Vote of Confidence (language)

[Spencer93]

I forget to stop sometimes,
And take a deep breath in,
So many things on my mind,
I don't know where to begin.
I could say I miss Greylands,
I could say I'm losing my s-----,
But you wouldn't wanna hear it,
n I think that's just it.
You'll hear your own voice all day,
Puttin' your s----- into my head,
But I tell you how I feel inside,
You'd only listen when I'm dead.
You think you know what I need,
You try n tell me what to do,
You think what you got to show,
Will make me listen to you?
You got another thing comin',
If you think I'm your game,
I'll play you back so damn hard,
I'll put your b----- a-- to shame.
You can dribble what you want,
Paint a picture with your lies,
I don't think there's anyone alive,
Who can see soul in your eyes.
You're a fake, you're not free,
And you got some kinda nerve,
But now the ball's in your court,
Go on girl, it's your serve.

[candlewitch]

hey Spencer!

this piece reminds me of my relationship with my older sister(who drives me crazy!!!) as I read this poem, I nodded my head in agreement at every line! with a verbal epithet or too, LOL! I cannot choose favorite lines as they are all excellent.

always, Cat

[dwells]

Good job here Spence, and hoping it was cathartic along the way. Welcome to TPS!
I often wonder who gives the perfect ones the advice that made them so?
Noticed the balls here were getting progressively smaller in metaphors from dribbling (basketball) to serving (tennis) - cheers for that dreaded vote of confidence!

[Dew]

I've read this one before...but it looks like my comment disappeared. Still love it! I love the attitude that it brings by the end. No lies, nothing hidden from self, all truths embraced. Now look how well I confront myself...can you do the same? I love that approach! Welcome to TPS and I hope you find a home in the sanctuary! - dew

[Jaz]

I love the way you end in that sarcastic, biting way with a regularly used phrase that people often hear and say themselves. It kind of makes me feel as though your piece is a challenge so to speak. Nicely done, thanks for sharing :)

[Mizzy]

Very strong piece of writing Spencer,
It seems you have been hen-pecked
for far too long by a control freak.

Well penned.......Mick.

[rupertpupkin]

Lovely write. Fairly belts along with venomous intent. Super poem. Well done on the spotlight