A Lover's Anticipation *Mature*

[GlobeTrotterMax]

Where are you now, my darling?
I cannot wait to have you in my sight

Recalling how you betrayed me
But I have made peace with your wrongs
Even though you have played me
You knew I’d take you back, with open arms

It’s been so long since I’ve seen you last
I cannot wait to have you on your back
I long to extract the tension that is building
When we engage in this unspeakable act

There you are my love
I thought that you had been hiding from me
Come closer to me now
I thought that I lost you, but now you are found

I am focused on the sight of your sultry skin
Licking my lips at the anticipation of the oncoming sin
That I am about to take part in, my love

You look so precious tonight, my darling
At long last you are in my sight
With a pull of the trigger, my rifle whispers for me
“So long, I love you, and good night”

[Kornelia]

A poem that has a good word flow, the end is a theme that many have pondered on, maybe the poem could be a bit more "overdone", meaning the anger part, it reads more like a love poem. Nicely done!
Kornelia

[ladymaybebaby]

That last line is not giving me a love poem vibe at all! This is a well orchestrated piece of poetry Max... you were in total control from the start, leading the reader one way with your words until the bitter end with that turn! This is good stuff here! Much enjoyed and well done... loved it!

-LMB
xoxo

[oortcloudtwo]

I enjoy twist endings, especially when they don't dole out any hints along the way. I was expecting the theme to end in adultery, especially given the references to sin, but I was--ahem--dead wrong. While I can see how this poem may have worked better in The Darkness, I think that the narrator's understated, bottled up emotions culminating in a sudden, violent explosion is probably one of the more genuine depictions of (especially male) anger.

[everhopeful]

You'll have to add me to the club who are firmly of the understanding that this didn't read like a love poem! All it took to change the context of everything was the penultimate line and it made the re-read even sweeter because that was a chance to see how skilful the double meanings were. Admittedly, without the board choice, it would have seemed like a thoroughly heartwarming romantic story until you brought out the rifle!
Quality stuff, I love underplayed anger writing :)

[the quiet poet]

haha nice! I automatically thought of a riffle scope when you wrote I cannot wait to have you in my sight in the second line I guess I was right pretty awesome poem. found it on your poet file. I know how you feel, I've been in your position before.

[tangerinepie]

Yes, this started with the thrill of anticipation, then the departure into the true scenario.Love driven to madness it seems.Well written poem with subtle anger building, and this adds a lot of depth to the overall theme..Good Work..Tangie..

[palehorse]

It’s been so long since I’ve seen you last
I cannot wait to have you on your back
I long to extract the tension that is building
When we engage in this unspeakable act

Have I ever called you the Devil? Has anyone else? This work is laden with symbolism and truth. You're frank, and ambigious. And yet you're always raw. It's good to read you again.

Especially with stanzas like the one above.

[Areyaen]

Very well thought and written friend... to me it reads as both anger and as the heart, and probably would fit in either room equally, still determining if your on top of a building or in the bedroom with that rifle as a metaphor, the double meanings are littered throughout the piece, applause for making me read it aloud

[karrie]

I love reading poems that surprise, that begins one way and ends another way, that leads me to a place I never thought I would go. This is such a well thought out write and quite captivating. Congratulations on the Spotlight!

[Pennit]

I think the wording is cleverly used to hint that all is not quite what it seems in the opening stanzas. I felt uneasy, as I feel I was meant to, at words like "betrayal". The ending therefore seemed somehow half expected - good writing :)

[Windsend]

I was like, 'Wow', when I got to the last stanza. What a build up to draw upon. Invoking a reaction like that, with words, is hard to do. Congratz on the spotlight. Well deserved.

[WriterMinuit]

Yeah I agree with what the first comment said. This poem of an encounter of an obvious nature...yet crafted like a love poem that really, for me, coupled the physical element of lovemaking with the emotional symbolism. Absolutely beautiful flow between the stanzas- a skill of which I'm envious since I find that a struggle myself. Thank you for this wonderful piece-- it is worthy of its place in our Hall of Fame and beyond!