Jazz, I wish...

[LateRabbit]

The rhythmic inhalation of comfort serpents
hiss their way through the throat cavities of the crowd,
rattling their opaque tales just above the lips
whilst working their way to the pulsating interior of the enthusiast.
For one final sexual frolic amongst themselves they return
to the thick jazz infused atmosphere,
dissipating amid the primitive groans of the pacing bass,
not before a little dance.

“Now that’s jumpin'!”
deflates an overly drunk but appreciative witness
as if he’d been holding in as long as possible that inevitable spasm of excitement.
His soul inflated to critical mass by the performance,
ready to pounce,
ready to bounce,
ready to announce
“Real somethin’!”
an attempt to normalise his outburst.

Bops beep twitching feet,
heads shake with the disjunct beat.
Spent blowers stare moon eyed towards the abyss
listening to their successors chase that hidden motif.

This is the Jazz I still wish existed,
where passion for the chord is the motivator.
Continuous torrents flowing in search of that hidden seed,
the subterranean potential begging to breath.

Too young to know it first hand
and restrained by the binding that is England.
My only option is to live it through someone else
who’s lived and died before my genes had a chance.
Looking through marijuana tinted eyes
visualising the delight that is Miles,
his typewriter breath
punctuating what it is to hear
that sapling
grow.

[Chelle]

Very good! Welcome to TPS and I sincerely hope you will post more if this is any indication of your abilities. Had to say, i felt like i was in a club somewhere down in Orleans listening to Davis and Coltrane...love it.

[Jahaliel]

I love Jazz, love Goodman, Davis, Coltrane... This was very well done, there's a passion and a rhythm to it that breathes the essence of jazz itself. Nice work, much enjoyed.

[ladylilith]

This is a really slick piece of Open Mic work! I really appreciate the layout and structure of this, as well as the content of course! It's got real rhythm to it and it's just so fab to read. I truly look forward to reading more from you.

Lily^^

[LateRabbit]

Thanks everyone for such complimentary comments, it really gave me a buzz reading them especially since I'm in no way experienced at writing poetry. I only hope I can sustain if not improve the bar in future poems.

Thanks again and I hope you are all having a wonderful holiday period where ever you may be!

- LR

[ladymaybebaby]

Hi and welcome to TPS! And congratulations on the spotlight pick, very impressive and most deserved! I live in New Orleans, born and raised. So as I read this piece, right off the bat I was hooked. It held a special place in my heart. I can drive ten miles and listen to the greatest jazz music anytime I want to! So I was a bit proud of my city! I mean seriously our airport is named Louis Armstrong Int'l Airport! Oh and my fave movie is Jerry Maguire so extra kudos to the mention of Davis and Coltrane! Plus it was an OM piece, how cool is that?
Excellent work... You should visit this town if you get the chance!

-LMB
xoxo

[blueinferno07]

Welcome to TPS and congrats on an unquestionably deserved spotlight! The language of this piece was sumptuous and flowed so effortlessly it was almost unbelievable. I'm sure a lot of people can really relate to that deep yearning for a bygone era that seems to be lost to the passage of time. I could feel those tasty jazz beats the writer seems to revel in, there's real passion in the imagery of the piece. This really just blew me away. Congrats again!

[LMR]

Loved it, very evocative, really captured my imagination and engaged my brain. Look forward to more. Leon

[musie]

I don't believe I've read you before, but it's easy to see why this was spotlighted...it's an exceptionally well written piece, with imagery of a jazz club spot on....the reader can truly experience it...Great work...CONGRATULATIONS! Musie

[damaso]

I love you. I love this poem. Seriously dude, god, this is f--- great I f--- love this!!!!!!!!!

[songofmeadow]

you don't have to be a jazz fan to appreciate the passion and atmosphere created, the language use is tremendous and it's easy to see why this achieved spotlight, well done, meadow

[oortcloudtwo]

I wish I could be the person I was when I first heard the sort of music that rattled my soul. I cannot imagine being on the scene when that music first dawned; being a part of the movement and sound of the moment. This poem was an awesome entwining of lyrical emotion and bittersweet poignance. To be alive and young when jazz was king, now that is a dream worth sharing and lamenting. Marvelous job on both a first poem and spotlight. Be an early bloomer who keeps on blooming.

[danielraythomason]

Absolutely brilliant. I haven't read a contemporary poem this good in a long time. Magnificent work and a much deserved spotlight.

[LateRabbit]

So I've logged in today and found that I've had this put up on the Spotlight and I'm actually gobsmacked you thought it was even worthy to be put up here!

Thank you all so much and I'm deeply humbled by such wonderful comments!

I actually have the biggest grin on my face whilst I write this and don't see it diminishing for a long time.

Again thank you all very much especially to everyone who's commented, and I'm glad you all enjoyed my work!

Gleefully yours,

- LR

[everhopeful]

I noted that you mentioned your grin while writing this, and it comes through in your poem :)
Although this is a relatively long poem compared to some, it flows very smoothly, not just in terms of rhythm but narrative progression. The two distinctive chapters, description and conclusion, make this an enjoyable take on matters through what is a keenly descriptive and creative eye.
Congratulations on the spotlight!

[inflames]

Wow. I love this. Such a fantastic write and very creatively formatted (kinda like jazz!). Awesome work! Congrats on a well deserved spotlight. :)

[ladylilith]

Oh! I'm so glad this got a chance to shine in the Spotlight. I thoroughly enjoyed it the first time round and it's not different now. Congrats!!!

Lily^^

[wendellgee]

I relate to the subject personally. Jazz had always been distant and meaningless until the right amount of marijuana and the right Miles Davis record immobilized me for an evening. Nice style, a little Borroughsesque.

[LateRabbit]

Thanks for such wonderful comments everybody, I'm thoroughly glad you all enjoyed it!
I hope in future I don't disappoint,
- LR