Marble My Memory

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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soldierpoet
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Marble My Memory

Post by soldierpoet » August 31st, 2012, 8:42 pm

How cunning a demon, this thing we call Fate,
In the shadow of time she coils in wait,
Adrenaline her drug, and hope is her bait
The world was mine, but she chose the date.

Like so many damned, I thought I could win
Joining the world of adventurous men,
I scoffed as I passed her shadowy den
But Fate simply snickered, and then lured me in…

“So step to the table, it’s Russian Roulette,
Pull your soul’s trigger, it’s not over yet
You’ve trained for the worst, how bad can it get?
Each fight is a chance to stake a new bet!”

Marble my memory, and stone for a name
A small patch of grass my last earthly claim;
A tale in the taverns my one bit of fame,
This hand I was dealt here in Fate’s bitter game.


"A professional makes his work play, and his play practice."

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karrie
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Re: Marble My Memory

Post by karrie » September 1st, 2012, 12:37 am

This really grabbed me. Very nice.



soldierpoet
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Re: Marble My Memory

Post by soldierpoet » September 1st, 2012, 7:32 pm

Thank you both for your reviews!


"A professional makes his work play, and his play practice."

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Chelle
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Re: Marble My Memory

Post by Chelle » October 24th, 2016, 1:38 am

well my dear this is a little gem. I know you're not used to the genre per se but you can't tell it. poor fellow got his one moment of fame for constantly taking the risk. sometimes it doesn't always pay off.


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soldierpoet
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Re: Marble My Memory

Post by soldierpoet » April 1st, 2017, 8:18 am

Thank you Chelle!


"A professional makes his work play, and his play practice."

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CrypticCricker
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Post by CrypticCricker » April 5th, 2017, 12:30 am

I am no stranger to loss...many of my friends were lost to vietnam. however, this makes it personal. I intend to work on the land till life swallows me up and I am no more. I too, shall claim a wee plot of land--my farm--and I shall nourish the land with my remains. Your poem reminded me that I shall join the ranks. I was once told that a poem should pique our interest--nourish our insights--and by doing so, succeed at being poetry. Nicely done.


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soldierpoet
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Re: Marble My Memory

Post by soldierpoet » April 12th, 2018, 8:36 am

Thank you Cryptic!


"A professional makes his work play, and his play practice."

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rupertpupkin
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Re: Marble My Memory

Post by rupertpupkin » May 21st, 2019, 3:10 pm

Lovely rhyming and a perfect flow make this so worthy of a spotlight. Well done with this poem


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soldierpoet
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Re: Marble My Memory

Post by soldierpoet » May 25th, 2019, 9:02 pm

Thank you rupertpupkin!


"A professional makes his work play, and his play practice."

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Liquid Bear
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Re: Marble My Memory

Post by Liquid Bear » May 31st, 2019, 7:14 am

A spellbinding tale of death and loss. I was hypnotized all the way through. Great job and congratulations on the Spotlight.

Bear


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deadpoet
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Re: Marble My Memory

Post by deadpoet » June 8th, 2019, 6:51 am

'Marble my memory' is such an excellent 'hook' for this lyric. Enjoyed the rhythm and bittersweet sentiment. This put me a little in mind of Rudyard Kipling - the soldier theme, the directness.



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Josie
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Re: Marble My Memory

Post by Josie » June 9th, 2019, 6:56 pm

Congratulations for the TPS Spotlight recognition. The title was well suited and the last stanza was a perfect ending. Thank you for the characterization of the soldier who had the hope to win and the willingness to take the risk with his life.


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soldierpoet
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Re: Marble My Memory

Post by soldierpoet » September 30th, 2019, 5:45 pm

Thank you guys!


"A professional makes his work play, and his play practice."

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