My pond

[zemole3]

The surface of my pond is pretty
It’s where you can skip your stones
and watch the gentle ripples form
but spare a thought for that stone
that continues past placidity
and sinks, sinks morosely
and settles on the mud below
where it becomes the home of beasts
some crushed beneath is steely weight
and others crawl its surface
still others like to make their homes
in those casually discarded rocks
that sunny faces like to throw
into my pond, into my soul
Instead of rising like Poseidon
and casting that which is cast upon me
back into the heads of those that cast them on before
this is a normal pond
no lights, no action
just concentric ripples
and the odd command to stay upon your toes

[ladylilith]

I really like the extended metaphor, and the paradox at the end too.. 'This is just a normal pond', I like how it can be read both ways. It really spoke to me on a personal level, how often I've felt like people have been skimming stones on my surface, for fun.. But never taking into account that those stones sink deeper.

Real fantastic work. It was an absolute pleasure to read. A refreshing and impressive write!

Lily^^

[chowzrus]

ZM - Keep crafting and creating - with pen and with life - Bill

[logan2104]

Wow, that was impressive. Very detailed imagery, and a great metaphor. Thanks :)

[Ladywildalice]

I'm probably WAY off base here. To me, I saw this as a gentle, calm, non-confrontational person, letting people cast their comments on her, perhaps insults or hurtful remarks........some of them just bounce across her surface, while others that are especially painful, sink into the heart and brain and sit there, festering. They are being held tight and controlled, but that is not to say that one day, if you don't watch out, they are all going to come bombarding back out, aimed at those who cast them in the first place. Good write, well conceived, constructed and presented. Enjoyable to say the least. Thanks.

[AoR]

This is lovely. The atmosphere is soft and serene whilst brimming with ripples of quiet sadness, emotion that's calm yet sad, cold yet beautifully delivered. The expression here is delivered with a keen relatability that seems to create many feelings and thoughts of perception that change and differentiate slightly through each reader. A fantastic feat indeed. Thank you for sharing this, it was enjoyed!

[Mystiq]

Hi zemole3 ... this piece has direct and whimsical interpretations, depending on the readers' experiences. Very well done and enjoyed.

Congratulations for The Spotlight!!
*hugs, Mystiq x

[Jahaliel]

very beautiful metaphor it's a gorgeous piece of writing. Congrats on the Spotlight.

[reveriebliss]

This had such a unique feel I cant get it out of my mind. Great job.

[created2write]

Congratulations on the spotlight. This was unique and left open in places enabling the reader to interpret. It seemed to share a little peek into your soul. Great use of metaphor. V

[testove]

Awesome write here. i love it

[Whiskurz]

I really enjoyed this piece.......Congrats on the spotlight........Whisk

[inflames]

Lovely sentiment behind this poem. I love the last line. Congrats on your spotlight!

[Toni Remington]

I really like the parallels and the alternat perspective oflooking beyond the ripples and the stone that had generated such beauty sunk in the mud. Sort of like martyrism. The first half was great, but I thought it sort of went to the wayside once you mentioned Poseidon, which sound cheap and cheesy to me. The first half was wonderful, though. Congrats on the spotlight.

[Dead Rebel]

excellent imagery and metaphor here. completed the circle bringing it back with "this is just a normal pond" Excellent.

[AoR]

I'm so glad to see this here in the Spotlight. It is most definitely well deserved and just a pleasure to read. Holds a quiet ever gentle impact that mesmerizes and grabs the reader into its beautiful reverie. Lovely write, and congrats once more!

[Ladywildalice]

Though I commented on this already (before you were picked for this) I just wanted to add my Congratulations for a very deserving write.