Solitary Drunk

[Lonnie]

Solitary Drunk



The mellow tone of saxophone
seeps through my vodka haze
and sings a sultry melody
of long forgotten days

a spiral plume of Winston fume
rises from the bar
and I remember warm September
breeze and soft guitar

a swaying palm that fed my calm
becomes a slim-hipped lass
I sip my drink and spare a wink
for memories in glass

the murky room reflects my gloom
and whispers ride the air
half-heard jokes from tipsy folks
that came to drown despair

and as last call for alcohol
rings like some funeral bell
I close my eyes and realize
this bar room is my Hell


C. Lon R. Bruso

[AliMariesDad]

Wonderful portrait, lonnie. Perfect imagery contrasted by a fun rhythm that seems to make a mockery of the poor drunkard, adding to the depression of this poem. Very, very well done.
AMD

[Dew]

Lonnie...BRAVO!!!! This is excellent poetry my friend! I'm sure it's a lot to do with personal preference and affinity for rhyme and meter...but for ME, this was absolute EXCELLENCE! I can't imagine making it better! Wonderful!!! - Dew

[Lonnie]

My sincerest thanks to both Alimariesdad and Dew for their taking time to read this piece and leave me generous comments!

[JohnFeddeler]

this is an excellent reflective piece. dim, smoky atmosphere, been there...

[Lonnie]

Thank you, Sir! I appreciate you taking the time to read and leave feedback!

[MusicMyLife]

This is awesome. Just beautiful.. You have painted a wonderful picture.

[Lonnie]

Thank you for reading this and leaving such nice comments!

[devil]

Incredible....my favourite poem so far on this site.

Sometimes you need to be in hell to thaw out the ice cold feelings others freeze you with.

But this poem sums it up brilliantly..my interpretation was that theres a fundamental sadness, but it peaks and troughs as you reminisce, until the end, when the bell tolls, realisation sets in, where it really hurts. Thats what it was like for me while I was looking for answers at the bottom of a bottle.

Anyway, kudos.

[Lonnie]

My thanks to both cable238 and devil for taking time to read this and leave me feedback, it is deeply appreciated!

[h.m.brown]

Wonderful imagery, nice rhyme and rythem. sweet, simple and to the point yet elegantly conducted, like a dance. Real topic told with a whimsical flow. I saw the whole thing clearly in my mind's eye without even trying. Nicley done!

[Lonnie]

Thank you most kindly for your generous comments!

[candlewitch]

Dear Lonnie,

I love the double rhyme in each of the first lines of every verse. I know this life well, in my younger years. I was this person, but I moved on, thanks to Steve who saw something special in me. This will always be one of my favorite poems of yours, as it holds special meaning. I was the patron they gave wide birth.

always, and with much appreciation, Cat (& eddy)

[Lonnie]

Thank you, Dear Lady! Your kind and generous words keep me going!

[Lonnie]

Thank you very much, you are very kind to have taken time to read this and leave me feedback!

[ladymaybebaby]

Lonnie,

You captured the entire bar scene, dripping in all it's lonliness and created a wonderful piece here my friend!
Great rhyme scheme! Very impressive, you hit all of the right notes on this one. Each image so vivid, I felt as if I was there. You pulled me in from the start and I enjoyed each line. Bookmarked for sure! Congratulations on a most well deserved turn in the spotlight!

-LMB
xoxo

[birchpoet]

There is such brilliant and vibrant imagery here. Wonderful work. It truly took me there. Bravo!
birch

[tangerinepie]

I also must extend my admiration for this remarkale write,every stanza alive with great story telling.the ending is perfect..TY..T..

[Lonnie]

My deepest thanks to Ladymaybebaby, birchpoet, and tangerinepie for their generous comments on this poem!

[Patdolan83]

As I was reading this I forgot I was in the spotlight forum, I was just about to comment that I thought this piece is amazing and should be put in the SP...I loved this write