No place for strays

[The Void One]

No place for strays





been a while since i
sat and just
smiled;
been a while since
i forgot to remember
the hurt i hide;
life goes on
with or without my
screams and annoyed
cries;
been a while since i
said and meant
'im fine'

there's no cure to this illness that i've got
when there's nothing i want
but i want to not have what ive had so far

is living so hard
or am i just hard to fit where lies are considered art ?
is loving so painful
or am i just throwing my heart around with all my might ?
are money so hard to come
or am i built to build what no one ever wants ?

[garic]

I think, unfortunately, many can relate to these words. I definitely feel the angst throughout!

These two phrasings (is "phrasings" a word) are especially poignant to me

been a while since
i forgot to remember
the hurt i hide

or am i built to build what no one ever wants ?

Hoping this poem is a purge and not a permanent state of being for the writer. I read it and I liked what the poet built here.

don't know what salutation to use after reading this ...
so ...
sincerely (this will have to do),
garic.

[miharu]

"life goes on
with or without my
screams and annoyed
cries"
What a bitter lesson that so many people are forced to learn. I really related to these lines.

"but i want to not have what ive had so far"
Are you reading my mind? Loved this line.

The questions the speaker poses in the final stanza really showcases the uncertainty building throughout the initial stanza.

[everhopeful]

I'm not sure if you wrote this with vocal recital in mind, but it has a bit of a performance feel to me; I think the subtle, delayed rhymes, the pacing and emphasis on certain lines, and the hints of repetition would give this a nice sound when spoken aloud.
This one screams resignation to me, even if it does it in an understated voice, and the concluding questions seem logical to ask for someone experiencing those emotions.

[rupertpupkin]

Hi, Loved the wordplay in this and the open mic quality. This is a good example of how poetry can be both simple and very effective, good job ,Sean.

[starscollide]

I think everyone at some point can relate to this. You've captured the angst well. I think if we do what is right and what is true to ourselves we'll be okay:)

[The Void One]

thank you all for your time with this, truly appreciated
starscollide - "I think if we do what is right and what is true to ourselves we'll be okay:)" - this is one of reasons for these feelings in the first place... we live a interconnected life, what is right and true to ourselves will often 'collide' with what is true and right to someone else's

[BarryC]

so impressive-deserves the spotlight

[Liquid Bear]

First and foremost congratulations on the Spotlight. I sense a lot of anger in this poem, there's certainly sadness and even a hint of resignation, but the questions which close the poem speak to me of a mind that's sick and tired of a predicament which is perceived as unbearable by the narrator. Very strong stuff, a poem I can sadly relate to.

Bear