Please Make My Sun Rise

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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interyeti
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Please Make My Sun Rise

Post by interyeti » November 18th, 2013, 12:11 pm

Never asked how you were on that winter day, it’s true you stopped and you stared
Never thought I’d see you in my mind one day, though, I knew you wouldn’t have dared

Ah, more than ever now I look outside, and breathe the air I now know you hold in your hand
Ah, more than ever now I twist around now that my soul is scattered through a wasteland

Alright, alright, tell me what you had to say, it had to do with heaven and stars and skies
But in this wasteland one thing remains so clear, one thing is certain: you’ll make my sun rise

Hold on, hold on
Don’t just walk away now, tables may have turned now, but don’t you remember me
Hold on, hold on
Now I can’t escape you, give me what I gave you, but don’t be the one to leave

You said you’d take me to the sky (you make my sun rise)
You never thought to tell me why? (you make my sun rise)
Oh, I need some kind of answer (you make my sun rise)
Oh, can you come any faster to my side?

Please make my sun rise, I promise I’ll love you
Please make my sun rise, I’ll never leave your side
Please make my sun rise, I won’t just come with you
Please make my sun rise, I’ll help you slay the sky
(2x)

Never returned your stare on that winter day, just brushed blue snow off my face
Never thought I’d want that blue snow back one day, if just for memory’s sake

Ah, more than ever now I march along, I’m never stopping till you pull me out of this trance
Ah, more than all things I tarried for, now I scour your heart for a new chance

Alright, alright, tell me what you had to say, it had to do with heaven and stars and skies
But in this wasteland one thing remains so clear, one thing is certain: you’ll make my sun rise

Hold on, hold on
Don’t just walk away now, tables may have turned now, but don’t you remember me
Hold on, hold on
Now I can’t escape you, give me what I gave you, but don’t be the one to leave

You said you’d take me to the sky (please make my sun rise)
You never thought to tell me why? (please make my sun rise)
Oh, I need some kind of answer (please make my sun rise)
Oh, can you come any faster to my side?

Hold on, hold on
Don’t just walk away now, tables may have turned now, but don’t you remember me
Hold on, hold on
Now I can’t escape you, give me what I gave you, but don’t be the one to leave



Sasha
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Re: Please Make My Sun Rise

Post by Sasha » November 18th, 2013, 4:24 pm

Oh the first line reminds me of Enrique Iglesias's "Heart Attack", that aside, I thought this was well-composed song, and it really tells an engaging narrative, and I think the idea of "tables may have turned now" is very fitting to the story, and to the effect on him/her. The pleading voice here is really touching, and I love the thought of 'make my sun rise'.
Lovely, well penned song!

Sash



everhopeful
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Re: Please Make My Sun Rise

Post by everhopeful » December 12th, 2013, 2:50 pm

I really like how you used the slightly modified repetition between your bridge and the rousing chorus, especially as it seemed like such a key part of the story depicted by your song. There's a depth of description to this which makes for a strong narrative voice and emotive ballad-style song.



Heartcrusher
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Re: Please Make My Sun Rise

Post by Heartcrusher » December 13th, 2013, 7:08 am

what a long song :) I read it, it is great... I would like to hear it, but I can imagine a melody while Im reading this.. good job!


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interyeti
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Re: Please Make My Sun Rise

Post by interyeti » January 5th, 2014, 1:40 am

I would like to hear the melody you imagine for these lyrics :)



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Josie
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Re: Please Make My Sun Rise

Post by Josie » April 9th, 2015, 10:03 pm

How wonderful that Poet Sanctuary can be here to encourage song writers. The repetition and the feeling that this love was experienced made it a stand out in my mind. Congratulations!


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