Pain and fear
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Although I see light
Pain and fear holds me tightly
Deep within the dark
Pain and fear holds me tightly
Deep within the dark
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Re: Pain and fear
Felt like being held against my will...with the hand of darkness over my mouth so no one could hear my cries for help...great work...Dew
- astroannie
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Re: Pain and fear
this is so plaintive. It's like the raccoon trap (or monkey trap or other critter depending on your locale). The hole is big enough to put the empty hand through, but not big enough to bring the food out.
If at first you don't succeed, try second, third, or shortstop.
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Re: Pain and fear
This poem can apply to so many things. It resonated deep and was simple but complex. Fabulous work.
- songofmeadow
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Re: Pain and fear
How one reads this, especially L2 can be altered and read into as the reader wishes, there lies its success - well done g'splat! meadow
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Re: Pain and fear
I think this is my biography! So well done, I love it!!! Congratulations a well deserved spotlight choice!
-R
xoxo
-R
xoxo
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Re: Pain and fear
Profound 'ku! It's like holding into the light, and overpowered by pain and fear in its absence.
So well worded! Congrats on the spotlight!
Sash
So well worded! Congrats on the spotlight!
Sash
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Re: Pain and fear
I have to agree with what both songofmeadow and Sasha have said about this piece Godsplat....I can see why it made the Spotlight...CONGRATULATIONS my friend....Musie
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Re: Pain and fear
It is deceptively simple; no grand language or gimmicky rhyme scheme (I didn't even notice\ that it was a haiku until reading the comments) but an honest musing of both personal and universally-applied anxiety. That inner void we all feel from time to time. A splendid write and well worth the spotlight. Congrats.
You bring something irreplaceable to each and every day.
Or you used to anyway.
But this world couldn't hold you
And you slipped free
Yeah this world couldn't hold you
And you slipped free
Without me.
--RIP Jamie "ApocalypticJay" Mason
Or you used to anyway.
But this world couldn't hold you
And you slipped free
Yeah this world couldn't hold you
And you slipped free
Without me.
--RIP Jamie "ApocalypticJay" Mason
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Re: Pain and fear
This is something I too have felt.......Bravo my friend......and Congrats on the spotlight........Whisk
Whether a Gift or a Curse, We Write!
Thank you for your comments!
- Josie
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Re: Pain and fear
The second line opens up a lot of possibilities. What is the source of light? If you were living alone and suddenly saw a light, it would be scary. You would not want to make any noise or draw attentions to yourself. There are so many scenarios, but that was my first reaction. Cheers on your spotlight recognition.
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Re: Pain and fear
A very heavy tone to this one, mainly derived from the contrast between what is seen and what is felt, makes for an impactful piece of poetry. I'm no expert on the nuances of the form, I do appreciate well crafted minimalist verse like this.
Congratulations on the spotlight.
Congratulations on the spotlight.
- Jovel320
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Re: Pain and fear
This gave me the same sensation as the walking in quicksand nightmare. Well done~~!
Jovel
Jovel