your own-
The morning shall glisten over naked limbs,
My blood paints your garden a vibrant rue,
Of deep dark reds and my tears of grief
And in your delight, it recites in glee,
A damning whisper on the pleasant breeze.


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Re: Perpetual Sorrow Follows A Smoldering Iniquity (Mature)

Post by things_i_wrote » August 26th, 2014, 6:03 am

indeed this is a bad queen for sure...i think you could go on the other side and put a mature tag would be a cool idea hahah :w00t!:
im kidding this is absolutely a great poem..i like how you control the rhyming it was pretty cool words you used there

this is my fave part and the last stanza as well:

Unintentionally, a sigh escapes me.
A dagger quip steadies itself as your anger grows,
An action that is chilling and scathes the soul with unease.
Forced to my knees, your words poisoning slow,
The night blankets in a painful tease...

cheers..TIW


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Re: Perpetual Sorrow Follows A Smoldering Iniquity (Mature)

Post by everhopeful » August 26th, 2014, 1:55 pm

An intriguing follow up to your earlier piece, it was a nice touch to write from the perspective of the Queen's Pet and show how conflicted he was by the sheer scale of her destruction. The element of seduction is strong in this one, almost makes me have sympathy for him ending as her lapdog in misery! It seems to me that he might well have lived through it, but he was dead inside long before she ended him.
A tragedy in the fantasy, and did I mention the violence? lol



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Re: Perpetual Sorrow Follows A Smoldering Iniquity (Mature)

Post by Chelle » August 26th, 2014, 11:02 pm

Didnt read the other one...but yes interesting and vaguely written. Seems like some interesting slave-owner dynamic and one wonders what the punishment is for and if it means death or just violence in retaliation?


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Re: Perpetual Sorrow Follows A Smoldering Iniquity (Mature)

Post by allmirth » August 27th, 2014, 4:19 pm

A dark and intriguing write. Strong emotional intensity makes this a most compelling read.

Thanks so much for sharing.
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Re: Perpetual Sorrow Follows A Smoldering Iniquity (Mature)

Post by AuroraRayne » August 29th, 2014, 3:14 pm

Gut wrenching gripping poetry of excellence!


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