A thought.

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dgun
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A thought.

Post by dgun » October 30th, 2012, 12:33 am

When I compare you to a star, it’s not a simple metaphor referring to your radiance, but a literal statement. I can see your bright beginnings in the heart of a collapsing sun.

It loosed atoms that would travel through time and space changing and evolving.
Eventually, after a long time, they formed back into a celestial body, which contained all the brilliance the sun formerly held. It spent an eon transforming into you.
So you truly are a star shining ever on the horizon.
Sometimes obscured to me, but always there.

As Carl Sagan once said, “We are a way for the universe to know itself.”
If confused in some aspects, at least the universe has found one small way in which to understand part of it’s self. The universe has found me to understand you, and in doing so, its own glimmering and enchanted beauty is illuminated in the dark.



JohnFeddeler
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Re: A thought.

Post by JohnFeddeler » October 30th, 2012, 3:02 am

now that is a bold & romantic statement. it's odd that Shakespeare once wrote "my mistress's eyes are nothing like the sun', since that opposes his 'what light through yonder window breaks?' passage in 'Romeo and Juliet.'...


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everhopeful
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Re: A thought.

Post by everhopeful » October 31st, 2012, 2:58 pm

What an opening line! Many poets would give their eye teeth for a line like that!
The rest of this prose poem doesn't disappoint either, and I love the way the ending manages to stay true to the central theme while relating all the way back to narrator and subject matter.
Outstanding work, I am seriously impressed.



Psyteth
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Re: A thought.

Post by Psyteth » October 31st, 2012, 4:33 pm

That was brilliantly written. What others would attempt and teeter upon cliche with some of what you said.. it was done creatively, honestly and poetically strong.

Well done, this has inspired me.


I was always dark, with light somewhere in the distance.

dgun
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Re: A thought.

Post by dgun » November 1st, 2012, 1:12 am

I'm honored by your comments, truly. Thanks so much!



BarryC
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Re: A thought.

Post by BarryC » December 3rd, 2012, 2:27 am

This is great-I can only echo the above



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songofmeadow
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Re: A thought.

Post by songofmeadow » December 3rd, 2012, 5:39 am

I am speechless, the simplicity of language belies the range to which the theme takes the reader, exceptional, meadow


Remember, 3 replies for every poem you post!!


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ladymaybebaby
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Re: A thought.

Post by ladymaybebaby » December 3rd, 2012, 8:41 am

Kind of speechless, so thank goodness I am typing! Such grand language and I love and appreciate a beautiful prose like piece. You set a high standard on this one, congratulations on the spotlight!

-LMB
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Sasha
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Re: A thought.

Post by Sasha » December 4th, 2012, 8:18 am

Oh my! That's, that's beyond wonderful, that's all I have to say for now, and definitely will bookmark it!
Congratulations!!

Sash



oortcloudtwo
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Re: A thought.

Post by oortcloudtwo » December 5th, 2012, 11:52 pm

The poetry of reality is, indeed, more beautiful than anything even the most imaginative swan songs our minds could conceive of. This piece reminds me of that remarkable monologue by Dr. Manhattan in Alan Moore's "Watchmen", and is equally as poignant and well crafted. Exceptional work, and a well-deserved spotlight.


You bring something irreplaceable to each and every day.
Or you used to anyway.
But this world couldn't hold you
And you slipped free
Yeah this world couldn't hold you
And you slipped free
Without me.


--RIP Jamie "ApocalypticJay" Mason

Whiskurz
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Re: A thought.

Post by Whiskurz » December 6th, 2012, 5:19 pm

Beautiful.......Congrats on the spotlight........Whisk



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everhopeful
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Re: A thought.

Post by everhopeful » December 7th, 2012, 1:49 pm

I enjoyed the re-read of this one, it's stated in a relatively understated way when you consider the grandeur of the subject matter, and I still love that opening!
Congratulations on the spotlight.



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the quiet poet
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Re: A thought.

Post by the quiet poet » January 9th, 2013, 2:09 pm

awwweee cute haha, loved it :)


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Sasha
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Re: A thought.

Post by Sasha » January 24th, 2013, 3:53 am

Ah, such a stunning work! I'll never get tired of re-reading it. Enjoyable, endearning, and so well put together. I truly love it, as you can tell by now, heh.

Congrats again!

Sash



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