the sickle's play

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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Pride Ed
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Re: the sickle's play

Post by Pride Ed » July 28th, 2014, 2:00 pm

Beautiful!! Terrific poem.
The rhyme scheme is done very well in this.
^_^


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Baywriter
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Re: the sickle's play

Post by Baywriter » July 29th, 2014, 2:18 pm

I agree with Prince Ed. Your rhymes are very nice here. You seem to have a natural sense of meter because the meter of the poem is pretty consistent, especially at the very beginning of the poem. The images in this poem were peaceful and bright, which made for a refreshing read. Beautifully penned. Thanks for sharing!

Bay


3 replies for every poem you post! You get what you give!

JASON
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Re: the sickle's play

Post by JASON » July 31st, 2014, 3:03 am

this is one of the most enjoyable poems I have ever read on this site -
a really solid,well written poem.Stanzas 2 + 3 need to be tweaked a little
to measure up to your opening and last 2 stanzas, but all in all - superb!



dwells
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Re: the sickle's play

Post by dwells » October 6th, 2014, 5:23 am

Hi HE - and I don't know if intentional or not but your rhymed couplets became even line rhymed in later stanzas, and then back again for an unusual rhyme scheme. Nevertheless it's a great piece for the spotlight as well as a memorable one, with an indelible message couched vividly in the imagery. Cheers!


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AoR
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Re: the sickle's play

Post by AoR » October 6th, 2014, 9:33 pm

hoboelite wrote:Hey, Jason.. thanks for that generous comment.

it seems that meter and myself will never understand each other completely..... ah,well. I'm beginning to realize that I make (concessions?) to the poem as I read it and it flows for me, where to others it is clunky.
ah, well. so, we learn slowly, I guess.

Thanks again, Jason.
hoboelite I think we are the same in this regard lol. I write and it sounds so slick and smooth, so when I make to try out the forms and they speak of pentameter and tetrameter etc. etc. I am like... okay.... I was my English Teacher's least favorite back in my school days. :laugh: No... Seriously.

In any case, I thought everything about this was gorgeous. I read it aloud as I tend to do with poetry, and it was such a lovely piece of writing. I have read it through twice and have come back to reply because I admit it left me a bit speechless. It is lovely, it reads with a fluidity and the rhymes are so nicely placed to add a sense of endearment and really heightens the beautifulness in the telling. I am happy the Spotlight exists because then I can read gems like this one, gorgeous writing! And please keep your physical and virtual pen nearby, because you are an awesome writer. :)


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LorettaYoung
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Re: the sickle's play

Post by LorettaYoung » October 7th, 2014, 6:06 pm

Congratulations: this is a beautiful poem in so many ways. Your choice of words, does display your execution of the season, nature, love; exceptional use of metaphors, and the last line, the sickle's play adds mystery. Very well done and enjoyed. Loretta



potentialpoet
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Re: the sickle's play

Post by potentialpoet » October 9th, 2014, 11:52 am

The rhythm and rhyme of this poem created a kind of mythic aura. It reminded me of John Barleycorn or the mystic rites of Ceres, something about our relationship with the earth through agriculture...and at the same time, a nifty love story!


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David Wayne
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Re: the sickle's play

Post by David Wayne » October 13th, 2014, 3:16 pm

being a farm boy I really relate to this one. I like that it has a positive ending in the hay being regrown and ready for another harvest the way love can be regrown and harvested.

Cheers David



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