out of season

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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astroannie
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out of season

Post by astroannie » March 15th, 2013, 7:46 pm

green leaves on my tree
dried and shriveled catch the wind
fall arrives in spring


If at first you don't succeed, try second, third, or shortstop.

entwife
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Re: out of season

Post by entwife » March 15th, 2013, 9:11 pm

spectacular, blends and leads us to spring, lovely annie


"I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance" e.e. cummings

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Re: out of season

Post by Sasha » March 16th, 2013, 6:15 pm

Such a powerful effective haiku!
Creative, original and poignant. Wonderfully thought of!

Sash



AliMariesDad

Re: out of season

Post by AliMariesDad » March 16th, 2013, 7:09 pm

We have a pin oak in the back yard that many times doesn't drop its leaves until winter or spring, so I can relate well to this. Also, this is a wonderful metaphor!!!!!! Outstanding haiku, aa!
AMD



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allmirth
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Re: out of season

Post by allmirth » September 6th, 2014, 8:16 pm

Such a lovely snapshot. Reading this now, anticipating a fall, which never really materializes in this neck of the woods, I really like the atmosphere of this. Congratulations on a well deserved Spotlight.

Thanks much for sharing.
Mirthy :lovey:


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LorettaYoung
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Re: out of season

Post by LorettaYoung » September 7th, 2014, 2:06 pm

Congratulations, beautiful picture; I am always intrigued at the whims of changing seasons and you brought this to mind. Loretta



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Re: out of season

Post by flux » September 7th, 2014, 3:36 pm

Reminds me of the novel, 'Frost in Spring.' Someone once said, a novel is a river and a poem is a fountain, and I think this is a good example of that idea. Well done on having this spotlighted.


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sparky21737
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Re: out of season

Post by sparky21737 » September 7th, 2014, 9:25 pm

Congrats on the well deserved spotlight. This is a beautiful poem with some stunning imagery. Thanks for sharing

Sparky


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Josie
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Re: out of season

Post by Josie » September 8th, 2014, 6:13 pm

This is a very poignant image. Perhaps from ignorance, I am guessing the tree is suffering from not enough nutrients or water. Did the tree suffer from stress? I am remembering how an ice storm can devastate a healthy tree. I related the early demise of your tree's leaves with what one calls an untimely death for humans. Thank you for sharing.


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astroannie
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Re: out of season

Post by astroannie » September 9th, 2014, 7:25 am

Thank you all for your kind words and the Spotlight nomination.


If at first you don't succeed, try second, third, or shortstop.

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Re: out of season

Post by dornicks » September 12th, 2014, 4:38 pm

I'm not good at haiku,but I like what you've said. Congratulations on the spotlight and thank you for sharing this,

dornicks


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Re: out of season

Post by potentialpoet » September 13th, 2014, 5:27 pm

In some ways I'm confused by "green leaves" being "dried and shriveled." That is contradictory in some sense, but I also like that it is illogical and unexpected. Of course, it perfectly sets up the "fall arrives in spring" concluding line. So, I'm set to wondering what has caused this? Why is fall arriving at the opposite time? What could that mean in personal terms?

The brevity is disarming and at the same time very potent, because it reads as a statement of the essence of something, some turn of events that came unexpectedly.

I can't imagine changing anything about this poem!


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astroannie
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Re: out of season

Post by astroannie » September 13th, 2014, 11:30 pm

I wrote this in March. Here in SE Texas, our northern trees don't turn pretty colors in the autumn (we don't really have autumn or winter, just a sort of rainy season) and shed their leaves, the leaves sorta hang on and dry up and then fall off whenever. Sometimes in what passes for spring, the old leaves are still falling off while the new leaves are growing in.


If at first you don't succeed, try second, third, or shortstop.

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Re: out of season

Post by dwells » September 14th, 2014, 2:20 am

Annie - as I recall you had a medical issue last year but it was with your eyes. Josie said it best already and you subsequently explained, but what could one little drink hurt? BTW - many trees do likewise down here too. Congrats on the focused illumination, cheers! - Dan


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