Baptism of tears

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Keith
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Joined: September 8th, 2016, 11:06 am
Location: United Kingdom

Baptism of tears

Post by Keith » November 11th, 2016, 12:13 pm

When the floods finally came
you were down in Dallas,
washing cars by day and floors by night .
They found you drinking whirlpools
amongst the sidewalks and cigarettes,
bare knuckles bleeding in the rain.

You had your followers,
institute inmates that shook their heads
and chewed their hands,
pills that held the banks from bursting.
Slowly you began to surface,
regression split the shell and gave you a name.

He took you when you were five;
I sat on your bed, watched from your window,
for twenty years I saw you playing in the yard,
heard your voice in every playground,
prayers whispered onto candle light,
washed your bedding every night.

The buzzer sounds as the door lock clicks,
the room smells of urine and bleach.
The warder points towards the window,
I sit between you and the misty garden view.
You fight to stall emotion but cry out “Mother”
and I am reborn.



devious83
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Re: Baptism of tears

Post by devious83 » November 22nd, 2016, 7:38 am

Wow, that was beautiful. Thank you for sharing it.


Presenting: The 'Animated Poetry' Gospel For your enjoyment.

TripleP
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Re: Baptism of tears

Post by TripleP » November 22nd, 2016, 4:43 pm

The final stanza, of course, pulls the tragedy together. The second stanza pulled at my heart the most, but the entire poem is strong and powerful. Incredible imagery.


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Keith
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Joined: September 8th, 2016, 11:06 am
Location: United Kingdom

Re: Baptism of tears

Post by Keith » November 24th, 2016, 9:54 am

devious83 wrote:Wow, that was beautiful. Thank you for sharing it.
Many thanks devious83 really appreciate your comments.



Keith
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Location: United Kingdom

Re: Baptism of tears

Post by Keith » November 24th, 2016, 9:55 am

TripleP wrote:The final stanza, of course, pulls the tragedy together. The second stanza pulled at my heart the most, but the entire poem is strong and powerful. Incredible imagery.
Hi TripleP thank you for your considered comments. Best Keith



Pseudo
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Re: Baptism of tears

Post by Pseudo » November 30th, 2016, 3:20 pm

The depth of emotion you've managed to convey is remarkable, and the last stanza ties it all together beautifully. Thanks for sharing!


Human beings are members of a whole,
In creation of one essence and soul.
If one member is afflicted with pain,
Other members uneasy will remain.
If you've no sympathy for human pain,
The name of human you cannot retain!
~ Saadi

Keith
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Location: United Kingdom

Re: Baptism of tears

Post by Keith » November 30th, 2016, 10:57 pm

Pseudo wrote:The depth of emotion you've managed to convey is remarkable, and the last stanza ties it all together beautifully. Thanks for sharing!
Many thanks pseudo, really appreciate your comments. Best Keith



rupertpupkin
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Re: Baptism of tears

Post by rupertpupkin » February 27th, 2020, 7:25 am

Super poem. Gritty but beautiful. Great writing. Well done on the spotlight


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