Moth
- songofmeadow
- Elite Member
- Posts:2132
- Joined:April 14th, 2012, 3:20 pm
- Location:the bright side
"In the final analysis, we are nothing more than dust"
Confused by rules of manmade intervention
and spiralling from artificial light,
I bump and twist in sightless navigation;
a powder trail remarks my drab-winged flight.
With darkness comes the thought of suicide,
and, searching for a new celestial flame
to burn myself, I wish that I had died -
but slow disintegration feels the same.
Besmirch me for I am no butterfly,
nail nameless tatoos on me if you must,
sometimes I dream I wing a different sky
where love is all and I am more than dust.
Confused by rules of manmade intervention
and spiralling from artificial light,
I bump and twist in sightless navigation;
a powder trail remarks my drab-winged flight.
With darkness comes the thought of suicide,
and, searching for a new celestial flame
to burn myself, I wish that I had died -
but slow disintegration feels the same.
Besmirch me for I am no butterfly,
nail nameless tatoos on me if you must,
sometimes I dream I wing a different sky
where love is all and I am more than dust.
Latest...
-
- Elite Member
- Posts:4023
- Joined:April 14th, 2012, 4:32 pm
- Contact:
Re: Moth
It's been a while since I've read you! I want to say 'what a treat! Such a delight!' But those kind of words never sound right when coupled with a Tragedy piece..
Bog and bold imagery at work here, I have always loved moths (some people are scared of them, I think they rock) and the whole moth attracted to the flame thing is a well worn route but you made it so fresh here. By depressing the emotion and pushing all those uncomfortable buttons in a reader, this piece came alive in my mind. I like how this can be read with the literal pictures created and the human aspect of it too.
Stellar work, as ever.
Lily^^
Bog and bold imagery at work here, I have always loved moths (some people are scared of them, I think they rock) and the whole moth attracted to the flame thing is a well worn route but you made it so fresh here. By depressing the emotion and pushing all those uncomfortable buttons in a reader, this piece came alive in my mind. I like how this can be read with the literal pictures created and the human aspect of it too.
Stellar work, as ever.
Lily^^
"The night is dark and full of terrors."
- songofmeadow
- Elite Member
- Posts:2132
- Joined:April 14th, 2012, 3:20 pm
- Location:the bright side
Re: Moth
I really enjoyed reading all your thoughtful comments, thank you, thank you :)
Latest...
-
- Elite Member
- Posts:2716
- Joined:April 14th, 2012, 11:56 pm
- Location:The Heartland
Re: Moth
This is most definitely one of my favorites from your pen my friend....EXCELLENT metapor, using the "Moth" concept for one's life and and how one see's their life, extremely creative in my mind...Full of emotion whic his underlying..One absolutely to be bookmarked for sure....LOVED IT! Musie
-
- Elite Member
- Posts:5371
- Joined:April 18th, 2012, 11:37 am
- Location:dying in the heat and humidity that is New Orleans
Re: Moth
Oh you have outdone yourself on this one! It's simply gorgeous! I have other pieces of your work inmy bookmarked collection, and that is where this gem is going as well! I want to be able to read these words whenever I want to! I love, love what you have done here! What I wouldn't give to hear you read it aloud!!!
Congratulations on the much deserved spotlight pick of the week!
-LMB
xoxo
Congratulations on the much deserved spotlight pick of the week!
-LMB
xoxo
- nothingtohide
- Regular Member
- Posts:43
- Joined:December 8th, 2012, 2:41 pm
- Location:Ohio
Re: Moth
Beautifully done. My favorite line "Sometimes I dream I wing a different sky..."
No regrets, emotions captured with pen and ink, expose this soul for the world to see.
- tangerinepie
- Elite Member
- Posts:4459
- Joined:April 18th, 2012, 10:42 pm
- Location:The North Shore
Re: Moth
I am always taken when a sad poem can spark the senses by the use of incredible imagery.A work of art surely and a wonderful spotlight addition..TY..Tangie..
-
- Elite Member
- Posts:1181
- Joined:April 17th, 2012, 11:23 pm
- Location:Toronto, ON
Re: Moth
Meadow, omg this is absolutely AMAZING. This is probably my favourite piece by you now. I'm so glad it got spotlighted, it deserves it so much. You have left me utterly speechless. I will be bookmarking this!
Congrats on the spotlight!
Congrats on the spotlight!
-
- Elite Member
- Posts:2426
- Joined:April 18th, 2012, 9:46 am
Re: Moth
This is a memorable exceptional work!
First, I love the seamless meter and rhyme, they were like the icing on the cake, and the content... the tenderness, fragility, cruelty, as in difference between moths and butterflies, as the latter is more so-assumed preferred
Stellar effective work, Meadow, and I'm so glad to see it wing in the spotlight sky.
Sash xx
First, I love the seamless meter and rhyme, they were like the icing on the cake, and the content... the tenderness, fragility, cruelty, as in difference between moths and butterflies, as the latter is more so-assumed preferred
Stellar effective work, Meadow, and I'm so glad to see it wing in the spotlight sky.
Sash xx
-
- Elite Member
- Posts:6714
- Joined:April 14th, 2012, 9:21 am
Re: Moth
What a beautifully composed poem, you always make form and meter look so easy with the seamless composition of your words, and the words themselves aren't too shabby either! I love how you've used the moth simile in this, it works so well in relation to a human's experience of seeking more, even though life seems to be handing them less. Every line is so on point here, adding something to the speaker's story, and the ending offers us just enough in the way of acceptance and resolution that I was left feeling like there was some hope for the speaker.
Congratulations on the spotlight!
Congratulations on the spotlight!