Water and a Flame
- Patdolan83
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- Joined:August 29th, 2012, 4:33 pm
- Location:Nottingham Eng UK
We couldn't have been better suited, that was my belieF
A mistake in judgment I now truly feeL
There is now a longing for temporary amnesiA
Every memory I want erasing along with every dreaM
Realising we could never be..Youre water and I'm a flamE
just something I was messing around with
A mistake in judgment I now truly feeL
There is now a longing for temporary amnesiA
Every memory I want erasing along with every dreaM
Realising we could never be..Youre water and I'm a flamE
just something I was messing around with
"I wouldn’t want you to want
To be wanted by me
I wouldn’t want you to worry
That You'd be drowned within my sea
I only wanted to be wonderful
And wonderful is true
In truth I only really wanted
To be wanted by you"
D Rice
To be wanted by me
I wouldn’t want you to worry
That You'd be drowned within my sea
I only wanted to be wonderful
And wonderful is true
In truth I only really wanted
To be wanted by you"
D Rice
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Re: Water and a Flame
Awesome acrostic (double acrostic? acrostic sandwich?) and it's always a wonderful treat when the content is marvelous too! - Dew
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Re: Water and a Flame
Acrostic sandwich is the perfect name for this! This is fantastic, and none of it felt forced.
Flower of Poetic Excellence
Flower of Poetic Excellence
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Re: Water and a Flame
You know, I don't know how that might sound, but I really felt the coldness and heat at both edges, as they are completely two different things, and you presented your thoughts in quite a clever way.
Impressive!
Sash
Impressive!
Sash
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Re: Water and a Flame
This was really cool. I love the contrast, and the rationalizing of things. Cool piece!
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Re: Water and a Flame
Cleverly crafted and interestingly themed! This is one to read again and again! Thank you!
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- Patdolan83
- Regular Member
- Posts:423
- Joined:August 29th, 2012, 4:33 pm
- Location:Nottingham Eng UK
Re: Water and a Flame
Thanks guys...never expected the spotlight
"I wouldn’t want you to want
To be wanted by me
I wouldn’t want you to worry
That You'd be drowned within my sea
I only wanted to be wonderful
And wonderful is true
In truth I only really wanted
To be wanted by you"
D Rice
To be wanted by me
I wouldn’t want you to worry
That You'd be drowned within my sea
I only wanted to be wonderful
And wonderful is true
In truth I only really wanted
To be wanted by you"
D Rice
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- Elite Member
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- Joined:April 19th, 2012, 5:28 pm
- Patdolan83
- Regular Member
- Posts:423
- Joined:August 29th, 2012, 4:33 pm
- Location:Nottingham Eng UK
Re: Water and a Flame
Thank you dornicks, I apreciate your kind words
"I wouldn’t want you to want
To be wanted by me
I wouldn’t want you to worry
That You'd be drowned within my sea
I only wanted to be wonderful
And wonderful is true
In truth I only really wanted
To be wanted by you"
D Rice
To be wanted by me
I wouldn’t want you to worry
That You'd be drowned within my sea
I only wanted to be wonderful
And wonderful is true
In truth I only really wanted
To be wanted by you"
D Rice
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- Regular Member
- Posts:678
- Joined:June 3rd, 2012, 10:31 am
- Location:Essex , England
Re: Water and a Flame
I wish I could "just mess around" with writing so effectively. The double acrostic was a brilliant device that didn't "overpower" the concepts of the poem.
Congratulations on getting a Spotlight.
--Norman--
Congratulations on getting a Spotlight.
--Norman--
- tangerinepie
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Re: Water and a Flame
I really enjoy acrostic writing, so this was a treat.The mood created had a natural flow, perfect contrasts.A well deserved spotlight selection..T..
- Jahaliel
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- Location:A'divell
Re: Water and a Flame
Double acrostics are amazing and this works so well. Congrats on the Spotlight.
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Re: Water and a Flame
A double acrostic, nicely penned in a way which emphasised the contrasting nature of the acrostic words, on a theme which is made for such an approach. Excellent presentation and a cool idea to boot.
Congratulations on the spotlight!
Congratulations on the spotlight!
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Re: Water and a Flame
WoW! An excellent double Acrostic...Very creative and made for a delightful read....Well done and Congrat's on the Spotlight...most deserved....Musie
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Re: Water and a Flame
So nice to see this glowing under the Spotlight! Congrats!
Cool, clever work!
Sash
Cool, clever work!
Sash
- Patdolan83
- Regular Member
- Posts:423
- Joined:August 29th, 2012, 4:33 pm
- Location:Nottingham Eng UK
Re: Water and a Flame
You kind people could never know just how much your words mean to me, thank you all from the middle of my heart, and thanks to the moderators for choosing my write for the spotlight
"I wouldn’t want you to want
To be wanted by me
I wouldn’t want you to worry
That You'd be drowned within my sea
I only wanted to be wonderful
And wonderful is true
In truth I only really wanted
To be wanted by you"
D Rice
To be wanted by me
I wouldn’t want you to worry
That You'd be drowned within my sea
I only wanted to be wonderful
And wonderful is true
In truth I only really wanted
To be wanted by you"
D Rice
- candlewitch
- Elite Member
- Posts:4739
- Joined:October 19th, 2012, 1:08 am
- Location:Wisconsin USA
- Contact:
Re: Water and a Flame
hello,
very creative double acrostic! I can relate to the theme very well. Much thought went into this piece. My favorite line:
Realising we could never be..Youre water and I'm a flamE
exquisitely done!
always, Cat
very creative double acrostic! I can relate to the theme very well. Much thought went into this piece. My favorite line:
Realising we could never be..Youre water and I'm a flamE
exquisitely done!
always, Cat