An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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SirDaniel
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- Location:Sunshine State
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Our Endless Skies
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by SirDaniel » November 8th, 2012, 11:31 pm
OUR ENDLESS SKIES
I dreamed of you today
As the wind was blowing my way
And the rain fell softly on the grass
You held a mirror in your hand
The key to a far-away land
Where leaves are silk and trees are glass
Where lovers run across endless skies
Finding moments to improvise
Where the sun hides behind a solar eclipse
Where laughter is always felt
Where the snow begins to melt
Like I did, the first time we kissed
In this land of yours and mine
Every circle becomes a line
As my everywhere leads back to you
There are no roads or towns near
Just you, me and the atmosphere
The planets and stars are ours just to view
Alone in bed, no one to watch me sleep
My breathing becomes fast, heavy and deep
You and I, now inches apart
There are no words we need to say
We watch daylight slowly slip away
No sound, just the beating of my heart...
~ ~ ~
I dreamed of you last night
As the rain fell with all its might
Outside, a thunderstorm grows near
I hold my pillow, close my eyes
Imagine our world of endless skies
I find you waiting, we disappear..[/center]
© 2012
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Poetress - Regular Member
- Posts:447
- Joined:September 24th, 2012, 8:43 am
- Location:New Hampshire
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by Poetress » November 9th, 2012, 12:09 am
Magnificent...leaves me speechless and breathless all at once. The snapshots of a lover's heart for the one loved ring true to anyone who has been there done that.
my favorite lines...
"Where laughter is always felt
Where the snow begins to melt
Like I did, the first time we kissed"
loved it
Breathe-in experience,
breathe-out poetry.
Muriel Rukeyser
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TheManInTheSuit - Regular Member
- Posts:257
- Joined:April 18th, 2012, 10:56 am
- Location:Elk Grove, CA
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by TheManInTheSuit » November 9th, 2012, 10:49 am
Wow just so utterly brilliant... exactly what I signed up for when I saw you wrote this piece hahaha. It would be too hard to pin point what exactly I found best about it, it was fantastic at every level and really resonated with me. I love your rhyme and flow and imagery, the piece was as beautiful as the picture. The end was amazing, I love that little break you made it is a great idea and when I got to that part it "woke me up" from being lost in your writing to just nail me at the end. Good stuff my friend, thanks for sharing!
I wear my heart on my sleeves
With matching chucks
Upon my feets...
What is your poetry?
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Sasha - Elite Member
- Posts:2426
- Joined:April 18th, 2012, 9:46 am
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by Sasha » November 9th, 2012, 2:39 pm
Oh, that's beautiful!!
So heartwarming and just so sweet!
I just love it, and so enjoyed reading it, truly!
Sash
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created2write
- Regular Member
- Posts:649
- Joined:April 19th, 2012, 8:03 pm
- Location:between a whisper and a prayer
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by created2write » November 9th, 2012, 8:45 pm
Hi Sir Daniel, this is beautiful and it highlights soulfully and the feelings being relayed. It rose and fell in an endless rhythm that captured the beauty of the endless skies allude to. Your way with words sets this scene gloriously and I loved it! Peace, V
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SirDaniel
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- Joined:April 10th, 2012, 10:01 pm
- Location:Sunshine State
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by SirDaniel » November 13th, 2012, 5:23 am
words are useless in attempting to say how much these comments mean to me.. they keep me picking up the pen again and again. Thank you all for your encouragement.
~ Daniel
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Jahaliel
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- Joined:April 14th, 2012, 6:53 pm
- Location:A'divell
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by Jahaliel » November 16th, 2012, 7:22 am
You always are one of my favourite poets to read because your work is so beautiful, there's a real sense of fluidity to your words that makes it easy to get lost inside your poetry. This is amazing, I loved it so much.
3 replies for every post
I loved you then, I love you still though we are shadows of our former glory
Though they try to kill us off, we are a never-ending story
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everhopeful - Elite Member
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by everhopeful » November 16th, 2012, 7:57 am
The form of this felt just right for the content, the elegant imagery and language had such a gentle lilt to it that it added to the feeling of an imaginative dreamer as the speaker, someone who found fantasy to be a much more pleasant place than the real world. Lovely use of natural imagery helped to make the setting feel like a personal Eden, yet the true substance is in the feeling inspired by the lover who you would share it with.
A wintry feel in places, but with more than enough warmth to melt the snow away.
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nativepride91 - Regular Member
- Posts:93
- Joined:April 2nd, 2013, 5:46 pm
- Location:Unknown
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by nativepride91 » April 9th, 2013, 3:50 pm
I agree this is a amazing poem!!!
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jwesley - Elite Member
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- Joined:February 22nd, 2013, 11:46 am
- Location:Texas
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by jwesley » April 11th, 2013, 6:14 pm
Wonderful piece, my friend; love shining throughout. Especially liked the opening stanza...
j.
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Larsen M. Callirhoe
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- Joined:April 17th, 2012, 11:23 pm
- Location:Cincinnati, Ohio - USA
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by Larsen M. Callirhoe » April 12th, 2013, 3:40 pm
wow Daniel I am surprised i missed this when it was first posted. this is so beautifully inked and very heart-warming to say the least. every line and every stanza is perfectly placed. i loved three stanzas in particular at the beginning of the poem. this is very fluid and reads like a masterpiece in a poet's writings. the imagery lays a foundation for one of the most romantic poems i have read in awhile. more please. enjoyed and thanks for sharing your sentiments Sir Daniel.
victor
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SirDaniel
- Elite Member
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- Joined:April 10th, 2012, 10:01 pm
- Location:Sunshine State
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by SirDaniel » April 13th, 2013, 6:31 am
Wow.. what a surprise to see this poem back on the first page. Thank you to everyone. Love is a gift, treasure it even when you can't hold it.
~ Daniel
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musie - Elite Member
- Posts:2716
- Joined:April 14th, 2012, 11:56 pm
- Location:The Heartland
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by musie » April 14th, 2013, 7:15 am
Sir D my friend..I think I have to say that you outdid yourself on this piece....What can I say that has not already been said, it's no wonder this is in the Spotlight! As it is ABSOLUTELY where it need's to be...A true joy to read, SO very refreshing and romantic...just WOW! CONGRAT'S! Musie
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JASON - Elite Member
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- Joined:June 19th, 2012, 7:43 am
- Location:here and there
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by JASON » April 15th, 2013, 7:29 am
fantastic work,well done.
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sunsetgrey - Regular Member
- Posts:57
- Joined:September 8th, 2012, 4:31 am
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by sunsetgrey » April 15th, 2013, 11:58 am
I quite honestly loved this piece, very well crafted- the way you use your words seemed to preserve a moment in space and time. It's very sweet and extremely romantic, there is a very beautiful love that seems to radiate from it. I particularly enjoyed the use of italics for some of the phrases, and this one- "Every circle becomes a line//As my everywhere leads back to you" is my personal favourite. The entire scene is really quite lovely- lying in bed. Great write, a well deserved spotlight.
Thank you!
- Alison
To see the world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wildflower.
To hold Infinity in the palm of your hand and Eternity in the hour.
~ William Blake
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ladymaybebaby - Elite Member
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- Joined:April 18th, 2012, 11:37 am
- Location:dying in the heat and humidity that is New Orleans
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by ladymaybebaby » April 15th, 2013, 12:54 pm
Beautiful, charming, sweet, romantic... everything warm and fuzzy wrapped in a bow! Congratulations on the spotlight pick for the week, much deserved!
-LMB
xoxo
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Josie
- Regular Member
- Posts:770
- Joined:May 27th, 2012, 10:31 pm
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by Josie » April 15th, 2013, 2:37 pm
I liked the way your Narrator was able to go to bed and continue the dream for a second night! The picture of the sky was one where you would want to call everyone you know to rave about the colors that look spread by a painter's brush. Your poetry craftsmanship in handling the connection between the tercets and the elaborate rhyming scheme was impressive. Thank you for sharing.
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dornicks - Elite Member
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- Joined:April 19th, 2012, 5:28 pm
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by dornicks » April 15th, 2013, 3:17 pm
I echo the previous comments. It may sound crazy,but I read this as two poems in one i.e. the last lines of each stanza are in themselves a poem as are the first two- if you know what I mean. A good read and congratulations,
dornicks
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jamielou - Regular Member
- Posts:684
- Joined:May 8th, 2012, 1:09 pm
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by jamielou » April 17th, 2013, 11:12 am
Seems as if for a little while you held Heaven in your hands. Especially liked the 3rd stamza. Beautiful.
Louise
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Sasha - Elite Member
- Posts:2426
- Joined:April 18th, 2012, 9:46 am
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by Sasha » April 17th, 2013, 12:50 pm
This gets better and better with every read!
I'll say it again, it's just so heartwarming with very lovely imagery.
Subtle wonderful write. Congratulations on the deserved Spotlight, Sir!
Sash