Flowers on the Moon

[trekay1234]

In a room filled with emptiness
A doll standing quietly doesn't see anything
Covered with thick clouds,
Her world never meets a morning...

Having no hope, she was created to live forever
Loved instead of that girl and forgotten

The illuminating blue moonlight asks
"Do you really want to stay there?"

On the land where dust dances
A boy bows as usual
Believing he can hear a skylark singing
To declare the break of dawn someday
Beyond the thick clouds...

The past he left somewhere
A voice calls him in the repeated dream
Every morning he sows to seek the infinite origin

Trees rising heavenward
A familiar voice asks
"Are you still lost in the dream?

Shutting his mind,
He is waiting for the gentle light unawakened
He keeps dreaming
Not knowing what the outside world is like
Beyond the clouds

As he had a dream
That the dark was split and the world was colored
"Hey, is this what you hope in the future?"

The doll gets her heart and runs off
To the wilderness without destination
The doll prays to the moon
With the pure heart, not knowing the world

Oh, how sweet this freedom will taste

[ladylilith]

This is certainly something different. I really like the opening of this, the doll is such a sad and slightly spooky symbol. I really enjoyed following the narrative of this piece, for me it spoke of a lost childhood, or more rediscovering the freedom and innocence of it. Real expressive work. Thank you!

Lily^^

[trekay1234]

Thank you Lily! :D

[chowzrus]

Kay - This evokes my longing to hear more from you - your magical tone and wording is beautiful and I
personally want to read more of what your heart has to say - please give - ALWAYS Love, Bill

[Zero&Ace]

I think this is amazing work. I was fully captured by your words and it speaks to me of lost innocence perhaps experiencing the world outside of a sheltered existence. I think it's magical as well. :)

[trekay1234]

Oh gosh, thank you very much <3

[ladymaybebaby]

Congratulations on the spotlight pick of the week, it is much deserved! What a unique and melancholy piece. To think of the toys, with voices and feelings... wishing for something more beyond sitting on a shelf or lying in a toy box! Well done!

-LMB
xoxo

[SirDaniel]

What a world it would be if toys could take the thoughts and feelings of those who play with them.. This write really is imaginative and full of imagery. Much enjoyed, congratulations on the Spotlight.

~ Daniel

[tangerinepie]

The whole concept was brilliant with ideal format and emotion.Each stanza interesting and thought provoking.I never realized when I was little that my favorite doll wasn't real, but then childhood thrives on fantasy.This is perfect for the spotlight..congrats to you..Tangie..

[created2write]

Congratulations on the spotlight for this very unique piece of poetry. The way you open with the doll, hinting that maybe the girl is treated in the manner of...then the voice of the boy, and the ending make this a wow combination. Much enjoyed the intriguing pull this has. Peace

[everhopeful]

I can't help but read this as an allegory, a big extended metaphor, for someone stuck in circumstances which they are beyond their control, with the prospect of a better life just out of reach, almost like it is taunting them. The plight of a daydreamer may seem sad, but the ending offered us a source of optimism for the future and a bit of resolve too.
Congratulations on the spotlight.

[Dew]

Lovely thoughts...congrats!!!! -dew

[Sasha]

This is really a clever work!
I love your play on two charaters, as if somehow their past is related, both lost, both looking for popping this empty bubble they are living in, trying to break through... all was captured in a wonderful metaphors!
I like as well the last line, it stays with the reader with a smile and hope.
Well done, and Congratulations on the deserved Spotlight!

Sash

[Whiskurz]

Congrats on the spotlight my friend.....Whisk

[inflames]

Love the final lines. Congrats on your spotlight! This has a great theme to it and is well deserved of this spot. Well done.

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

amazing poem. surprised i missed this when you first posted it. you gave me some great ideas for writing future poetry. think of that as an ultimate compliment. i enjoyed reading this. at first i thought it was spooky than i realized how beautiful your sentiments are. very creative and one of the most original poems i have ever read. i have been reading poetry for 14 years btw. congrats on the spotlight and thank you for sharing, for it was a treat to read.

victor

[dornicks]

I was taken by the symbolism in you piece,enjoyed it and wish you the best,

dornicks

[Afishamongmany]

An interesting read Trekay. Dreams within a dream. Who was/is doing the dreaming? And that tantalizing, the doll - the boy, what is the link, unansweredness. I hope the freedom is tasting sweet for the doll, out there in the world.
Cheers
><>

[ladylilith]

Oh I did so enjoy this the first time, I mean heck, I was the first one to comment! Heh heh. And I was really glad everyone ehr egot a chance to revisit this or experience it for the first time. It's a super piece of peotry. Thank you, again, for sharing it with us, and congrats on the Spotlight!!

Lily^^