Ageless (Shakespearean sonnet)

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Royston Vasey
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Ageless (Shakespearean sonnet)

Post by Royston Vasey » August 31st, 2012, 6:09 pm

Ageless

With summer's time behind: our youth - it shines
No more; but still you sit on beauty's throne
As evidenced by right. Unlike those wines
Besmirched by loveless days, that's not your own
Unwelcome fate. It seems you hold time mute -
And so assuage its taunts - until, at last,
Its ravages are tamed, and so the brute
Becomes undone; the recollective past,
Defanged when mourned upon as wistful man
In yearning turn of mind, holds true. The rack,
As turned by God's own hand, acts as it can
On all apart from you. You hold Him back.
Your visage - when transformed into a star -
Would throw a guiding light seen from afar.



Go well.



JingleBelle
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Re: Ageless (Shakespearean sonnet)

Post by JingleBelle » August 31st, 2012, 10:34 pm

I like this, it seems an original take on the passing of time. You seem to be suggesting that the subject's beauty outshines time, which is strikingly different than the usual "Sluttish time besmears everything" response. Your language is beautiful; I really love "recollective past." Go well yourself.

Also, thank you for posting a new sonnet- I thought I was going into sonnet-remission.


Eventually, I ventured into free verse.

New Poem: For You

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songofmeadow
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Re: Ageless (Shakespearean sonnet)

Post by songofmeadow » September 1st, 2012, 12:19 am

Aah my, what a treat! I thought the whole scene perfectly set in the reader's head and re-iterated by a heady IP flow and well thought out rhyme, end and internal. The back and forth element picked up and became quite intense in the sestet so that the couplet dawned like a small miracle, much enjoyed RV, meadow


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everhopeful
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Re: Ageless (Shakespearean sonnet)

Post by everhopeful » September 1st, 2012, 7:35 am

Aptly titled as a Shakespearean sonnet, because there's more than just a hint of the Bard about this one. The conceit of the poem is a good one, but the way you've executed it is even better. The meter is flawless and the single stanza approach really throws us into the couplet, which is a wonderful summation and full stop on the poem as a whole.
Superb.



danielraythomason
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Re: Ageless (Shakespearean sonnet)

Post by danielraythomason » September 4th, 2012, 3:51 am

Stays true to the form and so much more. Each iamb is placed simply and thoroughly. A thoughtful piece with a beauteous flow. Gorgeous.


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Hem
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Re: Ageless (Shakespearean sonnet)

Post by Hem » September 8th, 2012, 1:07 am

In the softest tone, this maintains attention really well. An interesting perspective on time, purpose, mortality and legacy in my mind.


Poetry is the language in which man explores his own amazement. ~ Christopher Fry
Poetry is a deal of joy and pain and wonder, with a dash of the dictionary. ~ Kahlil Gibran

Royston Vasey
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Re: Ageless (Shakespearean sonnet)

Post by Royston Vasey » September 10th, 2012, 11:47 am

Thanks, respondents, your comments are appreciated.


Go well.



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Jahaliel
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Re: Ageless (Shakespearean sonnet)

Post by Jahaliel » September 16th, 2012, 7:32 am

There is nothing quite like a well written sonnet to stir the emotions and get me enthused about poetry.

Wonderful work, congrats on the Spotlight.


3 replies for every post

I loved you then, I love you still though we are shadows of our former glory
Though they try to kill us off, we are a never-ending story


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nortan223
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Re: Ageless (Shakespearean sonnet)

Post by nortan223 » September 16th, 2012, 9:53 am

Wonderful expressive language, which is so well suited to this sonnet form. The images of time passing and its effect are slightly veiled , as in fading memories, which makes this doubly effective.

Congratulations on a well deserved Spotlight.


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ladymaybebaby
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Re: Ageless (Shakespearean sonnet)

Post by ladymaybebaby » September 16th, 2012, 11:21 am

Lovely! First congratulations to you for a most deserved spotlight choice! I can not write a proper Shakespearean sonnet to save my life. You have done a masterful job. I am quite envious of your words and talent.

-LMB
xoxo


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My latest poem: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=42651

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Josie
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Re: Ageless (Shakespearean sonnet)

Post by Josie » September 16th, 2012, 6:19 pm

There is so much in your poem to appreciate. I like your skill with sonnets and the effort you make to keep the IP on target. This time I was especially impressed with your dexterity manipulating the lines with enjambment.


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inflames
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Re: Ageless (Shakespearean sonnet)

Post by inflames » September 17th, 2012, 12:17 pm

Wow. This is a beautiful piece of poetry. Wonderful work with this. I adore the simplicity of it, coupled with the format. Congrats on your spotlight!


"I don't see novels ending with any real sense of closure."
– Michael Ondaatje


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songofmeadow
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Re: Ageless (Shakespearean sonnet)

Post by songofmeadow » September 17th, 2012, 12:29 pm

Lovely to see this spotlighted, congratulations RV!! :happyy:


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everhopeful
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Re: Ageless (Shakespearean sonnet)

Post by everhopeful » September 19th, 2012, 1:54 pm

A pleasure to re-read this one, a superbly composed piece of poetry utilising one of my favourite forms.
Congratulations on the spotlight!



musie
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Re: Ageless (Shakespearean sonnet)

Post by musie » September 19th, 2012, 2:53 pm

A Beautifully written Sonnet that I am so glad was brought in to the Spotlight...it all flow's so smoothly and catches the reader right up in it....A pleasure to read and Congrat's! Musie


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SwingingPistol

Re: Ageless (Shakespearean sonnet)

Post by SwingingPistol » September 19th, 2012, 3:34 pm

Hi, this is definitely deserving of the Spotlight. A true masterpiece! It's quite utterly flawless and a pleasure to have read. Congrats.

SP



dornicks
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Re: Ageless (Shakespearean sonnet)

Post by dornicks » September 20th, 2012, 3:09 pm

I'm more than happy to concur with the previous comments and agree that it is deserving of the spotlight. A pleasure to read,

dornicks


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Sasha
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Re: Ageless (Shakespearean sonnet)

Post by Sasha » January 24th, 2013, 3:49 am

Classic elegant sonnet, with beautiful wording and images!
The couplet was so stunning! Well the whole sonnet shines like a star under the Spotlight, Congratulations!
I thoroughly enjoyed reading, thank you!

Sash



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