On the coaster, with dad

[Jeff Goldman]

I’m not ready, the boy said, with a crack in his voice
First ride on the Dipper now reconsidering his choice
It’s too late, I replied, as the bar clicked on our laps
Hold on real tight, enjoy the ride and relax
When it was over, he enjoyed it I guess
Rode it several more times, really, no jest

I’m not ready came back and was stuck in my head
That little boy on the Dipper had become me instead
What inning is it? Dad asked me
The scoreboard is too far away and hard for me to see
Top of the seventh Pop I said and I turned back to James
We were talking about beers we like and they weren’t the same

But from my other ear I hear, as my mom says to me
Your Dads getting weak you better look-see
Dad’s getting weak is code words for us
Means he’s gonna pass out and attention is a must
Got this nerve in his stomach and if he doesn’t eat right
The nerve goes crazy turning day into night

This has been going on for some years now
Doctors can’ fix it or they just don’t know how
But back to the story, my Dad is passed out
In the middle of the stands there is no doubt
Got my arms around him and cradling his head
Limp as a noodle, He’s already out I said

My daughter the lifeguard is behind me at the game
My wife’s whole family is there just the same
Surreal is the only word to explain
What was going through my head that day at the game
Call 911 I heard my daughters voice say
Yes was my answer, we can’t stay here this way

An EMT came up, he was there at the game
Came to assist us, relief was on the way
I was down on my knees, holding Dads head still
His eyes at half massed, glassy and dull
Then his arms stretched out like doing a Frankenstein walk
He was reanimating again, from wherever I thought

I whispered in his ear it’s ok, it’s ok
Relax and just rest cause helps on the way
As the EMT talked shop asking questions of Dad
I surveyed the crowd accessing the situation at hand
I told them he was back from never never land
Not to worry, he’s ok, how’s the game, damn

It was the middle of the seventh and the crowd all stood up
Singing America the Beautiful, everyone but us
Then the firemen arrived and the paramedics too
And fireman McDreamy, made the young girls swoon
McDreamy and the crew started to work on Dad
He was lucid and talking, but still felling bad

Then the crowd started singing, take me out to the ballgame
My wife took care of mom; it was time to leave the frame
When the boys were done working and sure he could be moved
McDreamy picked him up by himself and carried him to the stretcher too
The crowd started to clap as they took Dad away
And Dad being Dad answered with a wave.

So a few hours in the ER and they wanted him no more
With my sisters by his side, they’ve been through this before
But that little boy inside of me says I’m not ready for this yet
I have so much to say, so many things aren’t set
But I thought about it some more and have talked to Dad since
I’ve left nothing off the table, no obligations to be met

I thought Dad died in my arms, a feeling I do not wish to repeat
Staying calm while it’s all happening, when I really want to scream
Now he’s fine with no ill effects, except his injured pride
And that smirk on his face cause he knows you think he died
A roller coaster ride I wasn’t ready for, and won’t soon forget
Another day, some more time, I’m so thankful for what I get

[JASON]

It's one of the positives that come out of illness:
leaving nothing off the table as you put it and communicating...
You really do appreciate those close to you more when you know they could go...

[allmirth]

This resonates strongly with me, as I have been helping my father, who has not been well. Roller coaster is a perfect metaphor. Touching write.

Thanks much for sharing.
Mirthy

[Alan]

So much dual imagery for me and really is an apt metaphor for life at times.

Nice to see everything's okay in the last stanza, middle two lines :) ... really is a relief that the ride has a happy ending

[Owenrich]

I cried... I literally cried. Thank you... This Helps I should say. My uncle died in front of my eyes. With nothing I could do but watch him slowly overdose on morphine. Wrote this with tears streaming out of my eyes. Thank you for this beautiful piece...

[Owenrich]

I cried... I literally cried. Thank you... This Helps I should say. My uncle died in front of my eyes. With nothing I could do but watch him slowly overdose on morphine. Wrote this with tears streaming out of my eyes. Thank you for this beautiful piece...

I should say he had bad cancer. The doctors who looked at him just a week before said he had less than three weeks. I held his damn hand and he told me, hours before he died, "stay with me buddy, I'll need a hand to hold on to."-I've never been one to cry. I walked out of that house, stepped in my car, and melted the hell down until I had no tears left in me. Then I kept crying because he was all I had left on my moms side of the family...

[jsol]

this is really an amazing poem. i am not much of a fan of rhyme schemes and rarely am able to get all the way through them, but in this one, though a few seem a little forced, they really help the story flow and i was hooked the whole way through. i would love to see this turned into a prose story. i think it would work really well. bravo!

[Josie]

You really did a good job writing about the Narrator as he had to step up to responsibility. His awareness that others could walk away, but this was his dad. He was the one to call 911, and as Narrator relates:
'I was down on my knees, holding Dads head still
His eyes at half massed, glassy and dull.'

Narrator knew his world had turned surreal when his mother spoke. it was much like the roller coaster ride:
'It’s too late, I replied, as the bar clicked on our laps
Hold on real tight, enjoy the ride and relax'

What was new about this situation was Narrator's realization that he was not ready to have his dad die. This did not fit his vision , but he realized that his dad's life could be over. It was a terrible moment. The ending was a relief and helped Narrator to rethink about his relationship to his dad.
Congratulations on TPS Spotlight.

[jsol]

i beg to differ. it was great to revisit this poem again and i thank you for bumping it up. i loved it the first time i read through it and now, reading it again, have found more, deeper meanings to enjoy. most emotions that work their way into life's tumult and then get lost can't be found again unless you go looking for them with an open mind.