Strong writing - 3 stanzas of bad light.
shivering, to a harmful glare and finally dulling the brightness...
The atmosphere is awkward and uncomfortable.
Unbecoming
-
- Elite Member
- Posts: 3145
- Joined: June 19th, 2012, 7:43 am
- Location: here and there
-
- Elite Member
- Posts: 2281
- Joined: May 13th, 2014, 9:14 am
Re: Unbecoming
This is a familiar tale told from an unusual angle. I liked the emphasis on light, as if it was influenced by the couple's fighting and bad mood. Cool poem.
Bear
Bear
"I cry out for magic/I feel it dancing in the light/It was cold/Lost my hold/To the shadows of the night" (Ronnie James Dio)
-
- Moderator
- Posts: 3342
- Joined: April 19th, 2012, 10:03 am
Re: Unbecoming
Hi. Great poem! Most of us have been there! Brilliantly crafted piece. Well done on the spotlight.