Realistic

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Balustrade
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Realistic

Post by Balustrade » August 30th, 2017, 9:09 am

Running circles inside my small squares
Fabricating truths heedless of countless dares
My sights are set on reused wash water facts
My charades are only secondary audition acts

Invisible bars imprison my expansive void
It’s all in the mind of an overstressed humanoid
How can I climb up the rickety rackety rungs
When words unsung are glued to my tongue

Yes I acknowledge what the advocates say
Opportunity looms ahead so slither up that way
I’m cast into the block of the “what” I am
Only into immobility is where I safely scram







Formerly known as DJK, and once fleetingly known as Win-der-mere.

cigarillogirl
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Re: Realistic

Post by cigarillogirl » August 31st, 2017, 12:55 pm

Well done Balustrade. It's hard to escape into immobility because then loneliness can be impossible to find and peace slips away from us. We are good people with too harsh problems often.



A.k.ChaosDream
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Re: Realistic

Post by A.k.ChaosDream » September 1st, 2017, 9:54 pm

Sense of turmoil here with great diction ...rhyme...and that 'waste' feel
Imprisonment seems precious as highest forces are held back by some immaterial bars right before you contrast and deem them no longer worthy. You refuse to succumb to hypocrisy while resigning a calmer devil.
Well done, dj, cheers,
D


where i post stuff/bio
I'm Chaos, Luv' -
hate me with my
Pain and throw me back
to sleep -


finally - the darkness lightened up a shade - after ages spreading it across my sanity[/center]

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SilentTears
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Re: Realistic

Post by SilentTears » September 27th, 2017, 4:32 pm

I'm just in love with this whole piece. First off, it's a breeze to read and the flow is on point. Secondly, I relate so hard I was holding my breath while I was reading this. Its so difficult to get these kinds of feelings on paper in a way that makes sense and yet is still true to the feeling, and I think you've done very well.

The first stanza reminds me of how confining anxiety is. Both in how it limits you and how everything you do feels like it's no where near your best, but that's all you can do. The second seems to expand on that and speak to how it's a prison of our own making, but we're not any less powerless in it. It's hard enough to express your feelings when they don't make sense, but when you don't even have the words, it's extremely confusing. It's exhausting just figuring out where to start. The third reminds me of all the people trying to support me in my anxiety, always encouraging me to try, and hoping for me, but ultimately judging me for issues. What's the point of improving if I still never get the benefit of the doubt and they expect me to backslide?

Very awesome, going in my favorites. I look forward to reading more of your work.


I let the sun on my skin.
Pretend I don't burn
I'm not burning here.
I just lay ash
On my eyelids,
And rub it deep into my
Bones.


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Balustrade
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Re: Realistic

Post by Balustrade » November 27th, 2017, 4:50 am

cigarillogirl wrote:
August 31st, 2017, 12:55 pm
Well done Balustrade. It's hard to escape into immobility because then loneliness can be impossible to find and peace slips away from us. We are good people with too harsh problems often.
We are good people indeed!

Thank you so much dear friend.


Formerly known as DJK, and once fleetingly known as Win-der-mere.

Balustrade
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Re: Realistic

Post by Balustrade » November 27th, 2017, 4:51 am

A.k.ChaosDream wrote:
September 1st, 2017, 9:54 pm
Sense of turmoil here with great diction ...rhyme...and that 'waste' feel
Imprisonment seems precious as highest forces are held back by some immaterial bars right before you contrast and deem them no longer worthy. You refuse to succumb to hypocrisy while resigning a calmer devil.
Well done, dj, cheers,
D
Thank you my dear friend. I truly appreciate your support.


Formerly known as DJK, and once fleetingly known as Win-der-mere.

Balustrade
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Location: Dubai

Re: Realistic

Post by Balustrade » November 27th, 2017, 4:52 am

SilentTears wrote:
September 27th, 2017, 4:32 pm
I'm just in love with this whole piece. First off, it's a breeze to read and the flow is on point. Secondly, I relate so hard I was holding my breath while I was reading this. Its so difficult to get these kinds of feelings on paper in a way that makes sense and yet is still true to the feeling, and I think you've done very well.

The first stanza reminds me of how confining anxiety is. Both in how it limits you and how everything you do feels like it's no where near your best, but that's all you can do. The second seems to expand on that and speak to how it's a prison of our own making, but we're not any less powerless in it. It's hard enough to express your feelings when they don't make sense, but when you don't even have the words, it's extremely confusing. It's exhausting just figuring out where to start. The third reminds me of all the people trying to support me in my anxiety, always encouraging me to try, and hoping for me, but ultimately judging me for issues. What's the point of improving if I still never get the benefit of the doubt and they expect me to backslide?

Very awesome, going in my favorites. I look forward to reading more of your work.
You cannot imagine how ecstatic I am to know that you have reacted favorably to this poem. My eternally grateful thanks.


Formerly known as DJK, and once fleetingly known as Win-der-mere.

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