Cold Snap (mild language)

[scapegrace]

I.
I remember the cold snap
mid December of 82'
standing atop Rancher's Hill
holding hands with you.
Watching those blue-black clouds roll in
and set upon the earth
a roiling leviathan.
How equilibrium was roundhouse kicked into oblivion
when they descended on the fields around us
like waves and warfare.
I recall palm against palm, fingers intertwined
in a deathgrip design of dread and delight
as from the east the winds came howling-
A b----- banshee, her voltaic berth
tearing around us
rending our tender flesh.
But I swear I never felt a thing
because the storm I saw brewing in your eyes that day
and the moment
you turned and smiled at me,
Dear God I never knew...

II.
I remember that afternoon
early April of 89'
spent slogging through the mud and jetsam
in the aftermath of the flood that
swept through like a surge of shameless thieves
in broad daylight.
The muggy pull of the earth, how it smelled
like long days ahead and irrefutable defeat.
And how in an instant I was
transported back to that day
six years ago
when for no discernable reason at all
I pushed you as you were picking bloated books,
and a broken picture frame
from the wreckage.
That same flash of some wild
white-hot frenzy
straining against the confines of your eyes.
Standing up, books still in hand,
your glasses askew,
mud streaked across the right side of your face;
a handprint tattoo.
You stood there like a scholarly warrior
in his tribal wasteland
with a mien of penance and thunder,
when you finally smiled at me...
Dear God, in that moment I will forever drown in you.

III.
I remember last August
before you ran into thin air and dematerialized matter,
before you tore the earth from beneath me
like a lunatic magician
with a hardhat and wrecking ball sized scissors.
Before you became this...
this impenetrable absence,
this force of indefinites and obsoletes.
Before you became you without me
and before I became me without you
without sanity, without purpose, without reason,
without grasp or scope, or measure without meaning,
without significance to perceive
without you I AM GRIEF!
But...
I remember what you said to me:

"Last December
I met someone,
a good girl from back home,
her name is not important, and no it's no one you may have known."
"We met up there on Rancher's Hill and sledded down the side,
what happened next I won't repeat, just know I will not hide.
Trust me baby, I promise you
it meant nothing in the end."

I remember thinking then-
Dear God, I guess you never knew...

[Chelle]

WOW. simply wow. I cant help but sit here thinking that anything i say would ever do this justice. simply put-well done and take a bow.

[::SAGA::]

Defintely a WOW... Once again a masterful piece! The OM was missing you and you have returned like the Phoenix. Thank you for coming back...that's all I can say, a truly special read.

::S::

[Aurellionsnew]

Heart wrenching tale. So well spilt upon the page. I agree not much to say other than awesome and wow. Thanks for sharing!

Aurellion

[oortcloudtwo]

Holy. Righteous. Christ.

You dispensed with your usual tender brushstrokes and went full-on Jackson Pollock in this one. And it paid of BIG TIME. Not only does the emotion come down like an electrified Volcanic storm, but there are moments you captured in this piece that are so raw and believable that I would be hard pressed not to believe that they happened exactly as you told them. For example:

"Standing up, books still in hand,
your glasses askew,
mud streaked across the right side of your face;
a handprint tattoo."

I BELIEVE that. You breathed life into minutia and that is what makes poetry--at least in my opinion--truly and genuinely special. You have demonstrated a flair for this so expertly and empathetical that you would be a fool not to continue to explore this further. Fantastic. Simply fantastic.

[Baywriter]

Totally agree. I think this is a VERY good poem, one of the best I've read on this site in a loooong time. It would be a real shame to let this piece remain an OM, simply because it's good. I would say to keep working on it and tackle it with an editing eye, because it's worth it. You've got something good here that could be really great. Don't waste it. I don't usually say that to people, but this impresses me, and it would literally make me sad to see an opportunity like this to go to waste.

[scapegrace]

Wow...thank you all, I don't really know how to respond to such amazing feedback, just that I'm extremely grateful and somewhat blown away. I reiterate, thanks everyone :D this poem has been swimming around my head for a long time. I'm proud it was received well, it's been a long time coming. The poem, not the comments hehe

[ladymaybebaby]

Mesmerizing. Totally blown away. This is poetry at it's finest! Congratulations on a most well deserved spotlight pick! Your style is nothing short of phenomenal.... I am so bookmarking this gem!

-LMB
xoxo

[songofmeadow]

Really very good and much enjoyed, I appreciate the build up particularly, well deserved on the spotlight, meadow

[inflames]

Wow. This is really awesome! I especially like the ending italics stanZa. Awesome job and congrats on your spotlight!

[everhopeful]

Excellent work - for a relatively longer piece of poetry, this was such a smooth read, incredibly easy on the eye, and penned with a descriptive flair which makes it stand out from the crowd.
The level of narrative is superb, and I love the twists and turns along the way to the ending, you played your hand so well here with a memorable conclusion.
Congratulations on the spotlight.

[CrypticCricker]

Nothing my words can say are worth even putting down, for those who spoke before have said all that matters. I simply acknowledge reading something well said, and of worth.

[musie]

I must echo all that has been said about this piece already...WoW! And OM?! This was and Exceptional piece of emotive explosion's...and most deserving of the Spotlight! CONGRATULATIONS! Musie

[scapegrace]

Thank you all sincerely for your incredibly kind words. And to whomever chose this to be in the spotlight in the first place. I am most grateful, beyond words. Thank you!

[flux]

I like the way you tell this tale, the poem unfolds in a very easy, natural way. The emotion feels real too, all the details you give us help make this real for us.

[nothingtohide]

I will agree with everyone else, WOW! This piece had me with the first line and kept me on the edge right up to the very end. Amazing! Awesome!