why don't i matter?..

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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bumblebee
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Location: by the lake..

why don't i matter?..

Post by bumblebee » September 30th, 2019, 7:29 pm

I am 4 years old..

I am invisible.. and i don't know why..
i stand in the room like you do..

i breathe like you..

I look around me and try to figure out this world that i didn't ask to be part of..

the world that noone seems to want me in.

I hold my hand in front of my eyes.. and i wriggle my fingers..

i stare at the dirty nails.. dirt from the garden wedged firmly beneath.

i love the garden.. the sticky scent of tomatoes thriving in the greenhouse..
the little blue speckled eggs in the nest next to the wire..
the peaches happily climbing across the wall..

the mulberry tree swishing heavily in the warmth of the wind..

I'm not invisible here - i belong..
and i spend my days smiling until the growling of my tummy is loud enough to drag me inside..

nothing is alive inside.. nothing sings.. nothing breathes..

and i'm invisible.

Each little rib can be counted.. as the careful breaths leave my little body..

and as i take a piece of cake to feed my gnawing belly.. i hear footsteps..

i hide under the table..

i know i shouldn't have taken it..


Sorrows woven
heart worn..
sing of sadness
until hope brings Dawn..

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Liquid Bear
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Re: why don't i matter?..

Post by Liquid Bear » October 1st, 2019, 12:45 pm

My friend, this is one of the best poems I've ever read. It's sad, menacing, mysterious and frankly disturbing. It stirred something inside me, feelings I would have rather not remembered but that's what great poetry does, it confronts you with reality, past and present, it moves you and challenges you. Hats off to you, sir.

Bear


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"I cry out for magic/I feel it dancing in the light/It was cold/Lost my hold/To the shadows of the night" (Ronnie James Dio)

nightseas
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Joined: April 17th, 2012, 11:55 pm

Re: why don't i matter?..

Post by nightseas » October 18th, 2019, 10:11 am

Effective imagery describing abuse. Who knows what people go through?



khurram
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Joined: December 2nd, 2012, 10:15 am

Re: why don't i matter?..

Post by khurram » October 30th, 2019, 7:02 pm

Great poem. A child ... his/her unhappiness. Guilt and confusion. Life can be hard and cruel.



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newlight
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Location: loughton essex london

Re: why don't i matter?..

Post by newlight » December 12th, 2019, 7:58 am

My god life can be cruel, I saw images of my own childhood in you words so sad , scary such range of emotions , well done on a stunning piece of poetry xx



AgentofChaos
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Location: Cape Town

Re: why don't i matter?..

Post by AgentofChaos » March 18th, 2020, 4:06 am

many of us were that 4 year old child... life only existed for us outside... the things we loved too..


Gingerly, I write

Agent of Chaos - Prose'd

Be a law unto yourself
Be a society unto yourself
Be a religion unto yourself
Be unto yourself; Yourself!

khurram
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Joined: December 2nd, 2012, 10:15 am

Re: why don't i matter?..

Post by khurram » March 20th, 2020, 3:47 pm

Great poem. Reminds me of a servant child. So helpless. The people round him, so mean. He/she loves the garden ... aye, so full of rich nature, drawing in any innocent soul. Thanks for sharing.



rupertpupkin
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Re: why don't i matter?..

Post by rupertpupkin » January 26th, 2021, 4:14 pm

Wonderful write. Well done on a most deserving spotlight


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eploscik
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Re: why don't i matter?..

Post by eploscik » January 27th, 2021, 10:23 pm

I concur with what's been posted here...I get different meanings each time, very layered and very impressive. Thank you



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