Stayed At Home

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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Liquid Bear
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Re: Stayed At Home

Post by Liquid Bear » September 13th, 2017, 2:08 pm

The whole narrative was spellbinding and gave me chills. Really strong stuff, and quite an ominous ending which promises nothing good. Great poem.

Bear


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"I cry out for magic/I feel it dancing in the light/It was cold/Lost my hold/To the shadows of the night" (Ronnie James Dio)
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SilentTears
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Re: Stayed At Home

Post by SilentTears » September 19th, 2017, 9:23 pm

Truly tragic and gripping. The first verse grabbed me and set a perfect stage for the rocky ride that inevitable accompanies remembering things like this. The imagery was wonderful and your message was powerful. I agree with Liquid Bear as well, a very ominous ending that kind of mirrors the last line of the first verse and ties everything together. Well done.


I let the sun on my skin.
Pretend I don't burn
I'm not burning here.
I just lay ash
On my eyelids,
And rub it deep into my
Bones.

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Chelle
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Re: Stayed At Home

Post by Chelle » February 12th, 2018, 9:25 pm

so I just wanted to say this was amazing! I really love your stuff and I want to see more of it. I was held in thrall the entire time and I couldn't help but feel life slipping through my hands, wondering if I had wasted my future.


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