Splintered Heart - Gooseberry & Ladymaybebaby

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gooseberry
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Splintered Heart - Gooseberry & Ladymaybebaby

Post by gooseberry » October 31st, 2012, 6:05 pm

You sucked the spirit from me,
like all the best drugs do.
Five years of my life, lost and stolen;
you just stuffed them in your back pocket,
with the rest of your useless receipts.

You always said our harsh words
didn’t mean war. Just mind games turned
into a dance of gentle persuasion.
I was brain washed, all sterile and
blatantly confused. I buried our memories
in antique wood. My own ‘no hope’ chest,
where dreams never come true.

The light faded in your heart too soon,
when I still lit candles for us both,
that fizzled out,leaving whisps of smoke,
dying on a bitter breeze,like the ghosts
of our mortal love.The tear-stained
leaves of autumn,dripped with our
sad goodbyes,when this poet's muse
became the solitary confinement
of a martyr.

A blank heart speaks through mute lips,
I'm numb like chilled Novacain as I
wait for the world to end. This love
is now nothing more than foggy mirrors
and stale smoke. My earth is flat and
rugged. I'm perched on the side of
the Atlantic, ready to fall in. Drowning on
my side of the pond seems like
nothing more than cruel justice.


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karrie
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Re: Splintered Heart - Gooseberry & Ladymaybebaby

Post by karrie » November 1st, 2012, 6:35 am

There is such a lovely sadness to this. The last stanza especially shook me. Great write!



gooseberry
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Re: Splintered Heart - Gooseberry & Ladymaybebaby

Post by gooseberry » November 1st, 2012, 4:37 pm

Many thanks Karrie,that last stanza is all Robin's...beautiful isn't it :smile:


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tangerinepie
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Re: Splintered Heart - Gooseberry & Ladymaybebaby

Post by tangerinepie » November 6th, 2012, 7:00 am

Hello to you both,
This was an increible write,just blended with such harmony, but more than that the writing was so fine and I felt teary, because it reached out with some things I have been feeling lately.This was just perfect..TY..T..


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astroannie
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Re: Splintered Heart - Gooseberry & Ladymaybebaby

Post by astroannie » November 14th, 2012, 4:41 am

This is a slice-of-someone's-life type thing. The feelings of the protagonist are well-described and you two drew me in with it. The matter-of-factness of the the first stanza especially moved it to that level. Well done.


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Re: Splintered Heart - Gooseberry & Ladymaybebaby

Post by everhopeful » January 18th, 2013, 3:07 pm

I like the style of this, I read it as a back and forth narrative between two speakers, playing upon each others mutual disappointments and despair, even though they were the cause of each other's pain.
I think you got the tone of this just right too, it's understated and without overblown sentiments, just a honest and realistic portrayal of a division between former lovers.



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