On the doorstep of paradise

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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haymanali
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On the doorstep of paradise

Post by haymanali » April 27th, 2012, 4:53 am

Hesitantly entwine
twin hands and eyes
and softly awaken
a timid warmth
and hidden
feelings

soulmates
on the doorstep
of paradise



Coapachy

Re: On the doorstep of paradise

Post by Coapachy » April 27th, 2012, 5:16 am

Hi. Wonderful minimalism my friend. Whether in a long-standing or newly blossomed relationship, it is those unspoken moments that we feel, remember, ones that make us feel so very happy. The innocence of your piece suggests the latter, the tad of awkwardness and the knowledge from both that something special is happening; I thought the opening was just perfect.

I really liked this, will come back for another read, always best with such noteworthy minimal pieces.

Respect
Dave



musie
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise

Post by musie » April 27th, 2012, 8:21 am

Hi! Loved the Title of this and felt the tenderness with which it was written...so much said in so few word's.....Truly enjoyed this piece from your pen.....Musie


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everhopeful
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise

Post by everhopeful » April 27th, 2012, 1:45 pm

Excellent writing - when something uses quiet words and still makes a big noise you know that their word selection is superb. This might be a relatively short poem but it tells a thorough, engrossing story and paints a vivid picture of a moment worth framing.
Really impressed with this one.



SketchyQuick
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise

Post by SketchyQuick » April 27th, 2012, 10:13 pm

I really like the way you write, like a chaste kiss the way you say something so quick and simple in such a wonderful way. :)



freepreacher
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise

Post by freepreacher » April 27th, 2012, 11:22 pm

paradise luv
whispers
can't you see?
simple sweetness
is in birdsong
beaks follow
the poetry line
in the skies


She told me to live.
Speak of the lonely.
Time is an invitation.

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Pro
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise

Post by Pro » April 28th, 2012, 2:03 am

Very gentle write Hay.


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Whiskurz
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise

Post by Whiskurz » April 28th, 2012, 3:40 am

So much said in so little words.....Great write......Whisk



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Thank you for your comments!


haymanali
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise

Post by haymanali » April 28th, 2012, 6:04 pm

Thanks a lot everyone.

:smile: :wave:



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Jahaliel
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise

Post by Jahaliel » May 13th, 2012, 6:35 am

I'm glad I got the chance to read this, so soft and gentle and tender. I love the minimalist approach here, you created a lot with a little, a real skill! Congrats on the spotlight.


3 replies for every post

I loved you then, I love you still though we are shadows of our former glory
Though they try to kill us off, we are a never-ending story


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flux
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise

Post by flux » May 13th, 2012, 7:05 am

This is an elegant poem, in very few words you tell us that there is nothing complicated about love, and little can rival its power.


Make fellow poets happy and comment on their poems.



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everhopeful
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise

Post by everhopeful » May 13th, 2012, 7:35 am

I enjoyed re-reading this one, it's an excellent piece of poetry.
Congratulations on the Spotlight!



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songofmeadow
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise

Post by songofmeadow » May 13th, 2012, 10:57 am

Your poem opened like a flower for me, everything that is gentle and perfect, beautiful, meadow


Remember, 3 replies for every poem you post!!


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musie
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise

Post by musie » May 13th, 2012, 11:15 am

I LOVED this piece! Congratulation's on the Spotlight! So very deserving..... :thumb: Musie


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Dead Rebel
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise

Post by Dead Rebel » May 13th, 2012, 11:48 am

paradise in the form of another person. congrats on the spotlight


Confidence is a state of mind where one is willing to abandon self-preservation in order to achieve their goals

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We're all too obsessed with our own misery and experience that it trumps all others


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Supermoon
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise

Post by Supermoon » May 13th, 2012, 12:47 pm

It's great to see something so beautifully simple being rewarded with such high praise! All so well-deserved.



inflames
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise

Post by inflames » May 14th, 2012, 12:19 pm

This is wonderfully simple, with such a sweet emotion. Congrats on the spotlight.


"I don't see novels ending with any real sense of closure."
– Michael Ondaatje


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karrie
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise

Post by karrie » May 15th, 2012, 3:03 am

Such a beautiful write! Much enjoyed reading. Congrats on the spotlight!



ladymaybebaby
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise

Post by ladymaybebaby » May 15th, 2012, 4:18 pm

Another lovely choice for the spotlight. A charming piece of work you have penned here. Thanks for the smile and the wonderful read, congrats!!! -LMB xoxo


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Chels
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise

Post by Chels » May 16th, 2012, 3:44 pm

A well chosen piece for the Spotlight. The calm atmosphere of this reflects the love and emotion in this write. The simplest moments are the ones that touch our heart. Beautiful work and congrats!



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