Life In The Shadows

[jfreephilosophy]

My deepest most darkest thoughts, will probably always be, my deepest most darkest thoughts.
You see, I am not afraid of being open;
I'm afraid of being open at all cost.
What weakens me, is my worry about the things I say, that people may use as ammunition against me.
Understand, I don't hide behind no fence.
I'll just always be a bit more tense.

Thoughts.
I'm a thinker.
I'm always in a state of endless thought.
Analyzing all my flaws,
But knowing I can't perfect them all.
Still I take a second to pause,
Thinking that will never be good enough,
Maybe I'm just a lost cause.

But the side of me that's brighter,
Always reminds me that I'm a fighter.
I remember that the moment in the fight,
when you're most tired,
That's the moment when you inspire.
Even though I get back to standing tall,
I know not how to dig deep and give my all.
I feel like I can give the surface,
but after which, I'm worthless.
It hurts.

That there is more of me to give,
And I just can not seem to find it.
I've tried and tried the best I can,
My one true failure as a man.
To search for what I can't attain,
A pointless bullet to the brain.
Because here I sit, a bit more insane,
All my troubles have remained and gained.
I couldn't handle the simple hurts.
My fear is what will I do when life gets worst.
I'm wondering if I'll bring the hurt,
Of if I'm just an automatic bid for a hurse.
I'm just wondering first, which is worst?

JFP

[jfreephilosophy]

This is not how I really feel about life folks. I was just trying to write a different way. It was an obvious crash and burn lol. Back to the pad

[Jahaliel]

its a different style- i like the contrast of the longer lines in the opening and then the short lines of the thinker section. it's introspective, and has a real depth to the words while flowing like water. I think it would be an excellent piece to speak aloud.

[inflames]

Interesting questions I'm not sure how anyone can answer. Thanks for sharing this.

[rupertpupkin]

Wonderful poem. Well done on a most deserving spotlight