Bliss (A Match Made…)

[Darkness]

Bliss (A Match Made…)


If Weariness were a color,
I bet it would match my skin.
If Loneliness had a brother,
I know I would look like him.
If Emptiness were the ocean wide,
I’d spend my life at sea;
But Darkness holds for me a bride,
Her name is Misery.

I wake to face the day, unclad,
My emotions laid bare.
For all to see, stark raving mad,
My venue of despair.
Slowly stirring the cauldron,
Sprinkling hope atop the boil;
The years of my life free fallen
Unto a fruitless spoil.

Still, the relics of ambition
Live, if but to stay my hand;
Coming to blind fruition
In the penchant of the damned…
As the starless sky above me
Holds forever in discord,
And to know you’ll never love me
Stands as my only reward.

If my soul had but an ounce of worth,
I’d sell it for a dime—
If to stop trying to unearth
Redemptions for lost time.
But there it is, the truth in BOLD,
My stark reality:
I only manage to turn hearts cold,
Once they’re given to me.

Still, I’ll present you my best smile,
Like I did once, while living—
Take my place ‘the end of the aisle,
Giving in to Misgiving.
As Darkness passes me the ring,
Place it on her bony finger,
While the abandoned hall comes to sing
For Misery and her dead ringer.


Michael Anderson

[Mike6]

You have an amazing sense of rhythm. It's really great to see. The fact that you can rhyme in the darkness board and still make your writing dark is an achievement. I loved the metaphor in this. Found it to be really fulfilling. Great stuff,

[dwells]

Still chuckling over that clever last line Michael; some great rhymes and memorable thoughts in this self-disparaging piece. Many finely crafted examples to make your point and drive it home. Can I throw the rice after the nuptials? Cheers and you need a better reward with some positive reinforcement - priceless!

[everhopeful]

As already pointed out, the rhyme and rhythm of this one catch the eye. I'm particularly impressed with how seamlessly you cross-rhymed, it's never easy to do that and retain the natural narrative progression like you did here. The idea of being married to darkness is quite a prospect - some folks who are involved in a normal marriage say it ends like that anyways! However you've really flushed out the idea of a relationship here, one perhaps with more 'give' than 'take', at least from the speaker's perspective, and by the end of the poem the extended metaphor is stripped bare into despairing human emotion.
Excellent work.

[Darkness]

Mike6 , thank you, that's quite a compliment through and through. Fore some reason, the Darkness has always been my comfort zone in rhyming. I tend to have a harder time making it work with the heart to heart stuff, but it just bleeds out of me here.

dwells, I'll take rice over bricks any day. Not sure about the positive reinforcement though. Misery and I have been together for a long time now, wouldn't want to ruin a good thing.

everhopeful,

stripped bare into despairing human emotion.

Exactly what I I was shooting for. You're dead on with the give and take analogy too. Once you've given all you have... in essence, all you are, and yet the receiver is still taking, despairing becomes the easiest choice, if not the only one.

[inflames]

I adore the ending to this. It's brilliant. Well done with this poem- congrats on your spotlight!

[things_i_wrote]

omg that was amazing the start to the end was just amazing i'm speechless no words can describe this
one and i loved how you control the rhyming

i felt like the author is broken

cheers..TIW

[Mike6]

Just came back to say that I'm glad this madew it into the spotlight! Congrats. :)

[ladymaybebaby]

Wow! Such a strong piece of writing! There are so many wonderful poetic devices going on. Your skill at rhyming is awesome... it's so smooth and fluid I didn't even notice it until I actually looked back at the words. That takes immense talent in my book. The tone, the word choice, the feelings all just spot on! This is a perfect spotlight choice! Congrats on a well deserved honor! Such wonderful poetry here!

-LMB
xoxo

[dornicks]

So well written and greatly enjoyed. An inspiring read,one to be remembered ! Many congratulations on the Spotlight,

dornicks

[everhopeful]

Just to reiterate what I said before a little, the composition of this one is so strong that it gives you a solid foundation to build the extended metaphor. The form becomes as invisible as it can, since there's no feeling of anything being forced to fit with rhyme or meter, and as effectively as you build up the metaphor, when it's pulled back apart we see how empty the speaker ends up.
Congratulations on the spotlight.