Redeemed - Sonnet

[LorettaYoung]

Redeemed

Aquiver in the luscious flowered bower
she plucked a plump ripe apple from the tree.
A scheming serpent praised its potent power.
Its bitter taste haunts human history.
Surrounding storms soon trumpeted upheaval.
She shivered in a snowy windswept squall.
While lightning struck with forty days of evil.
The serpent slithered close to cheer her fall.
Behold, dawns rise aglow in gold reprise,
caressing colored bowers, fruits and vine.
Exalted light shines bright as darkness dies.
and in its splendor sparrows songs recline.
Now wreathed with wings where angels harmonize,
she flies in prophesied eternal skies.

g.Eve Kaye 9/15/15

[dwells]

An ode to Eve, and the internal rhyme of the closing line was a beauty too. Your use of some stilted lingo was a true gift here on display Loretta. The meter flawless throughout and the rhyming words totally unanticipated. Lots to love here - cheers! - Dan

[LorettaYoung]

Thanks Dan for your usual perceptive focus which has always been inspiration for me; and your very kind comments, and nice to say hello to a mentor. best Loretta

[wsparks]

Loretta, this was a fine tribute indeed! "darkness flies"..."she flies".. you would think we would grow tired of "the bitter taste" In His Hands ws

[LorettaYoung]

Yes, after of thousands of years mankind has conquered cyberspace, but can't seem to accumulate much wisdom. Thanks for reading and commenting. Best Loretta

[BarryC]

this is fantastic-deserves the spotlight

[falstaff]

Every word a colorful picture! congrats on the spotlight Loretta- Falstaff.

[scotsman]

Absolutely loved it Loretta a well deserved spotlight

[LorettaYoung]

Thank you all so much for your kind comments and congratulations; which are so meaningful to me. Best Loretta

[everhopeful]

I'm a fan of this form Loretta, and I particularly enjoyed how you used it. The stylistic differences between the octave and sestet really make your turn pop, especially as you've marked it so boldly with a line beginning 'Behold' - it's like a special reference for sonneteers to appreciate. While I enjoyed the sonic appeal of the octave, with the alliteration being both distinctive and also apt (for example, the sibilant hiss sound for the serpent), the sestet was striking for its vibrant and uplifting language. The heroic couplet was wonderfully quotable, as good closing couplets should be, and a fine end to your poem.
Congratulations on the spotlight!

[LorettaYoung]

What a wonderful analysis of the structure of the sonnet; so much appreciate, and am so glad you enjoyed it. Thank you so very much. I do stop by sometimes, and have missed seeing your work here. I'm very honored by your comments, and the spotlight. Best Loretta (PS: was once told never to use the word "behold" as it is supposedly cliché, to heck with that I say, when appropriate, it's to best word).

[Josie]

I always expect a treat when I read your name. You have a gift of making alliteration and rhyming sound like normal conversation, but, at the same time, uplifting and beautiful. I liked the contrast between the octave and sestet.
Josie

[LorettaYoung]

Josie: Your comments are very kind and so meaningful to me. I thank you for stopping by and reading. Best Loretta