Mother

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
Post Reply
User avatar
Pro
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts: 407
Joined: April 19th, 2012, 4:42 pm
Location: New York

Mother

Post by Pro » April 28th, 2012, 3:05 am

I am
Because of you.

I made you laugh as an infant.
I made you crazy as a teenager.
I made you cry during my 20's.
I made you lonely during my 30's.
I surprised you in my 40's.
I sat with you in my 50's.

Mother

I know you can hear me.
I am here with you
By your side.
I love you.
Breathe your last breath
While I hold your hand.

(Like I pointed out in the original post of this piece - I am not in my 40's or 50's)


DANGER!!! Do Not Click Here

User avatar
Jahaliel
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts: 1993
Joined: April 14th, 2012, 6:53 pm
Location: A'divell

Re: Mother

Post by Jahaliel » April 28th, 2012, 6:50 am

Something very sweet about this, made me think about watching my dad sit with his mum who had alzheimers. Simple and beautiful Pro. xx


3 replies for every post

I loved you then, I love you still though we are shadows of our former glory
Though they try to kill us off, we are a never-ending story


Image

queenjellybean
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts: 628
Joined: April 14th, 2012, 12:55 am

Re: Mother

Post by queenjellybean » April 28th, 2012, 9:13 pm

The repetition added a deliberateness to your words and message. The form of this, with the word "Mother" alone as a stanza of its own stresses the weight of your words. I liked this sweet piece.



Mizuchi
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts: 180
Joined: April 18th, 2012, 9:53 am

Re: Mother

Post by Mizuchi » May 1st, 2012, 3:13 pm

I like that second stanza, very creative and at the same time recognizable. The ending was sad and somewhat of a mood whiplash, but it's overall a very touching poem.



Whiskurz
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts: 1863
Joined: April 18th, 2012, 7:14 am
Location: Hiding from my Mother-In-Law

Re: Mother

Post by Whiskurz » May 3rd, 2012, 2:31 pm

I really enjoyed this my friend.....Whisk



Whether a Gift or a Curse, We Write!

Image

Thank you for your comments!


User avatar
Jovel320
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts: 2124
Joined: March 24th, 2013, 9:04 pm
Location: Spellbound by the riches of life and the infinite wisdom of nature

Re: Mother

Post by Jovel320 » January 3rd, 2015, 5:10 pm

Great sentiment and something we can all identify with. I know some of us made our mother's go through more than others, but overall we all have our faults. I love the way you brought this around to siting and holding mother's hand. She probably did the same countless of times and in a way is a sort of repayment for that. A very insightful and tender piece. Thanks for sharing!!!
Jovel



Valentine
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts: 1255
Joined: October 29th, 2012, 8:48 pm

Re: Mother

Post by Valentine » January 6th, 2015, 8:40 pm

I sat with my mom when she nearly died with cancer. She fooled everyone by living another 20 years.
Yet I would do it all again just to see her face. valentine



User avatar
Ladywildalice
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts: 4572
Joined: April 18th, 2012, 5:22 pm
Location: Wichita, Kansas

Re: Mother

Post by Ladywildalice » January 9th, 2015, 5:57 pm

A poet does not necessarily have to be or experience the words he/she writes. It is the talent of that writer that gives life, body, and senses to what is written, so it seems to be a very personal experience. In that way, we can all connect to it. You are an exceptional writer and I always enjoy your work. This was lovely, tender, touching and enviable.


'Where ecstasy leaves gravity and dances with wild eyes' by Ladywildalice

Image

User avatar
Mr D
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts: 1357
Joined: May 25th, 2012, 9:31 am
Location: Darkness is my home, Darkness is my own, I am It
Contact:

Re: Mother

Post by Mr D » January 9th, 2015, 9:41 pm

Great write. Minimalistic I could say. Very evocative.


Darkness is the canvas, light is the paint
I dont mind if you guys just read without commenting my stuff :)

rupertpupkin
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3342
Joined: April 19th, 2012, 10:03 am

Re: Mother

Post by rupertpupkin » February 10th, 2020, 6:51 am

Lovely write. I miss your unique style and I miss your wonderful poetry. Well done on a very worthy spotlight


ImageImage

Post Reply