Ink or betwixt

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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Sasha
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Ink or betwixt

Post by Sasha » January 19th, 2013, 11:38 am


  • If words were to sharpen their phonetic self;
    fracturing their syllables edges, relinquished.
    carpeting the clean floor under silhouette of dirty footsteps;
    I shall keep their shattered soul
    adjourned for later use.
    And If I were to be their punctuations;
    above the letters, next to their last breaths
    or hanging between
    their skies and lands- I’ll be more willingly to be
    soft smudge of ink, for my soul
    to pirouette between;
    stealing their papery perfumed breeze,
    tattooing it on the softest tissues. Breathing it.

    And thus when a stanza is finished, I shall
    end with a dot, anticipating -
    to indulge my being in another,
    or to seal its very own inky lips;
    imprinting their silence on mine, repainting them
    with intense blacks at the middle parting
    leaving burning reds at the corners.
    But what part I love the most -
    [space][/space][space][/space]When I trade my lingual lateral for the poet
    [space][/space][space][/space]Never [space][/space]for the poet himself - [space][/space] but his silence.
    To hide within me, possessions of egotistic words;
    [space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space]in thrice of my dots



ladymaybebaby
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Re: Ink or betwixt

Post by ladymaybebaby » January 19th, 2013, 11:47 am

First I'm so jealous right now! This is wonderful and I cannot write a thing today... ( sorry! dot.dot.dot.) Free verse! The trigger that set this in motion is so creative and fresh. Your diction is immpecable, the phrasing is beautiful almost dizzying in a way! That's a good thing! Not confused dizzy, but well head swirling dizzy!
Love, love it! Free verse looks gorgeous on you!

-R
xoxo


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My latest poem: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=42651

everhopeful
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Re: Ink or betwixt

Post by everhopeful » January 19th, 2013, 2:25 pm

This is a really nice concept, to me the wonderful extended metaphor speaks of appreciation for the written word to the extent that the speaker is absorbed into the poem through exploring and feeling the words - who wouldn't want to be read by someone like that?!
There's something about this which appeals to both the writer and reader within me, no more so than in the final stanza where the speaker fully savours the verse; the way you have added to the feeling through formatting, even absorbing the silence, was a beautifully poetic touch.
Lovely writing :)



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QuietAstronomer
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Re: Ink or betwixt

Post by QuietAstronomer » January 22nd, 2013, 12:43 pm

Awell, Ms. Sashie....
This one had a very lover based premise, to me.
Can one be aroused by association with the written word?
Methinks you have made that happen with this piece.


Great one!!


QA


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Sasha
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Re: Ink or betwixt

Post by Sasha » January 24th, 2013, 11:43 am

Thank you, Robin, David, hopeful and QA! Your words mean a great deal to me. I'm grateful :)

Sash



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Re: Ink or betwixt

Post by Robert Haigh » March 11th, 2013, 6:18 am

Language is so important, and the written word carries such power of expression. All the words waiting for the writer to choose and deploy, as and when desired. Shakespeare showed the way, inventing idioms and using old words in new ways. None of us can be Shakespeare, but we can write creatively and poetically, if we put our mind to it, and open our soul to genuine feelings. This is a beautifully expressive and poetic write!



ladymaybebaby
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Re: Ink or betwixt

Post by ladymaybebaby » March 11th, 2013, 10:12 am

Stopping back to say congrats on the spotlight choice, it is much deserved!

-R
xoxo


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My latest poem: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=42651

Whiskurz
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Re: Ink or betwixt

Post by Whiskurz » March 11th, 2013, 4:12 pm

This has got to be one of the most well deserved spotlights ever.....Bravo and Congrats my friend......Whisk



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tangerinepie
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Re: Ink or betwixt

Post by tangerinepie » March 11th, 2013, 4:47 pm

Flawless in it's exquisite word structure, and shimmering with depth.I think everything else has been said, so I can only say that as poets we must praise with true joy this masterpiece..An exceptional spot light choice..Tangie..


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whubbard7
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Re: Ink or betwixt

Post by whubbard7 » March 11th, 2013, 11:49 pm

Wow Sash this is like... profesional level poetry you've written here! You must have been utterly inspired when you wrote this! I don't think I could ever write something like this... I have certainly tried though... maybe just a bit more practice for me, though. I'm still young! Great job with the spotlight, I'm your biggest fan!
~WH7


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~My soul

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Jahaliel
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Re: Ink or betwixt

Post by Jahaliel » March 12th, 2013, 3:46 am

Beautiful, exquisite! Totally deserving of a Spotlight. Awesome!!


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Patdolan83
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Re: Ink or betwixt

Post by Patdolan83 » March 12th, 2013, 10:46 am

There is no way one could overstate how beautiful this write is.....very very well penned and congrats on the deserved spotlight


"I wouldn’t want you to want
To be wanted by me
I wouldn’t want you to worry
That You'd be drowned within my sea
I only wanted to be wonderful
And wonderful is true
In truth I only really wanted
To be wanted by you"

D Rice

inflames
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Re: Ink or betwixt

Post by inflames » March 12th, 2013, 4:26 pm

Sasha, I have to say, this might be by far one of my favourite pieces I have ever read on TPS. The phrasing is beautiful and the irony of the poem leading up to that final punctuation mark but then ending with out it really resonates with a person. This is wonderful. It is in the place it belongs- the spotlight. What a brilliant piece. I'll have to catch your work more often, as I'm kicking myself for not having seen this before....

Wonderful work Sasha. Congrats on a well deserved spotlight.


"I don't see novels ending with any real sense of closure."
– Michael Ondaatje


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Ladywildalice
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Re: Ink or betwixt

Post by Ladywildalice » March 13th, 2013, 1:22 pm

An excellent choice for Spotlight. Congratulations, lovely write and much enjoyed.


'Where ecstasy leaves gravity and dances with wild eyes' by Ladywildalice

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mouze
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Re: Ink or betwixt

Post by mouze » March 13th, 2013, 5:15 pm

Another excelent write from an excelent poet. Congrats on geting the spotlight.


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Where the mind fails the heart proceeds,
Where the voice falters the hand proceeds.

karrie
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Re: Ink or betwixt

Post by karrie » March 14th, 2013, 4:19 am

Oh my goodness this is absolutely wonderful! Congratulations on the well deserved spotlight! :smile:



everhopeful
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Re: Ink or betwixt

Post by everhopeful » March 15th, 2013, 9:41 am

A poem written for poets and poetry, by a poet - what's not to love about this?
The way the speaker becomes absorbed by and connected to the ink speaks of someone enchanted by the wrriten word, yet the second stanza also shows something which is even more interactive between speaker and subject matter.
Enjoyed another chance to see this one, especially in this board where it belongs!
Congratulations on the spotlight!



MBW
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Re: Ink or betwixt

Post by MBW » March 16th, 2013, 10:51 pm

I like how you brought the language to life through the use of your images, and how it makes me imagine sentences being broken up into many living organisms and environments. If I were to pick one word to describe this it would be "passionate". It's as if the love you have for writing, words, language, poetry are so sweeping because, by reading, some of it can be transferred from you to me. Well deserved. Congratulations.


"Black water streams and splatters white stones."

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dornicks
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Re: Ink or betwixt

Post by dornicks » March 24th, 2013, 11:58 am

I wish I had the ability to condense what all the other readers had to say on this piece. Truely remarkable is all I can,happily, offer. Congratulations to you.

dornicks


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