Candle Blade

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Zojourn
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Candle Blade

Post by Zojourn » September 19th, 2013, 3:55 am

Candle Blade

A pirouette of light and shade
Personified your elegance…tantalizing the masses
Like an enigma dancing upon the flickering candle blade
You thwarted every Maiden and their reverberating lashes

Oh…how your divine touch of beauty prevailed
Every quill…ink-slipped upon their score
As mine scribed upon my heart…every lasting detail
And harnessed them within my core

The rapture upon essence and the flow of your dress
Emulated the capture of a heart in duress
Taking on conjecture and its theory to suggest
I disregarded the lecture and wholeheartedly submitted to test

Amid the commotion and the distance I had to part
Cruising through the up-coming studs and the warily content
I never lost sight of you; the Woman who held my heart
And although I may have tripped, I landed at your feet upon my descent

Assuredly I stood, composed, I ventured for your hand to dance
With surprising acceptance, I twirled you out of the abyss
Onto the stargazing ambiance of electrifying romance
And true love’s ultimate first kiss

Our internal Magick flourished upon the scene
Enveloping as a kernel with an indestructible spleen
Discovering an eternal measure of the serene
Never forgetting that infernal hurdle toward our unsanctified dream

~ Alonzo Sherrell
Last edited by Zojourn on September 23rd, 2013, 12:18 am, edited 3 times in total.


"People laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at them because they're all the same." ~Curt Cobain
"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who i am not." ~Curt Cobain
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allmirth
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Re: Candle Blade

Post by allmirth » September 19th, 2013, 8:45 pm

The title is wonderfully evocative. I liked the imagery and the rhyme of this. Much enjoyed.

Thanks for sharing.
Mirthy :lovey:


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candlewitch
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Re: Candle Blade

Post by candlewitch » September 20th, 2013, 12:07 pm

hello,

"wonderful" as Mirthy said! Being romantic at heart, I ate this up! I love a good love poem. What makes it good is that it isn't syrupy sweet or gushy! Loved these lines:

Assuredly I stood, composed, I ventured for your hand to dance
With surprising acceptance, I twirled you out of the abyss
Onto the stargazing ambiance of electrifying romance
And true love’s ultimate first kiss

always, Cat


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karrie
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Re: Candle Blade

Post by karrie » September 20th, 2013, 2:35 pm

I very much enjoyed reading this! Lovely write!



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Ladywildalice
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Re: Candle Blade

Post by Ladywildalice » September 20th, 2013, 5:43 pm

I must add my "Yes" to this one as well, Exceptional and much enjoyed. Thank you


'Where ecstasy leaves gravity and dances with wild eyes' by Ladywildalice

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dwells
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Re: Candle Blade

Post by dwells » September 20th, 2013, 8:24 pm

Descent is the word I believe in the 4th stanza, but maybe not? Very much enjoyed the imagery here and may your dream become sanctified, cheers!


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Zojourn
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Re: Candle Blade

Post by Zojourn » September 23rd, 2013, 12:25 am

Thank you Mirthy, Cat, karrie, Lwa, and dwells for your generous comments and poetic support. It is much appreciated...and yes I did mean "descent" in the fourth stanza, thank you for pointing that out dwells. :smile:

~ Z


"People laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at them because they're all the same." ~Curt Cobain
"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who i am not." ~Curt Cobain
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Eggy
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Re: Candle Blade

Post by Eggy » September 29th, 2013, 9:50 pm

Well done.

Words are the tools of the writer and you use them skilfully. This was an impressive piece. Love to see more of your work.



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songofmeadow
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Re: Candle Blade

Post by songofmeadow » September 30th, 2013, 1:32 am

An atmospheric and delightful poem, congratulations on the spotlight mx


Remember, 3 replies for every poem you post!!


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Dew
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Re: Candle Blade

Post by Dew » September 30th, 2013, 7:47 am

Agree with all above...a magical effect on the reader! Something classic and comforting and something new and whimsical all at once! Great one for the spotlight! - dew



dornicks
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Re: Candle Blade

Post by dornicks » September 30th, 2013, 3:30 pm

Go to the top of the class ! This read so well and had a story to match. Deserving of the Spotlight,

dornicks


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rupertpupkin
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Re: Candle Blade

Post by rupertpupkin » October 1st, 2013, 3:49 pm

Hi, great piece of writing, which I enjoyed immensely. Well done on the spotlight, Sean.


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inflames
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Re: Candle Blade

Post by inflames » October 2nd, 2013, 12:09 pm

Wow. The language in this is incredible. Congrats on a well deserved spotlight! :)


"I don't see novels ending with any real sense of closure."
– Michael Ondaatje


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allmirth
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Re: Candle Blade

Post by allmirth » October 2nd, 2013, 10:07 pm

Still wonderful. It gets better with every reading. So pleased to find this in the Spotlight!

Thanks much for sharing.
Mirthy :lovey:


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Zojourn
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Re: Candle Blade

Post by Zojourn » October 6th, 2013, 3:41 am

Thank you Eggy, som, Dew, dornicks, rp, inflames and Mirthy for your additional support. All of your comments meant the world to me.

~Z


"People laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at them because they're all the same." ~Curt Cobain
"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who i am not." ~Curt Cobain
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