Dead Mountaineer

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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Stepshed
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Dead Mountaineer

Post by Stepshed » May 20th, 2012, 1:16 pm

Solitude
moulds the man.

You came here
searching for immensity. All men
struggle with smallness, few
ever stop,
to look at what they are fighting.

Listen,
can you hear the mountain
change shape?

Solitary stones move
season
by season
down
to collect in stillness
under the sky.

Did you cry when the rock
let go? Did you fight against the fall?

You came here searching
for immensity
and found
that the true measure of man
and greatness
is not what we climb

but how we fall.


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inflames
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Re: Dead Mountaineer

Post by inflames » May 20th, 2012, 2:09 pm

Hi, this is a wonderful poem. I love the phrasing and the idea behind this. I do think it's better suited to the enlightened, I shall move it there for you. Well done!


"I don't see novels ending with any real sense of closure."
– Michael Ondaatje


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Aceburg
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Re: Dead Mountaineer

Post by Aceburg » May 20th, 2012, 3:52 pm

Hello,I liked this...a great piece...thanks for sharing...

Ace~


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Today followed yesterday
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chowzrus
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Re: Dead Mountaineer

Post by chowzrus » May 20th, 2012, 5:04 pm

SS - good write - looking forward to more - Bill



Stepshed
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Re: Dead Mountaineer

Post by Stepshed » May 21st, 2012, 5:39 am

Thanks for the comments - and thanks for moving it Inflames - I was not sure where to put it so that helped
Thanks Aceburg and chowzrus for the comments - much appreciated


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Antony Mark
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Re: Dead Mountaineer

Post by Antony Mark » May 27th, 2012, 4:41 am

This is very very good! So very true...yes do post more for us!



Dew
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Re: Dead Mountaineer

Post by Dew » May 27th, 2012, 7:17 am

Very well penned...truly deserving of some spotlight! Congrats! A very true moral and cleverly conveyed...beautiful! - Dew



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Jahaliel
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Re: Dead Mountaineer

Post by Jahaliel » May 27th, 2012, 8:58 am

I really liked this, vast and pwerful with a strong message well phrased. Congrats on the Spotlight.


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ladymaybebaby
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Re: Dead Mountaineer

Post by ladymaybebaby » May 27th, 2012, 12:40 pm

Oh how I love this write. I am sorry to say I missed this gem before, but am so very glad I found it shining here in the glow of the spotlight. Congratulations on your turn under the bright light and what a great piece of poetry. A most deserving choice! Thanks for a great read! -LMB xoox


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knpoet
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Re: Dead Mountaineer

Post by knpoet » May 27th, 2012, 4:25 pm

This was an extraordinary piece of writing, quite brilliant in fact. I'm glad the TPS powers-that-be recognized the fact and brought this exceptional poem into the spotlight, where it belongs. Congratulations!
Kathy


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Whiskurz
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Re: Dead Mountaineer

Post by Whiskurz » May 27th, 2012, 5:53 pm

Definitely one of the best I've read in the spotlight.....Congrats my friend.....Whisk



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Thank you for your comments!


Stepshed
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Re: Dead Mountaineer

Post by Stepshed » May 28th, 2012, 7:00 am

Thank you all VERY much for your comments and thank you for putting it into spotlight - I am really happy - thanks again :happyy:


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karrie
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Re: Dead Mountaineer

Post by karrie » May 28th, 2012, 8:55 am

This is absolutely wonderful! Much enjoyed reading. Congrats on the spotlight!



trell11
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Re: Dead Mountaineer

Post by trell11 » May 28th, 2012, 10:55 am

.Wow! This flowed very nicely. I love the last line "is not what we climb but how we fall." I can see so many metaphors in this poem, life being the mountain, falling death, climbing to struggle, and changing shape is changing life and if you don't change with the mountain you die. I can see why this poem is here. You earned it. Thank you for sharing. I am inspired


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everhopeful
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Re: Dead Mountaineer

Post by everhopeful » May 29th, 2012, 1:00 pm

Welcome to TPS!
I think this poem is all about that ending, it's a turn of phrase worthy of expression and being shouted from the rooftops, but that alone wouldn't be enough to warrant such exalted status - the build up helps illustrate the message with imagery and metaphor, before the killer closing lines.
Well penned and congratulations on the spotlight.



inflames
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Re: Dead Mountaineer

Post by inflames » May 30th, 2012, 11:09 am

I agree with Mick: the poem is superb in its ending. lovely work. What a splendid surprise to see this in the spotlight! I`m very pleased. Congrats!


"I don't see novels ending with any real sense of closure."
– Michael Ondaatje


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Elaine_sunshine
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Re: Dead Mountaineer

Post by Elaine_sunshine » May 30th, 2012, 8:11 pm

I like your message greatly; or atleast what I took from it. How we end, go out, commence is so very telling about who we are. Thank you.



Stepshed
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Re: Dead Mountaineer

Post by Stepshed » May 31st, 2012, 8:16 am

Thanks again for all the lovely comments - they really are greatly appreciated :smile:


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gooseberry
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Re: Dead Mountaineer

Post by gooseberry » June 1st, 2012, 10:41 am

A remarkable piece of poetry.Whenever I read a poem and I feel myself being swept along by the words,being drawn into the writing,its then that I know a poem is truly great.


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KennyWebber
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Re: Dead Mountaineer

Post by KennyWebber » June 2nd, 2012, 5:51 pm

This is one of those cases where I think the piece deserves the spotlight, this is fantastic.



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