Warrior Wasteland

[scapegrace]

A sterile ocean of onyx sand stretches before him,
all ponderous shifting shoulders
and shivering infinites. This stygian desert
purs raucously beneath his gravity afflicted feet
and the moon sits heavy in indolence
amidst its whisper wreath of cloud.
Slender traces of furling light crowns these landscapes
in shades of ash and bone; dons the night in shining armor.
And the cold breath of evening stirs, languished,
deep to the root and cellar like repentant marrow
divorced from its bones. This grim warrior wake walks
through plutonian sleep-spoken platitudes.
Idle and stone sour he carries no arms but
the claustrophobic bones of slain brothers
and the stars scream down of far flung infinitudes.
His thoughts ascend and the silence builds
an empire within eternity.
Loss has calcified his heart,
sacrifice cannot be quantified, and
duty has honored him a widower, a fine upstanding stranger,
and a stow away hero.
Where will all their words fall now?
Marooned in the past, to present a fruitless future.
Oh, home sits on his heart like a fever pitch dream,
shaking and quaking and never waking at dawn.
The desert around voiced its derisive dry chuckle,
devours each footprint in fits and starves.

He will fall to his knees and look up to heaven
reunite with the child, the soldier, his brethren.
And the stars won't go dim or burn ever brighter
but at each wracking sob, his soul feels a bit lighter.

[ladylilith]

I love this. Such strong, more-ish imagery. It has a fantastical, or more ethereal, kind of element to it while still allowing the reader to relate it to a real and experienced kind of thing, if that makes sense? I really enjoyed the perspective here and the really engaging descriptions. And then the sharp sting of emotion, a sad kind of ching thing that also pokes at you as you read.. A wonderful piece of OM. I'm a little envious actually! Heh. Thank you for sharing it!

Lily^^

[Jahaliel]

Such a powerful piece of writing. The ending really hit home with me. Really awesome OM.

[everhopeful]

Wow, this is heavy stuff, and absolutely relentless in terms of the narrative and the diction used. The vocabulary is one of the most striking features of this to me, it's always nice to see someone use elevated terms appropriate to the theme, yet it is also constructed in a way which has a lot of spoken appeal. A really strong ending stanza to this one, solid OM work.

[Lydan Calivere]

The tragedy of war and the spiritual anguish of those who survive is so vividly captured here, such a brilliant piece, thank you for sharing.

[oortcloudtwo]

This was, pardon the pun, killer. A flourid and thoughtful take on the mindset of a lifelong warrior. Pardon the nerdout here, but it reminds me of the monologue given by Umbra in Morrowind... When one is born to kill and conquer a permanent divide it set between them and their fellow man. Enemies, friends, the guilty, the innocent...all eventually become vague shapes in the light reflected off a blade. All become a nuanced buzz in the shrill clarion call of "honor". I enjoyed how the final stanza humanized the warrior a bit, offering a bit of redemption even though we all know that death is the only true redemption. This is a gorgeously written piece with gritty as hell overtones. Not an easy balance to strike, but you nailed it. Well done.

[::SAGA::]

Absolutely agree with Cloud, terribly killer! Loved this part especially.
His thoughts ascend and the silence builds
an empire within eternity.
Very Nice!! indeed, great to see you around and killn em again!

::S::

[Eggy]

Impressive wordsmithing!

[dwells]

Atonement and forgiveness, but first a sentient and worthy soul - cheers SG, much wisdom!

[flux]

This is genuinely impressive, the scene and your warrior are truly one. You layer your prose expertly here, describing the scene and the warrior as if one couldn't exist without the other, and each layer is rich, inventive, smart... Ultimately, I imagine this could be the spirit of all warriors and every battlefield, the poems sums up both and left me admiring both and feeling sympathy for both. Excellent and congratulations.

[inflames]

I really love this poem. The final stanza is absolutely beautiful. :) I can't even explain how beautiful it is... it really struck a cord with me. A wonderful, and well deserved spotlight!

[everhopeful]

The use of personification of elements of the natural world adds to the heavy atmosphere I mentioned first time around, and helps to make this feel so darkly and tragically insightful, especially from the latter half of the opening stanza onward where the focus shifts to the warrior's emotional burdens, the kind which will be carried forever. The quatrain was a nice touch to summate the poem, and the spotlighting of it comes at an appropriate time, at least over here, as we approach Remembrance Sunday.
Congratulations on the spotlight.

[rupertpupkin]

Hi, loved the word choices used in this and the vocabulary in general. Great atmosphere and a most captivating read. the previous reviews have said it all but I would just like to echo all that has been said. Brilliant write, enjoy your week in the spotlight, it is most deserving, cheers, Sean.

[songofmeadow]

I am amazed that this was originally an OM poem, the rich language and imagery are incredible, well deserved spotlight poem mx

[dornicks]

A strong srory with some outstanding lines and an easy flow. Congratulations on the Spotlight,

dornicks

[ConcreteChariot]

I'm with Mick on this one, that last stanza kills it.