Grandpa

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David Wayne
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Grandpa

Post by David Wayne » August 21st, 2014, 7:24 am

Grandpa was an Oak
his limbs creaked heavy
from the weight of shade
soon will come his harvest
a mantle laid above a warm fireplace
where nick-nacks collect dust
and saplings gather
to listen to him groan



Balustrade
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Re: Grandpa

Post by Balustrade » August 21st, 2014, 8:12 am

Aptly and nicely developed metaphor. Short yet very informative and wholesome.


Formerly known as DJK, and once fleetingly known as Win-der-mere.

JASON
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Re: Grandpa

Post by JASON » August 22nd, 2014, 3:05 am

what an enjoyable poem - those little acorns will also grow into
oaks with time...awesome that after life , he is still useful.



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songofmeadow
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Re: Grandpa

Post by songofmeadow » August 22nd, 2014, 4:09 am

Very nice, I like both the metaphor and how it extends to a life of further use as a mantle, and the last two lines are perfectly utilised and understood :) mx


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David Wayne
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Re: Grandpa

Post by David Wayne » August 22nd, 2014, 10:55 am

Thanks to everyone who responded to this
much appreciated

David



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Ladywildalice
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Re: Grandpa

Post by Ladywildalice » April 6th, 2019, 6:09 pm

Dear David Wayne: This is a stunning recollection of a person who meant so much to his family. The creative manner in which you describe "Grandpa" showing his solidity, his strength, and his all prevailing presence and protection of those in his family, without just saying that is wonderful. I can see him, hear his breathing, an occasional "humph" as he rises from his seat. And you remind us that he faces the "big sleep", that one day soon, is mortal threads will be no more, and those left behind will have memories only, too call him forth. Excellent. Congrats.


'Where ecstasy leaves gravity and dances with wild eyes' by Ladywildalice

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rupertpupkin
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Re: Grandpa

Post by rupertpupkin » April 8th, 2019, 1:31 pm

Excellent write! Well done on the most deserving spotlight


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Josie
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Re: Grandpa

Post by Josie » April 12th, 2019, 9:44 pm

Grandpa and the tree were one. I keep looking at the mantle above the fireplace and imagining how Grandpa is still being a part of the family. It was a very pleasant experience reading the poem.


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