"In the Forest, Beneath the Redwood Trees" (Mildly Mature)

[blueinferno07]

Grey skies and healing hearts:
we kissed beneath the redwood trees.
In little snippets of time I saw perfectly manicured hands
clutching, tightly pressing against my throat.
Asphyxia...we made love in a bed of pine needles.
We kissed beneath the redwood trees.
I handed you my tongue in a brown paper bag
and pointed to the holes in my ears,
signaling you had my undivided attention.
You fed me from stone bowls filled with your eyes
and I ate until my stomach burst in a flurry of baby's breath and lavender.
We scraped our tender flesh with tree bark.
We kissed beneath the redwood trees.
When the rain fell at last, in torrents and in waves,
we dove into puddles of mud and painted ourselves like predators.
I spat words into my palms in ribbons of black and gold,
weaving them into the braids of your chestnut hair.
We devoured each other in the pale light of the forest;
Asphyxia...we kissed beneath the redwood trees.

[ladymaybebaby]

What a great read! This is different from your other work, but boy melikes it! This is right up my poetry alley. Great use of extended metaphor, you handled it wonderfully, but gently. If that makes sense? It's a compliment if it doesn't make any sense! Anyway, some great and concrete imagery stick with the reader long after the words are done! Super duper work! Thanks for sharing this gem with us! I'm glad to be the first to comment on this, but boy everyone is missing out! Happy national poetry month to you as well! Again, very nicely done!

-LMB
xoxo

[YoursTrulyZsa]

Wow...imagery galore!!! What an awesome read!

Zsa

[ladylilith]

You changed your avatar!

Anyway.. Concentrate Lily.. Jeez.

I will echo Zsa in that there is a feast of imagery on offer to the reader in this piece. I gotta say though, it was the ending that killed it for me. An absolutely stunning finale. That word in italics, holding so much power and effect, even while repeated, and then the given description adding the softer, natural touch to it again.

I love this. This is up there as one of my favourites by you. Really impressive work.

Lily^^

P.S. Adore this line: 'we dove into puddles of mud and painted ourselves like predators.'

[ladymaybebaby]

From the first line and my first comment on this piece I knew it would be quickly picked as a spotlight choice! My original comments stand, I love this piece! Congrats on the spotlight pick of the week, it truly is much deserved and I am so happy it got recognized so quickly!

-LMB
xoxo

[JASON]

quite a romp in the woods there,passionate stuff.

[AliMariesDad]

blue, what beautiful imagery and powerful emotions. Like song's, truly worthy of the spotlight. Great poem.
AMD

[blueinferno07]

Thank you all so much :)

[Jovel320]

Enjoyed the raw passion and nothing hidden approach, I felt that mother nature wanted to censure what was taking place in her forest,
Good work and well enjoyed!!
Jovel320

[tangerinepie]

This is truly a feast for lovers of the sensual, and especially in such a wondrous setting.The charming and unique phrases deserved the reward of the spotlight,it is a rich and satisfying poem..Congrats..Tangie..

[Mike6]

Wow, this is such an amazing piece of poetry! The images are absolutely stunning, the words fit perfectly and the repetition of asphyxia takes the reader's breath away.

Great job congrats on the spotlight!

[everhopeful]

Excellent use of the scenery in this, making for a vivid use of imagery and metaphor throughout. This is such a vibrant and colourful piece that it takes on a life of its own, and while the interplay between the two lovers obviously holds centre stage the setting helps to elevate it to the next level.
Congratulations on the spotlight!

[Areyaen]

congratz on the spotlight... wonderful imagery... beautifully passionate... great piece

[songofmeadow]

Well done on the spotlight. As has been said the fantastic imagery is spellbinding and I like how the refrain line became something of a necessity, giving the reader a little down time to get their head around what was going on, much enjoyed mx

[dornicks]

This is the kind of piece that could be read over and over again. A wonderful picture your words have painted and the Spotlight is it's home. Congratulations to you,

dornicks