Open Her Mind to See Mine

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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Stardust
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Open Her Mind to See Mine

Post by Stardust » May 28th, 2015, 7:58 pm

.





I regard pursuit
and elect to see,
while yielding a martyr's nerve
that peeks through frowns,
her words that grant this heart to grieve
in the honest beauty I observe.

By candlelight,
shadows bound the guarding walls
that surround my room;
my tears disembark
to salt my shivering lips.
I pause for desired silence,
'til a normalcy resumes.

To wax joy
in where doubt and death compete,
I prove to be a scent to breeze
wherein my prowess evades an ego;
you slowly nurture,
tried and true,
this most humbled man
you easily bring to knees.

Beautiful, beautiful girl,
seed and protect
my most delicate of dreams!


Without inspiration, poetry proves to be merely a vessel for documenting rhetoric without merit.
-Me

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seraph1420
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Re: Open Her Mind to See Mine

Post by seraph1420 » May 29th, 2015, 2:39 am

Ah! The end was just the way it should have been. I am so grateful that I read this piece. The last verse has to be my favourite, without any doubt. Thanks for sharing.

Seraph



riversidepoet
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Re: Open Her Mind to See Mine

Post by riversidepoet » May 29th, 2015, 11:22 am

I loved this, a great beginning and a great ending with lots in between, thanks for sharing, may God bless



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candlewitch
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Re: Open Her Mind to See Mine

Post by candlewitch » May 29th, 2015, 11:44 am

hello,

the other commentators won't get any argument from me, as I agree fully! beautifully done!

always, Cat


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generictruth
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Re: Open Her Mind to See Mine

Post by generictruth » September 17th, 2018, 12:31 am

When you write you're so calm, and so measured. There's never a word there that's out of place, and it's beautiful to read and to "mentally hear" as you call it. It's so unlike you, but I enjoy this side of you too. Whether you are unfiltered and wild, or calm and precise you're my Mark.


When we hope for perfection
we only see the pain
when we pray for light
there's only rain
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Stardust
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Re: Open Her Mind to See Mine

Post by Stardust » September 17th, 2018, 8:20 am

Thank you. I have written some 310 poems or so in all forms, and involving many subjects. I stopped writing when we didn't talk anymore.


Without inspiration, poetry proves to be merely a vessel for documenting rhetoric without merit.
-Me

CarolynKleefeld
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Re: Open Her Mind to See Mine

Post by CarolynKleefeld » September 17th, 2018, 8:26 pm

Beautifully composed, with a masterful use use of language-- much enjoyed.



rupertpupkin
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Re: Open Her Mind to See Mine

Post by rupertpupkin » June 12th, 2019, 9:31 am

Lovely write. Well done on the spotlight!


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up2quark
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Re: Open Her Mind to See Mine

Post by up2quark » June 15th, 2019, 10:47 am

The love from the flowering fragrance of your sweet heart permaeates throughout the lines. Seek and thyne will finds, seems like you found the love inside and are expressing it well, thank you for the love



glenn daniels
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Re: Open Her Mind to See Mine

Post by glenn daniels » June 19th, 2019, 1:43 pm

I'm probably a little unsophisticated as I am a newbie, however, I felt like it was disjointed and it left me confused. Sorry. I did like the last part though.



Stardust
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Re: Open Her Mind to See Mine

Post by Stardust » March 2nd, 2021, 10:39 pm

up2quark wrote:
June 15th, 2019, 10:47 am
The love from the flowering fragrance of your sweet heart permaeates throughout the lines. Seek and thyne will finds, seems like you found the love inside and are expressing it well, thank you for the love
I knew not the Beast that consumes a younger man, but new a love unresolved for the inspiration that constructed this poem. What a beautiful comment you left! ...for Kat.


Without inspiration, poetry proves to be merely a vessel for documenting rhetoric without merit.
-Me

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