An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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Spinflip - Regular Member
- Posts:29
- Joined:June 23rd, 2012, 3:00 am
The Desperation Tour
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by Spinflip » April 6th, 2013, 5:07 am
_________________________________
They gave me tickets to a shooting
The years big social event
I thought of staying home that night
But in the end I went.
Don't ask me who died that day
Or what the lesson learned was
When the gunshots started I grabbed a drink
And just said 'Bread and Circus.'
I knew how the fight would end
I'd seen it all before
Every time I look out on
The Desperation Tour
_________________________________
Joe McCarthy, and a scarecrow
The two remaining camps
McCarthy has shouted himself hoarse
And the scarecrow has wet it's pants
The argument goes at all hours
And sometimes people are lynched
Though neither side can admit defeat
Neither has gained an inch
But in fields of green I'm sitting
Where the seeds of victory sown
By those who came before me on
The Desperation Tour
_________________________________
At the movies, everyone's cheering
As our hero slays the beast
Leonidas draped in the stars and stripes
A perfect American priest
They all laugh when he cracks wise
Though I laugh more at bone
And I wait for the end of the movie
Where he burns down his own home
I left the theater puzzled
When that's not what the ending showed
This fantasy would get laughed out of
The Desperation Tour
_________________________________
After school, the girls line up
Ten thousand young brunettes
To where their favorite author gives
A swift bite to their necks
They all stagger home afterwards
Their hearts and minds sucked dry
Where they end up getting married to
The first guy that comes by
You might not like your son-in-law
And your daughter's insecure
But at least she never ran off with
The Desperation Tour
_________________________________
I find myself at the brain mill
With last year's Jazz Woodwinds
At least with those who never went
To cleanse the world of sin
We enter with our Kia's
And if all goes as intent
We'll leave here in used Chevrolet's
With a Cadillac in debt.
I don't know how I got here
There seemed nowhere else go go
My only other option was
The Desperation Tour.
_________________________________
Che Guevara hides in a coffeeshop
With his weekend freedom-fighters
But their glasses have no glass to them
And they all reek of cider
These militant Walmart-expatriots
They coat their gaze in salt
Each one among them striving
To be called the most 'Alt'
Placated by their circle-jerk
Not one would ever know
They're nothing but a burden to
The Desperation Tour
_________________________________
The next wonder arrived in town today
In a hundred yards of flannel
Its engines humming with harmonicas
And its steps of brown enamel
The ghost of Duke, and Bob's amnesia
Squirm in the commanders seat
I'd throw both of them overboard
If someone else could drive this thing
But right now, that's our captain
On the Hindenburg 2.0
As it cruises below the treeline with
The Desperation Tour
_________________________________
Sure I got your Facebook message
Right after I blew up my phone
But I wasn't sure if it was you
Or just another clone
You said I'd stolen from a wiser man
I'd say you're absolutely right
Second hand wisdom is better
Than band new noisy tripe
Take me off your friends list
I don't want to hear from you no more
Not unless you've tickets to
The Desperation Tour
_________________________________
I saw you at the Super Bowl
Your stone has come to rest
And in the debris of your avalanche
I scrawl this S.O.S
Once my suicidal idol
I can't believe you were bought in
You played all of the hits and
You urged me to buy American
Well, it took me like a week
To pick my jaw up off the floor
I snatched my hat and pen up
I'm on the Desperation Tour Last edited by
Spinflip on February 25th, 2014, 9:49 pm, edited 2 times in total.
"The cruelest thing you can do to an artist is tell them their work is brilliant, when it isn't."
-Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw
Newest Work -
Poetry:
Fume
My Corpus
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jeremyf - Regular Member
- Posts:982
- Joined:April 23rd, 2012, 5:24 pm
- Location:Coastline of Mexico
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by jeremyf » April 6th, 2013, 9:56 pm
Wow there is a lot here. Honestly I dig it, I am just amazed at how much you put into this poem. You touched on not only different social groups, but different periods in time, truly making this piece all encompassing. I think the last lined repetition served its purpose well and kept this write bound together. Great work.
When Tolken professes beauty in "cellar door",
my response has to be "violent's womb".
MORE OF THIS
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Dew - Elite Member
- Posts:7403
- Joined:April 24th, 2012, 9:08 pm
- Location:The Emerald Coast
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Contact:
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by Dew » April 7th, 2013, 6:29 pm
Ditto jer...this reads like an epic journey through the soul of our modern travesty. I always wonder, did every age assume it was the worst? Is it really always getting worse every year? That can't be true but...your accusations are irrefutable...and I pine desperately for a little heart that is original, that is my own, that isn't borrowed at a window shop or widescreen. Such a grand work of heart, and a timeless piece even in it's flagstops! I bow...Dew
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Mike6 - Elite Member
- Posts:1181
- Joined:April 17th, 2012, 11:23 pm
- Location:Toronto, ON
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by Mike6 » April 8th, 2013, 7:54 pm
I have to echo the above commenters. There is definitely A LOT of material here. I think I have to read it a second time to get the full effect. I really liked how you utilized "The Desperation Tour" throughout each section and how each section had a different tragedy of its own.
Thanks for sharing.
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Afishamongmany - Regular Member
- Posts:253
- Joined:January 25th, 2013, 6:08 pm
- Location:France
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by Afishamongmany » April 10th, 2013, 4:44 pm
Hey thanks
Spinflip that was a most enjoyable read. And this bit was especially delectable.
"You said I'd stolen from a wiser man
I'd say you're absolutely right
Second hand wisdom is better
Than band new noisy tripe"
Yea we need to get on that bus and out of Desolation Row, said the
to the thief.
Thanks again and go well,
><>
"...whatever things are - true, whatever things are - noble, whatever things are - pure, whatever things are - lovely , whatever things are - of good report, if there is any - virtue and if there is anything to praise - think on these things."
Paul the Apostle, A.D.60-62.
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ladymaybebaby - Elite Member
- Posts:5371
- Joined:April 18th, 2012, 11:37 am
- Location:dying in the heat and humidity that is New Orleans
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by ladymaybebaby » June 16th, 2013, 2:09 pm
Epic! Excellent! Congratulations on the spotlight pick of the week! It is a much deserved honor, this is an incredible piece of poetry!
-LMB
xoxo
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Afishamongmany - Regular Member
- Posts:253
- Joined:January 25th, 2013, 6:08 pm
- Location:France
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by Afishamongmany » June 17th, 2013, 4:21 am
Congratulations said the
to the
><>
"...whatever things are - true, whatever things are - noble, whatever things are - pure, whatever things are - lovely , whatever things are - of good report, if there is any - virtue and if there is anything to praise - think on these things."
Paul the Apostle, A.D.60-62.
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songofmeadow
- Elite Member
- Posts:2132
- Joined:April 14th, 2012, 3:20 pm
- Location:the bright side
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by songofmeadow » June 17th, 2013, 11:39 am
A incredible piece of poetry, though pieced together so well courtesy of the refrain line, each little vignette deserves merit, the balladic style structure makes reading a breeze mx
Remember, 3 replies for every poem you post!!
Latest...
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dornicks - Elite Member
- Posts:3344
- Joined:April 19th, 2012, 5:28 pm
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by dornicks » June 17th, 2013, 2:44 pm
A fine,sustained piece of writing that sets the mind whirring and demands a second read. Congratulations on being where you deserve,
dornicks
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everhopeful - Elite Member
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- Joined:April 14th, 2012, 9:21 am
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by everhopeful » June 20th, 2013, 2:57 pm
I really enjoyed this one, there's some dark humour and satire, all penned in the ballad style of narrative which works like a dream for scattergun poetry like this. I barely even noticed the refrain line, which is to your credit with such rapid repetition of it. With such wide ranging content all captured with flair, this is a hard poem to dislike and easy to read and admire.
Congratulations on the spotlight!
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inflames - Elite Member
- Posts:1163
- Joined:April 14th, 2012, 2:23 am
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by inflames » June 20th, 2013, 4:03 pm
This is really awesome. I love the flow and humour to it. It flows really well and has such a swinging taste to it. Awesome work. Great choice for the spotlight! Congrats!
"I don't see novels ending with any real sense of closure."
– Michael Ondaatje
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karrie - Elite Member
- Posts:3627
- Joined:April 17th, 2012, 12:21 am
- Location:Deep in the heart of Texas
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by karrie » June 20th, 2013, 6:09 pm
What an epic and engrossing piece of poetry! Congrats on the spotlight.
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Larsen M. Callirhoe
- Elite Member
- Posts:2075
- Joined:April 17th, 2012, 11:23 pm
- Location:Cincinnati, Ohio - USA
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by Larsen M. Callirhoe » June 20th, 2013, 6:49 pm
I have to reiterate that this epic piece is an outstanding write. You captivate me and reel me in with the repetition at the end of each stanza that brings each view of the world you speak of having different perspectives on the subject mater. Exalt for an amazing write. Congrats on the spotlight, for it is more than well deserved.
victor
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musie - Elite Member
- Posts:2716
- Joined:April 14th, 2012, 11:56 pm
- Location:The Heartland
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by musie » June 20th, 2013, 10:58 pm
Spinflip~I have only recently read another one of your piece's...this is most definitely and admirable piece and one to be read time and time again, as I think the reader would glean something new with each read...and EXCEPTIONAL write..so VERY creative in both it's style and format....CONGRATULATIONS on a most deserved Spotlight! Musie
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Pinta77 - Regular Member
- Posts:465
- Joined:May 2nd, 2012, 1:44 am
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by Pinta77 » June 21st, 2013, 2:47 am
You rhyme "brunettes" and "their necks". You are on a superior level when it comes to rhyming! Geez, I feel like I hopped into a time machine. We went from McCarthy to facebook in such a short amount of time. Seriously this is is a great write. It's got a dark vibe, and I like that. Thanks for sharing!
"We gotta have fun now, there's only minutes left"
~ Proof (1973-2006)
"Don't leave words on a empty shelf,"
~albrightyo
Don't Click!
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Spinflip - Regular Member
- Posts:29
- Joined:June 23rd, 2012, 3:00 am
Post
by Spinflip » February 25th, 2014, 9:45 pm
Wow. I didn't know I even made the spotlight until I came back today!
Thanks to everyone for the kind words.
Now I need to write something for the spotlight which I didn't rip off
I've also recently wrote one additional verse for this. I'll add it to the bottom of the post.
"The cruelest thing you can do to an artist is tell them their work is brilliant, when it isn't."
-Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw
Newest Work -
Poetry:
Fume
My Corpus