Robbie

[Dew]

Robbie ran beside my bike upon the cool asphalt
My bike chain broke from lack of care; I know it was my fault
I yelled at him to run ahead although he was my pet
He would not go and so I screamed until he left upset

He ran into the road before a truck that did not halt
He hit the ground and slid around; it was my fault, my fault
In my mind I see confusion fill his head with ‘why?’
Why did my master order me to run ahead and die?

I begged the sky to let him live; I filled their ears with salt
He did not live; he died that day; my fault, my fault, my fault
They took him from me for I was a poor and thoughtless friend
They took him so I could not lead him to a much worse end

Robbie left me to confront a grief and guilt-assault
And my own pain, it was my fault, my fault, my fault, my fault
And everybody else’s pain, that was my fault as well
So when they cried I always knew who brought about their hell

In ages since I still hold in that secret of his vault
It’s all my fault, it’s all my fault, my fault, my fault, my fault
His family is broken still and not who they should be
Robbie could have made them whole, the fault belongs to me

Why do I cry so much for him, why does my grief not end?
Robbie was no pet; he was a person and my friend

[Note: Robbie was not a dog...the reason for the pet reference is to express the writer's wish to make the story untrue and to suggest the power of denial]

[QuietAstronomer]

Dewie - I know that pain.
You eloquently portrayed the grief, the loss, the guilt associated with such an event.
Well done, my good and worthy friend.

QA

[Chelle]

while by the note i know he isn't...i can't help but think about Fancy.

Fancy was a puppy I received for my 4th birthday. She was my dog and I made sure she had food, water, and was let out. I walked her, and taught her how to do things. She lived until I was 21 and was probably my best friend in the whole world. I made the appt to have her put down. I drove her there with her in my lap. I took her and handed her to some unknown person. And I let them take her back-alone. I couldn't bear to watch her go. And so, she probably spent her last moments afraid and alone because of my cowardice. But I hope she was grateful that I had spared her the indignity and the pain of more years living as she was.

Sorry but I have to go cry now.

[SirFleshwound]

Wow, the first thought this conjured in my mind is of the human capacity to invest blame and let it build like a cancer within. It is the essential trait that makes us compassionate and human...the willingness to suppress ones own happiness by taking on emotional burden. Guilt is a terrible double edged sword..destructive to the sufferer, yet without it what despicable creatures we would be. Your work is always of high quality and thought provoking.

[everhopeful]

The content of this alone would be enough to inspire a very emotive reaction from any reader, no matter how you presented it, yet the poetic use of form, and other tropes, make the effect even more profound. The increase in the repetition of 'my fault' adds to the feeling of someone confronting their past and as they delve deeper, the sense of guilt is more striking and more gut-wrenching.
Excellent ending to this one, playing upon the pet image created earlier in the poem.
Very well penned.

[musie]

Oh well, you did it! A very well written piece from your pen Dew....I don't read you as much as I should and for that I apologize....this got my guilt going over a similar situation in my life from year's ago..and it is so difficult to let go of the guilt....we just have a tendency to ruminate so much I guess maybe it's a part of being human, but it's history and learning how to let it go, is the most difficult part. And what happened for me, was truly Tragic indeed.....and senseless....Thank you for sharing...Musie

[Michelle]

You are fab at this writing lark Dew. This was so well weaved so entirely poignant. I read your note and that just empahasised even more the skill of your mind and pen.
Wow!
M :)

[ladymaybebaby]

I sat the whole time thinking of poor little Robbie the pup and how horrible for the both of you and remembered my childhood friends dog being rolled over by their Dad one morning accidentally of course. It was awful and this piece had me in tears over the memory. When I got to the end and read the a/n I shook my head back and forth and said " damn his genious!"

Really Dew you came up with such a clever twist that worked on everyone of us. Thanks for the message my friend! Brilliant... I usually avoid this board for so many reasons, but for some reason I clicked on it today and this is my only read...makes me think!

-Robin
xoxo

[ladymaybebaby]

Dew,

I just left my longish reply about this piece and how much I enjoyed it, so here it is in it's rightful place.
Congratulations my friend on a well deserved spotlight choice, I was a great piece. Like I said before, it was so well developed, after we all cried our puppy dog tears! So put your ribbon next to your turkey and enjoy!

-Robin
xoxo

[nortan223]

Dew,this was so powerful. The images you created, both physical and mental, were so vivid. The repetition and relentless drive of the rhythm almost amounted to poetic "sobbing". I could add more, but so much has been said in the other comments, that I don't need to elaborate any further....except to congratulate you on getting the Spotlight.

Norman

[SwingingPistol]

This was heart wrenching, Dew. I must first comment on your rhyme scheme - flawless and definitely aids to the message of the poem, kind of like what Norman said above, "poetic sobbing", if you will. It's powerful. This was so saddening to read. Congratulations on the Spotlight.

[songofmeadow]

Palpable anguish from the narrator and I found the structure of the poem allowed moments for the reader to draw on similarities and consider the blame culture in detail. Definite spolight material here Dew, meadow

[Lonnie]

This is a very emotional write that leaves one with empathy and sadness for your loss. You have captured well the essence of the departed soul and made us all aware of your pain! Very well done!

[flux]

Well done, truly, this poem deserves to be in the spotlight. I began to wonder if this was about a beloved pet when I reached the end, the haunting power of the remorse suggested something more. That is what strikes me most here, the way you express the power of that grief, the repetition helps us understand the nature of enduring regret.

[tangerinepie]

I am sorry Dew, but I got stuck on the "doggy thing", and sort of got hung up there, despite your explanation.It had a wonderful message tucked in there, and evocative writing that had us all running for Kleenex.{ I also have cried buckets over losing precious dogs, as I have always owned dogs}.An innovative poem that deserves this highlight..TY..T..

[Marsha]

Congratulations! God will forgive you if you just ask. You did not intend for this to happen to your friend.
Forgive yourself; that's who you have to live with.

[LiLpencil]

Dew,
What an honor to behold such beauty. I feel that any reply I may tender will not be worthy of your work or your pain. All I can give is a heart-felt thank you for sharing. Lil p

[inflames]

Congrats on the spotlight! This is a lovely, touching poem that definitely has a great sense of detachment, yet it brings the reader in so close. Well done with this.

[everhopeful]

I don't want to sound like a broken record, but the form and structure of this were brilliant, they gave you the platform to make the narrative hit hard, making for a wonderful marriage of style and substance.
Glad to re-read this, notwithstanding the emotive content, and in this board especially.
Congratulations on the spotlight!