What Have We Done?

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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Ladywildalice
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What Have We Done?

Post by Ladywildalice » June 3rd, 2013, 3:35 pm

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We lost Spring
somewhere a while ago
she melted into Ozone and
fog, her lovely green drowned
in killer rains, burnt by
scourging fires, lost within
memories of bird-song and
Daffodils, mild dawns and
golden sunsets.

Summer still fights to
bless our ways, though she
weakens and runs to hide
giving up her lushness to
drought and burning rays
feigning disinterest in
glorifying mid-year days.

Fall rushes in to save us
to try to fill the void that Spring
and Summer left behind. But
the winds blow warnings that
Winter is Coming, and soon
all will freeze in ice and
frigid depthless snow.

What have we done to this,
our glorious orb, our spinning
home, to deserve the hoarfrost
and wolf-cries that fill the
night’s ice-misted skies, and
disrupts our dreams, our needs of
Spring?


'Where ecstasy leaves gravity and dances with wild eyes' by Ladywildalice

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ladylilith
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Re: What Have We Done?

Post by ladylilith » June 4th, 2013, 2:19 pm

I can't believe this has no comments yet! I read this yesterday on my phone and couldn't wait to work my way back here to leave my thoughts. Firstly, for an OM, this has an enviable poise and grace in the way this is composed. An eloquent and extremely readable piece. I wasn't sure, form the title, if this was going to get preachy, but nay, it does not. Everything is said in a reasonable and imploring tone and I was totally won over. We're parasite, us humans, and we will use our planet until it gives up on us.

I'm really diggin' this. A clear, well put together piece. And the phrasing is impressive too, I love the way you show the reader rather than 'tell'.

Great, great work. Thank you so much for sharing it!

Lily^^


"The night is dark and full of terrors."

Sasha
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Re: What Have We Done?

Post by Sasha » June 4th, 2013, 5:11 pm

Ah, I'm a huge fan when it comes to the imagery of your work. I love how you created a balance between the sweetness of seasonal images, and the saddening reality, and how you made the seasons tell on their strife to come back to our lives, when we were pushing them away, and man, how much I love the imagery here!
The ending was like a slap and wake-up call, that's much needed.
Great OM, Sue!

Sash



moe
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Re: What Have We Done?

Post by moe » June 4th, 2013, 7:09 pm

Fall rushes in to save us
to try to fill the void that Spring
and Summer left behind. But
the winds blow warnings that
Winter is Coming, and soon
all will freeze in ice and
frigid depthless snow.

I can hardly wait for fall
as summer is my least favorite season



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Raven (ARGD)
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Re: What Have We Done?

Post by Raven (ARGD) » June 5th, 2013, 12:43 pm

There's a lot to love about this poem. Most of all, I love your imagery in this piece. It's so vivid! There's a really interesting contrast there too, between the beautiful, colorful imagery and the sort of darker tone to what the poem's really saying. I mean, the way that you have the first stanza describing loss and drowning and killing, and somehow, it's gorgeous. I found that pretty fascinating. I also think your word choice is fantastic, especially for an OM. The last stanza was my favorite. Your descriptions are so perfectly fitting. Impressive work!


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flux
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Re: What Have We Done?

Post by flux » June 8th, 2013, 5:24 am

This has a fantastic edge to it, like a myth or a legend. The language used made me think that this could be the introduction to some epic tale. It left me wondering, my imagination stirs.


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dwells
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Re: What Have We Done?

Post by dwells » November 24th, 2013, 5:10 pm

We just got older and more cynical perhaps - wonderfully understated Sue, cheers!


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knpoet
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Re: What Have We Done?

Post by knpoet » November 26th, 2013, 8:22 am

Beautiful imagery here, Ladywildalice, the joys of the seasons tainted by the ongoing damage humanity always seems to bring with it, wherever our species goes and whatever we do. Indeed, what have we done to our world that the seasons are so tortured, our beautiful green and blue planet lost in the browns and blacks of careless abuse! Excellent work here and most deserving of the Spotlight, Ladywildalice; well done, dear!

Kathy


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TheManInTheSuit
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Re: What Have We Done?

Post by TheManInTheSuit » November 27th, 2013, 10:31 am

Well geez not much to say after all those comments. But I definitely agree, the imagery is capturing and captivating, it is very easy to see the picture you painted. What I really like about the poem (plus I don't think its been said yet) is the title and the rhetoric "what have we done" in the fourth stanza. That is the one part of the poem we get to fill in a way that is uniquely us. Everyone will have a different response to that question, so we can all get that beautiful imagery yet have the poem mean something close to us. Excellent work as always


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Re: What Have We Done?

Post by everhopeful » November 28th, 2013, 2:01 pm

This is the kind of provocative poetry which begs for an answer rather than a comment, even though the descriptions show that the speaker knows full well what we have done, and how we can't put a price on what we're losing. I love it when a poem fires me up enough to want to go on a rant about the subject matter! In this case I won't rant, I'll just add my admiration for the imagery as well as the skilful ordering of thoughts and logic based around the 'missing' season.
Congratulations on the spotlight!



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Larsen M. Callirhoe
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Re: What Have We Done?

Post by Larsen M. Callirhoe » November 28th, 2013, 4:13 pm

Wow Sue you outdid yourself with superb writing as per usual with your writes as if ever y lady friend. The imagery is riveting and ever so captivating. I have read this a few times and just go wow with the amazing imagery that only you can deliver so beautifully yet so sadly. Since this was originally posted in the OM board all I can say is again you outdid yourself. Really enjoyed... Plus this most definitely deserves the spotlight to showcase this. Outstanding.. and exalt...

victor


Victor Mike Lash~
Larsen M. Callirhoe~


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Ladywildalice
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Re: What Have We Done?

Post by Ladywildalice » December 2nd, 2013, 8:56 am

Thank you for the time shared with this work and the lovely words of comment. It is such a blessing to be amongst all of your amazing talented selves and you gift me with your visits. Thanks again.


'Where ecstasy leaves gravity and dances with wild eyes' by Ladywildalice

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