Deep Forest, Close to Village

[Hazel Alder]

The deep forest
thick and moist
not far from home
not far ahead
Bubbling foam
from a brook
so, back I look
on the path I took
knowing of no return.

The canopy was heavy
like a roof of great shelter
displaying broken rays of light
before the dawn of night.
Upon remembrance
I kneel to pray
but, noticing large movement
across the way
I take cover

Hidden behind a boulder
I look over
and through some brush
paces a faun
anxious and old
wielding not
weapon nor staff

it speaks to me:
"I see you, Son of Man
behind that boulder
with senses heightened
fear me not
don't be frightened.
truly, I'm not lying.
there's no need for spying"

I show myself
he moves slow, yet quick
with irregular pace
he crosses the way
and soon, we're face to face

he speaks:
"Son of Man
I've been waiting
yes, indeed
I always am waiting
and am so very delighted
of your sudden arrival.
now begins your trial."

his foul breath
hinted a diet of death
while his deep dark eyes
emanated the darkest of lies

he smiles wide


now grasping the handle of village blade
now wishing I would've stayed

[QuietAstronomer]

Nicely done.
Smooth flow and nice tale.
Again, more the feel of the Old Ones.
Well writ.


QA

[Chelle]

I like the menacing quality to it. Back in the day faeries and fauna were usually mischievous creatures that did harm. This captures that.

[LorettaYoung]

Enjoyed the flow and rhythm; the repetition of "son of man"

[AoR]

This has a great mischievous and creepy feel. I love the transition between scenes, the first two stanzas showing the man, the third hiding and the following one of curiosity overtaking better judgment and that closing sentiment is chilling and eerie. Fantastic narration!

[TheDamsel]

I like the theme and the flow of this. Well penned!

[potentialpoet]

Very interesting, and it immediately reminded me of a poem by Robert Frost called "The Demiurges's Laugh."

It was far in the sameness of the wood;
I was running with joy on the Demon’s trail,
Though I knew what I hunted was no true god.
It was just as the light was beginning to fail
That I suddenly heard—all I needed to hear:
It has lasted me many and many a year.

The sound was behind me instead of before,
A sleepy sound, but mocking half,
As of one who utterly couldn’t care.
The Demon arose from his wallow to laugh,
Brushing the dirt from his eye as he went;
And well I knew what the Demon meant.

I shall not forget how his laugh rang out.
I felt as a fool to have been so caught,
And checked my steps to make pretence
It was something among the leaves I sought
(Though doubtful whether he stayed to see).
Thereafter I sat me against a tree.

[dornicks]

An enjoyable read,wish there was more,and deserving of the Spotlight. Congratulations,

dornicks