You Were Beautiful (IK)

[karrie]

You were like
the older sister that I never had
but had always wanted.
You were a child of the '70's,
with flowers in your hair
and a mischievous smile.
I wanted to gently
pluck those flowers from your hair
and put them in mine,
I wanted to wrap your smile
in delicate lace
and hold it close to my skin.
You were 10 feet tall and a mystery
that I so desperately wanted to solve,
I was your shadow
and I followed you in silence.
My shadowed feet would step
gently into your footprints,
I wanted to walk in your shoes.
You were a poet,
and your words flew from your pen
like butterflies.
You were an artist,
and your paintings came to life
with the stroke of your brush.
You helped birth babies
and held dying hands,
you were beautiful.
I never got the chance
to tell you how much I love you.
I never got the chance
to say goodbye.
I never got the chance
to hold your dying hand.
I never got the chance
to stop you.
(for my cousin Diana)

[TripleP]

This was a wonderful tribute and well-written portrait, and then the reader is hit square in the eyes with that last line! Wow! Just wow. Incredible. Thanks for sharing.

[Chelle]

a very pretty tribute to someone you obviously loved very much. we all take those moments for granted until theyre gone. well done karrie and thanks for letting us see this little gem.

[JASON]

This one brought tears to my eyes - I knew from the past tense title
that this was going to be a tear jerker...
I like this one A lot !!
It's people like Diana that make the world a better place -
tragic that they never come to terms with their own self worth...

[songofmeadow]

She sounds like a wonderful person and role model to have had in your life, a very special poem mx

[Azfar]

This, another beautiful poem, that gives praise to the one it's written for, a praise that is verbally executed nicely. Beautiful.

[everhopeful]

I'm sure that the spirit of Diana lives on in you Kar-Kar, because I see so many of those qualities you mentioned in you too.
You don't just tell us the strength of your feelings, you recreate her character in a way which lets us admire her too. So many of the lines in this one made me smile, to the point where I sense Diana had that effect on people too, and even if you never got the chance to say how much you loved her I'm sure she was perceptive enough to know it :)

[allmirth]

I keep reading this and then I am so moved, that apparently I forget to comment. Such a touching and beautiful tribute.

Thanks so much for sharing.
Mirthy

[IronHeart]

I love the part you write about shadows and steps. It reminds me of what I am currently contemplating in regards to my nieces. Even though we may not want someone to follow after us, we seldom get to make that choice for them. Thank you for illustrating what it is like on the other side of the shadow, very well done, well shared. I can feel it.

[Paulette]

Hey, Karrie -

This is a beautiful tribute, very nicely done. It's so emotional and visual that it's hard to critique, I think.

One quick nit:

"I was your shadow
and I followed you in silence.
My shadowed feet would step ..."

Since you've used "I was your shadow," I'd find an alternative for "My shadowed feet..." Just a suggestion.

All in all, this really is beautiful!

Blessings,
Paulette

[AlzheimerDreams]

Hello Karrie,

A lovely poem and an even lovelier memoriam for some one who, I can see, was the loveliest of people.

As for the little nit about using a variant of "shadow," you can see that I don't mind repeating a particular word root to emphasise something. By the way, I would, personally, be very interested to find a more-than-one-syllable rhyme to "shadow" that does not, itself, contain the letters "s h a d o w"

A lovely write and well worth reading and re-reading - I even, eventually, enjoyed the shade of pink as a further subtle reminder of your friend. Tomorrow, by some weird happenchance, is "International Women's Day" - such timing ...

[Sylvierue]

A beautifully touching poem. It's so hard sometimes looking back and thinking of what we might have done differently and how it might have altered time, but the genuineness behind your poetic tribute makes me feel like your love and admiration was felt implicitly if not stated directly.

I was moved by this, it's not always easy to get across what someone means to us while also showing the world who they were, but I think this poem does a lovely job of that.

[Mollie]

A sad, moving, well written poem. Congratulations on introducing us to your cousin and how much you loved her. I agree: The last line pulls one up with a gasp.
Jean

[IronHeart]

Congrats on the spotlight! I knew this was a good one!

[Josie]

How beautiful for Diana to be loved and appreciated by a young cousin who was able to share her memories of seeing. To be creative as a poet and painter, and to help birth babies and hold the hands of others dying, helped create an image of one participating in life. I could almost see her mischievous smile and the flowers in her hair. Congratulations on the TPS Spotlight recognition.

[Ladywildalice]

This was marvelous despite the pain and loss that punched the reader in the gut, especially at the ending. Congrats on the spotlight, this is a well deserving piece and something that will speak, sadly, to many.

[everhopeful]

I recall reading this one first time around as it had a lasting impact on me. I know how hard it is to write a poem like this and forcing yourself to revisit your sense of loss, but I'm so proud of you for being able to share the great moments which made you love her so much and let us experience those with you, for there is no greater tribute to someone than to celebrate their life and its profound impact on yours.
Congratulations on the spotlight.

[jsol]

gorgeous karrie. i love your poem and am proud of you for writing it. congratulations!

[Jovel320]

A very sensitive piece and one that reflects how others make changes in our lives and our true selves without their knowledge. This is such a profound and personal piece that gives us insight into relationships.
Thanks for sharing your heartfelt expressions!!!
Jovel