Tears of the Seamstress

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SirFleshwound
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Tears of the Seamstress

Post by SirFleshwound » December 29th, 2012, 4:08 am

Woven within her tangled loom,
lay passions fraying threads.
Drunken spinning bobs and spinnakers
totter to the toil.
Filaments of gossamer
tease a thousand unmade beds.
A patchwork of discrete delight
o’er silken sheets but once despoiled.

A needle prick draws fathoms deep,
a well of crimson pearls.
Soothed, she salved the bitter kiss
to taste the copper tang.
Weaving dreams and swirling gowns,
in hearts of younger girls.
Pretty though the pattern be, t’was
never meant for older hands.

Exquisite this fabric seems, until
the stitch of time decays.
Now the weary candle wanes in
slow esteem of nightly fear.
The Seamstress cuts the cloth no more as
fleeting fashion fades away.
Dressed and draped in sequins
rendered bitter by her tears.



ladylilith
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Re: Tears of the Seamstress

Post by ladylilith » December 29th, 2012, 12:36 pm

This is so beatuifully wrought. I was utterly taken with the whole conept of it. Rich and vibrant imagery that paints such a sad and sombre kind of tale... It's just lovely! If 'lovely' can be used to describe a poem in the Sadness board! Heh. Really really impressive work.

Lily^^


"The night is dark and full of terrors."

queenjellybean
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Re: Tears of the Seamstress

Post by queenjellybean » December 30th, 2012, 3:54 am

I am so impressed by this piece! The well-rounded diction (using "filament" is not an easy feat, yet it flowed effortlessly in this), impactful emotion, and fabulous metaphor all came together to form an amazing poem. You did a great job with creating a meaningful metaphor, drawing it out and using word choice that relates to it. The sounds in this piece also caught my attention, the alliteration is superb in this. Exceptional piece, and congrats on the spotlight. I look forward to rereading this over and over again.



flux
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Re: Tears of the Seamstress

Post by flux » December 30th, 2012, 9:09 am

Hi, I enjoyed this, words flow smoothly together and the varied rhythm make this a lyrical poem. Really admired your choice of words, too, and the colourful imagery.


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moe
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Re: Tears of the Seamstress

Post by moe » December 30th, 2012, 9:47 am

Well I must say I'm impressed this has a je'nais sa quo about it. Something I cannot quite grasp. But wonderfully and richly done. Reminds me of the Greek myth about the Three Fates.



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Rassy48
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Re: Tears of the Seamstress

Post by Rassy48 » December 30th, 2012, 10:18 am

SFW,
I cannot find words to describe the beauty in your sadness. As said above, a wonderful metaphoric tale with words inner-woven as if by the Seamtress herself. One can only image the tears inner-woven, as well. Your last stanza is my favorite, as it just finishes the weave in a perfect and sad manner, as was meant to do. Exceptional imagery. My congrats on be chosen for "The Spotlight".
Joanne


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ladymaybebaby
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Re: Tears of the Seamstress

Post by ladymaybebaby » December 30th, 2012, 11:32 am

A most lovely piece rich in extended metaphor just dripping with a beautiful sadness, the images your words painted were sometimes haunting, sometimes lonely... I found myself lost amongst the diction and floating scenery that I totally became a part of. The hallmark of a brilliant write! My most heartfelt congratulations on the spotlight choice, shine bright this week!

-LMB
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ladylilith
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Re: Tears of the Seamstress

Post by ladylilith » December 30th, 2012, 1:09 pm

Rockin!! I'm so glad this was Spotlighted!!!

I loved it yesterday and I still love it on a second read today!!

Bravo! And congratulations of the well deserved spotlight.

Lily^^


"The night is dark and full of terrors."

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songofmeadow
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Re: Tears of the Seamstress

Post by songofmeadow » December 31st, 2012, 7:00 am

The emphasis on emotion through metaphor is what makes this such compelling reading, it is so well done as is the intricate detail, what a beautifully woven poem, congrats on the spot SirF, meadow


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tangerinepie
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Re: Tears of the Seamstress

Post by tangerinepie » January 1st, 2013, 1:34 pm

A woeful tale, told with an old world Quality that I really enjoy seeing.The realities of changing times befalls us all.An absorbing spotlight choice..Well done..T..


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Sasha
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Re: Tears of the Seamstress

Post by Sasha » January 1st, 2013, 5:01 pm

Outstanding piece of poetry!
The rich diction and vivid imagery weave such beautiful saddening poem. A poem that deserves to be spotlighted and appreciated.
Thank you alot for sharing, and Congrats on the Spotlight!

Sash



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Ladywildalice
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Re: Tears of the Seamstress

Post by Ladywildalice » January 2nd, 2013, 7:39 am

Extended Metaphors that carry a piece for the entire length are difficult to pull off for many, but you achieved it with great panache. This is marvelous and very enviable. I so enjoyed it. Great work and congratulations on the spotlight. Very well deserved.


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karrie
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Re: Tears of the Seamstress

Post by karrie » January 3rd, 2013, 12:24 am

Such a beautiful write! Congratulations on the spotlight :smile:



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Re: Tears of the Seamstress

Post by inflames » January 3rd, 2013, 10:57 am

Love this. The double meaning in the title (and poem) is awesome! Well done! Congrats on your spotlight!



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Raltn12
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Re: Tears of the Seamstress

Post by Raltn12 » January 3rd, 2013, 1:21 pm

love the use of metaphor..... love the tale you spun..... great description


Ty for sharing a piece of your heart and mind
Raltn12'

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Re: Tears of the Seamstress

Post by wendellgee » January 3rd, 2013, 1:23 pm

Anguish found in a truer place than more horrific poems. Or at least, I'm surprised by how a relatively gentle poem could emanate so much pain.



khurram
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Re: Tears of the Seamstress

Post by khurram » January 4th, 2013, 4:10 pm

Neat poem. Enjoyed reading.



musie
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Re: Tears of the Seamstress

Post by musie » January 6th, 2013, 9:11 am

Sirfleshwound~This indeed was an exquisite piece from your pen, with gorgeous imagery and a woven piece of perfection in it's metaphor and tale telling...There is not doubt as to why this was chosen for the Spotlight....CONGRATULATIONS! Truly an enjoyable read...Musie


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