As Thick as Thrace

[ladylilith]

Do you remember the day we ducked
beneath that brightly azure blanket?
Tickling clams with baited, bubbling breath,
Hoping to seize a pearlescent prize.
Hoplite, I was distracted then by your secure,
Strong embrace, and I giggled when you whispered
‘Persia’, rather than quivering as I should.

Athens could have burned then, smouldering
under a different rule, I was enraptured. No pearls
were found but I wrung out a cloth made of the sea
and discovered at last what secrets could be breathed
between bodies and sand.

Stranded by choice- temples and people and polis,
So very far-fetched, that I laughed again in your face.
What would I want with a world? When I had a warrior’s
glance and fingertips. Strong, sturdy hands that pressed
into my resolve and made me forget my pious, pitiful hymn.

The windy walk back from the beachcomber’s cove
had slapped the water from my eyes, whisking it away
so when you looked at me you saw nothing staining my face.
Goodbye had never been so expected, but whispered on the cliff
top, I wondered if that same sand, where bodies had crushed,
Would feel the same if I met it from a gull’s height.

~~~

*This was going to be a short story, but it ended up like this instead...

[tangerinepie]

Poem or short story..a marvelous cascade of imagery and romance that held me.Something memorable with so much to absorb..The details simply engrossing...Superb...T...

[everhopeful]

Without wishing to dispute your board choice (or threaten to move it to songwriter's!) I see this as the proverbial board crossing poem, and I also see how this had the potential to be a short story too. What is most beautiful is how many different elements of the story you've been able to convey. There's an element of romance which appeals to me because of the sense of adventure within which feels innocent and whimsical, like the whole world is within the subject's grasp. I particularly enjoyed the shift in the third stanza away from that exploration and focused more on the 'warrior's' qualities, before an ending with a hint of tragedy to follow.
So much depth to this, and a much enjoyed venture into fantasy for me :)

[moe]

I liked this--- as far as it went.... However it just left me there in mid-air, hanging----
The descriptions used are beautiful I pictured the scences presented as clearly as if I were there watching.

[Darkvassal]

Shock, awe and beauty in equal measure...like

[QuietAstronomer]

Sweet Lilz, you created a masterpiece.
Such a wonderful tale and such fantastic construct and content.

Found it filled with a subtle sadness for loss and yet uplifting by the strength of the narrator's telling of the tale.

Two snaps!!!

QA

[queenjellybean]

I was simply mesmerized by this incredible piece. I love the sounds in this, created through the great alliteration and the "s" sound throughout the poem. The voice of the speaker is natural-sounding, adding a nice connective element. Exceptional work, and congrats on the spotlight!

[karrie]

I found myself falling into this and being totally swept away. Congrats on the spotlight.

[ladymaybebaby]

Oh my Lilypad! In all honesty, this is my favorite piece from you ever! It whispers of Plath or Sexton but screams out beauty and grace with you distinct and beautiful style. This is a gorgeous piece of poetry girl. Most definitely to be bookmarked and savored like a gift...

Congratulations on the spotlight choice, but thank you for this stunning piece.

-Robin
xoxo

You have set the bar quite high my dear!!!

[Lonnie]

Beautifully written and a true pleasure to read! One can literally feel the passion that went into this!

[E.S.]

Written with the elegance that withers all hatred away.

[musie]

I have to agree with what Mick said about the depth of which this was written...jam packed with stunning imagery...and a tale that truly is enthralling in the reading...capturing both a haunting quality as well as the romance. I think this is one of your best. I am so glad that it was brought into the Spotlight! Most deserving..CONGRAT'S! Musie

[everhopeful]

This is such a beautiful poem; while I'd be hard pushed to pick a favourite from your pen, this would definitely rank highly among them. I think you've managed to bring the depth of a short story to it, with a poet's eye for imagery, and a most deserving spotlight. Congratulations!

[Royston Vasey]

Hi ladylilith,

This has the feel of a Sword and Sandals-type epic about it, well they have made such films about Ancient Greece. I enjoyed your poem.

Thanks for the read.


Go well.

[Sasha]

Oh, Lilz!! This is utterly beautiful! One of many favorites from you. The romantic sentiments, engaging thoughts, all were beautifully captured here, so glad to read this under the Spotlight. Congrats Sis!

Sash -x-

[Dew]

Okay, here we go!

"pearlescent prize" was a treat! I loved that one!

"pressed into my resolve and made me forget my pious, pitiful hymn"...there are too many nice things I could say about this line, but I think it wraps it all up by admitting: I swooned!

The stanza development was appealing...first innocence, then passion, then lust, then wonder...and with that hint of what else might come.

This must be my favorite write of yours now...wisely selected here for its worth, but hardly enough to truly communicate how clever and well written it is! Wowzer!

Dew

[Insolentmanx]

Absolutely wonderful Ladylilith, an absolute joy to read.

manx

[Insolentmanx]

I liked the imagery in his piece, I could see it in color.
nice write....manx