violence

[parkayaapravesh]

Please.

Please leave me alone
Please Don’t come
On pretexts
Don’t make excuses

I don’t want you inside my house
I don’t want you inside my head

Don’t look at me
Don’t lay on my bed
Don’t stand so close
Don’t pretend

You disturb me
You mess with my head
I am left askew
Anew

I don’t want to remember you in my house

I don’t want to remember you in my head

I don’t want to remember your skin touching mine

I don’t want to remember

I wish to forget

It hurts so bad
I can’t breathe
I can’t catch my breath
I’m reduced to a seething ball of anxiety.

Wound so tight

I feel like I’ll burst

Into violence

And I will destroy

Your impassive face.

Your cold lips

And your dead eyes

I want to take the cheap china plates

Of our memories

And smash them into smithereens

I want to crush them in my bare hand

Till I bleed every night dry

I want to choke the breath

Out of every minute that I was with you

And you were nowhere, with me

Please.

Leave me alone.

Lest I kill you

And paint my skin

With the blood

of your indifference.

[Chelle]

first of all, wanted to say this one is awesome. Secondly congrats on your 1 year anniversary with TPS. I look forward to seeing more stuff from you. Third-I know what it feels like to feel complete hatred toward someone, knowing you would commit violence if they were near you again.

[Josie]

You have captured so much of the emotional state of someone who is experiencing the devastation left by an abusive relationship. I probably would have ended your poem with 'Leave me alone', but there is a lot of punch in your last four lines.

[parkayaapravesh]

first of all, wanted to say this one is awesome. Secondly congrats on your 1 year anniversary with TPS. I look forward to seeing more stuff from you. Third-I know what it feels like to feel complete hatred toward someone, knowing you would commit violence if they were near you again.

Chelle, Ive been terrible at keeping up with this space. But i'm going to try be better this year. Also i need to learn to not use poetry just as a catharsis but also as a medium to express all kinds of feelings. i don't like that i only write when im hurt, sad or angry. sigh* im going to try harder. thank you so much for your words,

[parkayaapravesh]

You have captured so much of the emotional state of someone who is experiencing the devastation left by an abusive relationship. I probably would have ended your poem with 'Leave me alone', but there is a lot of punch in your last four lines.

Josie, when i wrote it, i was only seeing violence, i was so so angry. the painting of my body with blood, ritualistic to the act of war, seemed apt. and i could feel how much i wanted to do that in my bones. :) i still feel like that, but i think that fire has burnt down to an ember now. so thank you for your feedback!