My Longing & A Dream

[Psyteth]

I'm at odds with voices that have no words. I like to call them prayers without restraint. but they know little of this ink before they suffocate in crumpled heaps and ride the breeze that holds me so. I am so close to the littlest of things, I became small just to fit the frame. Though the longer I sought after a masterpiece, I find I die before my time runs out. Life is too long to always be longing. These words fornicate with the sparks beneath my eyelids and birth a stinging truth when it meets my heart. I must believe it to be as i will it to life upon this nurtured page.

I had a dream last night, one that didn't include music from my childhood or recycled memories I play out in more favorable outcomes to avoid my awakening. I recall walking through a field of tall grass that warmly hugged my knee caps and for the first time, the breeze wasnt insignificant and ran with precision. It felt like my grandmothers kiss against my cheek and the grass, my grandfather holding me up from my constant fallings in life. When I awoke, I remembered poetry the way I did when i was a teenager. A simple image and a beautiful feeling intensified and fueling the moment long enough to meet me once more, here, on this paper by my hands alone.

These are the subtle moments that are milestones for the soul. When i can catch them, I picture a boy in the night, catching fireflies in his hands. Both of us cupping a glimmer of hope or reassurance.. And for a split second, I smile here alone and not alone, forgetting for a short time what it was I was so desperately longing for.

[Psyteth]

A little backdrop... I've been under so much stress these days, I've gone beyond writers block and found myself physically aching at the concept of writing. But i think of it everyday, and carry a pen and a scrap sheet to always have on hand. I started to feel like a wanna poet or a silhouette of myself. I find myself scares of whether or not I even have a skill for it.. I can't pinpoint why.

The other night though I had that dream.. my grandfather died atleast 4 years ago.. my grandmother 2 years ago. Im spiritual more then i have ever been before, but have never had any validation or comfort from their memory. There is a lot of guilt I attach to their deaths. Unwarranted though. I am prone to night terrors and suffer insomnia and i can say this dream roused me in tears and it was a profound moment for me, and for some reason felt them in it.. and for once a sense of closure and it drove me to speak on it.

This poem may not be a hit to some, but I was just proud I was able to complete it. So i hope you all can enjoy it as much as I did. It was a cathartic freewrite that cleansed a lot od harbored sadness towards death and my own sadness I have accumulated over time.

Wow I'm sorry for the long commentary, lol.. but it saves from any questions and was a time I felt I wanted to five a little insight to certain specifics of this piece.

[musie]

A little backdrop... I've been under so much stress these days, I've gone beyond writers block and found myself physically aching at the concept of writing. But i think of it everyday, and carry a pen and a scrap sheet to always have on hand. I started to feel like a wanna poet or a silhouette of myself. I find myself scares of whether or not I even have a skill for it.. I can't pinpoint why.

The other night though I had that dream.. my grandfather died atleast 4 years ago.. my grandmother 2 years ago. Im spiritual more then i have ever been before, but have never had any validation or comfort from their memory. There is a lot of guilt I attach to their deaths. Unwarranted though. I am prone to night terrors and suffer insomnia and i can say this dream roused me in tears and it was a profound moment for me, and for some reason felt them in it.. and for once a sense of closure and it drove me to speak on it.

This poem may not be a hit to some, but I was just proud I was able to complete it. So i hope you all can enjoy it as much as I did. It was a cathartic freewrite that cleansed a lot od harbored sadness towards death and my own sadness I have accumulated over time.

Wow I'm sorry for the long commentary, lol.. but it saves from any questions and was a time I felt I wanted to five a little insight to certain specifics of this piece.

WoW! In my opinion this piece warrant's a Spotlight! I just read my own story, we are of kindred soul's...I too have been "aching to write" and I just can't seem to get my pen to move....This impacted me greatly and was inspirational in the passion that it exude's...I loved the detailed imagery of the dream. And the first and last paragraph's of this prose were masterfully and powerfully written in my mind...Absolutely LOVE THIS PIECE from your pen....EXALT! Musie
P.S. I too must share that I am experiencing anniversary's of lost loved one's during the Holiday Season...it's so difficult, but I just try to Cherish the memory's and garner the Wisdom the loss has brought to my Spirituality as well...

[Psyteth]

Wow, thank you so much music, I deeply appreciate the fact you not only enjoyed it, but could find some connection through it as well. It's flattering and comforting to me just for that reply alone. :-)

Not sure if some can agree, but i try to write less on the computer and pen it in full. I find I'm forced to take ny time and my language and cohesive side to the language and the flow improves because of it. Then as i type it up, I can add or tweak if needed. Im a free-writer but the older I get, the more at ease I find the steps to the craft and newfound respect and you can't help but tend to some pieces you know part od the way through will be special to you and the inner nurterer comes out lol.

Maybe it just comes with age, or natural writer evolution.. or you hit a moment you want to feel you go from just a writer to a poet.

It's easy I think to read someone's words and see where in their heart it is still just a hobby, or a full on passionate love affair.

My apologies for the ramble lol

[flux]

The thoughtful wording of your poem made an impression on me, and later, as I read on, I realised the poem itself reconnects you with your most fundamental reasons for writing: you move past the intellectual reasons for writing and connect with your emotions.

[Jahaliel]

To read of your struggles and your dreams touched me as much as this piece did. There's something spiritual and moving about your writing here, something that for me speaks to the soul within us all and gives us comfort, I love the idea of alone but not alone, that last phrase will stick with me for a long time.

[sicksoul]

Congratulations on the Spotlight, it's been far too long since I've read your work sir. Coming back to see you still writing puts a smile on my face all on its own. I've dealt with writers block during times when I felt I needed to purge my thoughts and emotions the most and I can really understand that struggle. I tend to agree that writing via pen and paper comes more naturally.. it seems more real. Beautiful work, and I'm glad you found that turning point in your life.

[Jahaliel]

So pleased to see this in the Spotlight, reading it again I echo my above comment, there's something truly beautiful about this piece that resonates with me. Congrats!

[Dew]

I adored some of the imagery you used...especially grass hugging kneecaps...the sight and feeling wrapped me up in my imagination! Awesome! - Dew

[ladymaybebaby]

First Congratulations on the spotlight, it is much deserved! Now, for someone who was aching to write - your pen totally shine in this piece! The aptly titled longing and a dream, was spot on! You captured both in a most brillant way. I am thrilled that I had the pleasure to read this piece, I loved it! So well done!

-LMB
xoxo

[Rassy48]

Psyteth,
Naturally, I congratulate you on your "Spotlight" placement. More so, I congratulate you on your courage and self-will to see this write through to its completion and share it with us. I can't imagine the inner agony through which you must have gone. One of my favorites is " I remembered poetry the way I did when i was a teenager. A simple image and a beautiful feeling intensified and fueling the moment long enough to meet me once more, here, on this paper by my hands alone." This truly is "a milestone for you and your soul." Absolutely wonderful!
Joanne

[TheSoundOfSoul]

A very touching and emotion piece, it really hit home for me. It was sad and yet has some hope in it too, with some deep and very real emotions. Very deserving of a spotlight, congrats and great work!

[tangerinepie]

Hi..Something about Ontario poets..LOL..I felt privileged to read this fantastic write, it truly felt spiritual, and the writing so convincing and direct..Wonderful highlight choice..Tangie..

[dornicks]

A worthwhile read and deserving of the spotlight. Congratulations to you,

dornicks

[musie]

Wow, thank you so much music, I deeply appreciate the fact you not only enjoyed it, but could find some connection through it as well. It's flattering and comforting to me just for that reply alone. :-)

Not sure if some can agree, but i try to write less on the computer and pen it in full. I find I'm forced to take ny time and my language and cohesive side to the language and the flow improves because of it. Then as i type it up, I can add or tweak if needed. Im a free-writer but the older I get, the more at ease I find the steps to the craft and newfound respect and you can't help but tend to some pieces you know part od the way through will be special to you and the inner nurterer comes out lol.

Maybe it just comes with age, or natural writer evolution.. or you hit a moment you want to feel you go from just a writer to a poet.

It's easy I think to read someone's words and see where in their heart it is still just a hobby, or a full on passionate love affair.

My apologies for the ramble lol

And I'll be darned, here you are in the Spotlight you and your magnificent pen....I KNEW IT! LOL...CONGRATULATIONS! Musie

[everhopeful]

Perhaps a case of art imitating life, imitating art? The second paragraph is excellent, I love how significant it was to the narrator as well as how it proved conclusively that the connection to poetry had been fully rediscovered.
I know I've mentioned before that you write in such a profound and engaging way about the writing process itself, yet I must also add that it feels to me like writing is much more than a hobby to you, it's a way of life.
Congratulations on the spotlight.

[Chelle]

To be honest I think I chose this not only for the excellent writing but also because I am sort of going through this myself at the moment. I lift a pen and nothing comes out. Or if it does, I think it's crap and it never sees the light of day. I don't know how to get myself through or out of it-I'm so focused on everything else. And yet, I am still writing, just not poetry because I can't stop.

[Suoaei]

This review is a little scattered, and I apologize for that; I can't seem to organize my thoughts today.

These words I found to be so beautiful, and so perfectly fitting for the piece: "my grandmothers kiss against my cheek and the grass, my grandfather holding me up"
They brought up inside me thoughts of ancestors, of present shaped by the past, and every one of our lives being the result of a long history of family going back beyond memory, indeed the result of the billions of years of existence that brought us to this reality, here and now.
I love that this piece is not a poem but a direct communication, a pure expression of words in sentence form just as though you were speaking aloud. And what incredibly powerful words, the sum of every day of frustration and grief consolidated into that moment of awakening from a dream.
"milestones for the soul"... I've never heard this particular feeling twisted so perfectly into words. Life's journey, guidance from the dream self, those moments of perfect knowing that everything is alright after all.
From your heart to mine, your words have entered my being and I feel sure that they will work their small changes in me. Thank you very much for sharing them.

[whubbard7]

Wow, incredibly well written, great imagery, and a great connection to myself. Everything you wrote was perfectly put into words. It's pretty obvious you are an expert at this kind of stuff. Pretty much awesome and obvious why you got spotlighted.

[Psyteth]

Oh wow....

I had not even noticed it being moved.

I swear I almost welled up by all the wonderful comments.. I don't know what to say. I always found the pieces nearest and dearest to my heart are less favoured by readers.. not sure if others have felt that way but Iam overwhelmed with happy thoughts to see how much others enjoyed this as much as I love it and somewhat hurt writing it.

Thank you for the spotlight and the kind words. Thank you thank.you thank you!